just tired.
after a weekend in savannah, which was a lot of fun but also work, i'm just tired.
and i'm finding more and more that, as i get more tired, things matter less.
i'm not sure how i like that.
when it's things i'm worried about, i don't mind not caring about them.
in the strictest sense, i probably shouldn't care about them anyway. but the personality i have makes me a worrier.
good for details, bad for mental health. it's a tradeoff!
but when it comes down to dismissing people, and starting to prioritize where projects come before friends, i don't like that.
yes, in some cases, they have to, but I don't want to be the person to make that call. i care about my friends, and don't want anything to be a priority above them.
maybe this doesn't make any sense. i just know that something doesn't feel right, and i'm not sure i like it.
and as if that weren't enough, things with kemper are off-kilter again.
no, we are not dating again. we have gone out since we broke up, and generally have been speaking a few times a week. i took my time off from that situation, and came back with more perspective on it. but now he's the one that's not talking. i'm not used to that. i think because it's been close to a year (!) where us talking once a week has been normal, to not hear from him every few days is odd. in any case, i'm not sure if it's because something's wrong, or if it's circumstancial. and in true amma form, that uncertainty is making me crazy.
*sigh*
maybe after western week at work is over, this will all feel less urgent.
this is what not having a weekend off does to me, it would appear.
bedtime. going for a run in the morning to work this all out ::points to brain:: up here.
and i'm finding more and more that, as i get more tired, things matter less.
i'm not sure how i like that.
when it's things i'm worried about, i don't mind not caring about them.
in the strictest sense, i probably shouldn't care about them anyway. but the personality i have makes me a worrier.
good for details, bad for mental health. it's a tradeoff!
but when it comes down to dismissing people, and starting to prioritize where projects come before friends, i don't like that.
yes, in some cases, they have to, but I don't want to be the person to make that call. i care about my friends, and don't want anything to be a priority above them.
maybe this doesn't make any sense. i just know that something doesn't feel right, and i'm not sure i like it.
and as if that weren't enough, things with kemper are off-kilter again.
no, we are not dating again. we have gone out since we broke up, and generally have been speaking a few times a week. i took my time off from that situation, and came back with more perspective on it. but now he's the one that's not talking. i'm not used to that. i think because it's been close to a year (!) where us talking once a week has been normal, to not hear from him every few days is odd. in any case, i'm not sure if it's because something's wrong, or if it's circumstancial. and in true amma form, that uncertainty is making me crazy.
*sigh*
maybe after western week at work is over, this will all feel less urgent.
this is what not having a weekend off does to me, it would appear.
bedtime. going for a run in the morning to work this all out ::points to brain:: up here.