I'm Still Around....Sort Of
As the title says, I am still around. An explanation and a sort-of rant below read as much or as little as you'd like.
For those of you who are not aware, I suffer from severe anxiety and from moderate depression. My anxiety has been on the down swing with the various medications I've been on for a couple months but my depression has been on the upswing. One of the main indicators that I'm slipping into a deeper depression is the loss of interest in the things that normally occupy me. I finally went to the doctor today about it because I haven't been able to read more than a couple pages of any book at a time. That is huge for me. I am one of those people that wander around with at least one book on the go, usually more. Since the advent of kobo, kindle, and wattpad apps plus the lovely internet, I rarely carry around physical books but I still read whenever I have a moment. When I realized that nothing was keeping my interest, even you lovely folks and your wonderful stories here, I admitted I needed help and took myself off to the doctor.
I'm on a brand new medication, along with the wonderful anti-anxieties I'm on (and I'm serious about them being wonderful, the ball of stress and yuck in my tummy is down to a marble size instead of the cannon ball size it usually is). For the next couple weeks it will be a battle of getting motivation to do things (I've been spending most of my time in bed) and getting used to a new med. Fun, yay (this is the sarcasm here).
I am still planning on finishing the A to Z, no matter how long it takes me. I have ideas they just won't go from my brain to my fingers and therefore, the internet. I also will get back to the three musketeers, Teddy and Cal soon. Another indication that my depression has been acting up...
On a good note, my friend Cindy had her CT-scan (CAT scan, whatever it's actually called) and it came back clean. We're all very, very relieved. The doctor is thinking her migraines are caused by cluster headaches....yeah I have no idea... but they've put them off to the side for the moment to do all the lovely cancer screenings since her birth father recently died from cancer (he had colon, stomach and liver cancer), but they are still working on finding a solution to the pain of the migraines.
Her mom is doing as well as can be. She is slowly getting worse but that's to be expected as they said she probably only had a year or so left.
My cousin's husband is back in the ICU, not for any major reason, just because they took him out too early (which the nurses all said but the hospitals are pushing to get people out as early as possible to save money...the usual). He's more alert and such but still has a lot of junk in his chest that they are working to clear out before anything else.
My cousin's son (the one with the husband in ICU) has his confirmation on my birthday (June 8) so I might actually do something for my birthday this year. Or, at least, pretend that it's for me and not him. Cindy thinks I should just ditch the family thing and do something else since my cousin was asking everyone else at the table if they were coming while I was standing there and then half an hour later went 'oh yeah, Tina. Did you want to come?'. I felt very much like a last minute thought or as if she felt she had to ask since I was there... I still have a bit to decide.
My other cousin's daughter has set her wedding for this August. Maybe my parents and my sister will come down and I'll see them. My sister should come as it is her god-daughter but who knows. The groom is from England and still has a year left of school there, the bride is getting her hairdressing license here and still has another year to go as well. They'll be separate for the first year of their marriage, although they've been a mostly long distance relationship so far so it's not like it'll make a difference. I'm surprised they aren't waiting another year and getting married when they are able to be together. They both are training for jobs that are easy to pick up and take along (I don't remember off hand what he's doing) so they will probably stay in Canada long enough for him to get his citizenship then head to England so she can get hers then spend time in both Canada and England since they'll both have dual citizenship.
For those of you who are not aware, I suffer from severe anxiety and from moderate depression. My anxiety has been on the down swing with the various medications I've been on for a couple months but my depression has been on the upswing. One of the main indicators that I'm slipping into a deeper depression is the loss of interest in the things that normally occupy me. I finally went to the doctor today about it because I haven't been able to read more than a couple pages of any book at a time. That is huge for me. I am one of those people that wander around with at least one book on the go, usually more. Since the advent of kobo, kindle, and wattpad apps plus the lovely internet, I rarely carry around physical books but I still read whenever I have a moment. When I realized that nothing was keeping my interest, even you lovely folks and your wonderful stories here, I admitted I needed help and took myself off to the doctor.
I'm on a brand new medication, along with the wonderful anti-anxieties I'm on (and I'm serious about them being wonderful, the ball of stress and yuck in my tummy is down to a marble size instead of the cannon ball size it usually is). For the next couple weeks it will be a battle of getting motivation to do things (I've been spending most of my time in bed) and getting used to a new med. Fun, yay (this is the sarcasm here).
I am still planning on finishing the A to Z, no matter how long it takes me. I have ideas they just won't go from my brain to my fingers and therefore, the internet. I also will get back to the three musketeers, Teddy and Cal soon. Another indication that my depression has been acting up...
On a good note, my friend Cindy had her CT-scan (CAT scan, whatever it's actually called) and it came back clean. We're all very, very relieved. The doctor is thinking her migraines are caused by cluster headaches....yeah I have no idea... but they've put them off to the side for the moment to do all the lovely cancer screenings since her birth father recently died from cancer (he had colon, stomach and liver cancer), but they are still working on finding a solution to the pain of the migraines.
Her mom is doing as well as can be. She is slowly getting worse but that's to be expected as they said she probably only had a year or so left.
My cousin's husband is back in the ICU, not for any major reason, just because they took him out too early (which the nurses all said but the hospitals are pushing to get people out as early as possible to save money...the usual). He's more alert and such but still has a lot of junk in his chest that they are working to clear out before anything else.
My cousin's son (the one with the husband in ICU) has his confirmation on my birthday (June 8) so I might actually do something for my birthday this year. Or, at least, pretend that it's for me and not him. Cindy thinks I should just ditch the family thing and do something else since my cousin was asking everyone else at the table if they were coming while I was standing there and then half an hour later went 'oh yeah, Tina. Did you want to come?'. I felt very much like a last minute thought or as if she felt she had to ask since I was there... I still have a bit to decide.
My other cousin's daughter has set her wedding for this August. Maybe my parents and my sister will come down and I'll see them. My sister should come as it is her god-daughter but who knows. The groom is from England and still has a year left of school there, the bride is getting her hairdressing license here and still has another year to go as well. They'll be separate for the first year of their marriage, although they've been a mostly long distance relationship so far so it's not like it'll make a difference. I'm surprised they aren't waiting another year and getting married when they are able to be together. They both are training for jobs that are easy to pick up and take along (I don't remember off hand what he's doing) so they will probably stay in Canada long enough for him to get his citizenship then head to England so she can get hers then spend time in both Canada and England since they'll both have dual citizenship.