i dont wanna grow up....

[onedaymore]

Wow, I can't believe I'm almost done with school. Only 5 days left, and then graduation. This is the one thing I've been waiting forever for, and now that it's finally happening I have some majorly mixed emotions. On one hand I can't wait to get out of that hell hole that they call high school, and on the other hand i'm as scared as a 14 year old about to start high school. The safety and reliability of high school will be gone. I will be alone, in a different state, living with someone other than my fam, and completely responsible for myself. It's and exhilirating thought, to have all this freedom that I dream about. To be able to do what I want, when I want is awesome. But, I'm scared I'm going to miss everyone, and my family. 18 does seem young to be leaving the nest, but everyone does it, and I'm sure most have the same thoughts that I have running through my head right now. Everything is just going to be so open, and crazy and different. And, even though I'm scared, I wish it was September cause I just wanna start and get the first few days over and done with, and then be happy. I am really excited about Orientation coming up in a few weeks and also for the Leadership camp. It will give me my first taste of college, and that's exciting.

You gotta love where my mind goes late at night when I'm the only one awake in my big, quiet house. My mind wanders and just goes down some crazy thought processes. Prolly ones that I shouldn't be thinking right now. But hey, you can't really stop it right?

I need a life.

And I wanna go work out again. I feel the NEED to excercise. I feel the NEED to lose weight. I feel the NEED to be fitter and healthier. Damn YMCA only being open till 10.

I really need a life.