For a chance at loving you, I'd take it all the way.

[oneeyedchicklet]

I'm really really bad at this whole thing.
I have so many amazing people I could be with..
And Im not like.. bragging about that..
I'm mostly just pointing out my stupidity.

Why do I always go crazy for the ones I feel inferior to?
Eh.. never mind, I do know..
Ive had this conversation with Somer..
It makes you feel like extra special when he's this center of attention, hard ass guy paying attention to you..
But yeah, thats super cool when it lasts a whole day..
And then they decide that they just like the chase.. or just like flirting..
But here's the thing.. All these great guys like go out of their way to do special things for me.. buy me a fucking ds, walk me to my door, watch five hours of buffy just because they know it's what I want to do..

I'm no good for guys.
Seriously.
I'm the same as those guys who like the chase.
I have absolutely no room to complain about leading people on.
But its really not me trying to lead people on..
Im almost like making myself try to feel more for them? I don't know.
I love being around them, and I really do appreciate everything, but I'm just stupid.
I'm seriously treated like a fucking princess.. why can't I be happy with that?
Maybe Im still just really not ready to settle down..
But I so do not want these people out of my life..
Gah.
You can't help who you're attracted to..
But I don't understand why I'm not attracted to some of these people.

I'm such a typical girl.