Apr 05, 2009 21:34
it's been a while since i've written on here, but i'm starting to feel a lot better about things.
i have the quarterlife crisis book to thank to that. weird to say, but it's true. i was really panicked and stressed about everything going on in life right now- hating my job, wanting to move, not knowing if i was in school or not, just sick of waiting for things to not be so hard. then, over spring break, i read this book called quarterlife crisis: a guide to navigating your early 20s. it didn't solve any of the problems that i had, it didn't all of a sudden give me any earth shattering realizations, or offer to change my life. allit did was let me know that i'm not the only one terrified about these things. everyone has doubts, trouble making decisions, and all that. i think all i needed to know is that i wasn't the only one that felt like they couldn't get it together.
add to that that i'm talking to my parents about their worries about what i'm doing. i hate that they made it seem like i was quitting my job to become a dancer or circus performer, instead of getting a graduate degree. i gave my mom some information today about what i'm going to be doing, how the job market is steady, and how the program i'm going into is going to let me try lots of different parts of the field- they're not territorial with grad assistants like HCC is with departments...ugh. i'll get to experience a lot more, and find out what i like and don't like. i need the flexibility, and i think i'm going to get it. and thankfully, hopefully, won't have to worry that my parents think i've screwed it all up.
that being said, i'm reevaluating the moving situation. i am really starting to feel like it's time. it's going to be a struggle, i'm sure, but i'm outgrowing my confines in my house and it's claustrophobic and uncomfortable. i think i'm going to need my own space soon. maybe i'll try to stick it out here in the fall, and then try to move out in spring. i'm going to be poor, i know this, but that's part of your 20s. not having money for anything. and as responsible with my finances as i try to be, i think i can make it work for myself.
feeling better about moving forward. FINALLY.