The Climbing Diaries, Day 2
I woke up in good humor again today. Last night, I forced myself to finish reading some books I wasn't enjoying, just to get them over with. I actually skipped a few stories and poems that looked uninteresting (a novel approach for me). In addition, I did some small amount of cleaning in my room and threw away some things that my lesser packrat instincts told me to keep. Finally, I fell asleep around 9:30pm, which may be some kind of first. Of course, today, I woke up at 5am, and have yet to do anything productive by 2:30pm (including showering or eating breakfast). I will probably go do both of those after I am done here.
Either way, this suggests that my lack of appetite may not be a result or symptom of my former mood. More likely, as previously guessed, it is a partial cause of said mood. Still, this does not answer why I often don't feel like eating for whole days. Oh well, I'll work on that later. As it stands, I Need (with a capital N) to get myself fed, even if I am not hungry. There is no point in causing my body any added stress to what it already receives.
I have started doing some very basic stretches, meant mostly to soothe aching muscles and increase my range of motion. A hopeful secondary effect will be an increase in my posture and/or an increased desire to do further exercise. And, hopefully, that will tire me out for good and proper rest.
Still, baby steps. Baby steps. Rome was not built in a day, and neither, for that matter, was I. I have done a lot of hard work damaging my brain and body, so I suppose it will take an equal, if not greater, amount of work to repair it. But I have to do that work incrementally. I have to do what I can handle. I wish I could focus on that approach more easily. Inevitably along that line (be it in learning, working, living, etc), I become frustrated that my progress and results aren't good enough. But I can't do that.
So today, I stretch some. I call a friend. I eat dinner with my homestay family and read them my mom's thank you note. I put the finishing touches on my presentation to the 121ers. Tomorrow? My whole dang schedule is going to be interrupted by a full day bus trip. Sigh. Still, some stretches aren't out of the question.
-Pocket's never had much faith in his future self. I guess you have to build that slowly too.
Either way, this suggests that my lack of appetite may not be a result or symptom of my former mood. More likely, as previously guessed, it is a partial cause of said mood. Still, this does not answer why I often don't feel like eating for whole days. Oh well, I'll work on that later. As it stands, I Need (with a capital N) to get myself fed, even if I am not hungry. There is no point in causing my body any added stress to what it already receives.
I have started doing some very basic stretches, meant mostly to soothe aching muscles and increase my range of motion. A hopeful secondary effect will be an increase in my posture and/or an increased desire to do further exercise. And, hopefully, that will tire me out for good and proper rest.
Still, baby steps. Baby steps. Rome was not built in a day, and neither, for that matter, was I. I have done a lot of hard work damaging my brain and body, so I suppose it will take an equal, if not greater, amount of work to repair it. But I have to do that work incrementally. I have to do what I can handle. I wish I could focus on that approach more easily. Inevitably along that line (be it in learning, working, living, etc), I become frustrated that my progress and results aren't good enough. But I can't do that.
So today, I stretch some. I call a friend. I eat dinner with my homestay family and read them my mom's thank you note. I put the finishing touches on my presentation to the 121ers. Tomorrow? My whole dang schedule is going to be interrupted by a full day bus trip. Sigh. Still, some stretches aren't out of the question.
-Pocket's never had much faith in his future self. I guess you have to build that slowly too.