If it were not for modern society Ben would be dead.
I knew when my roommate Ben said he was going to "cook dinner" I knew there would be a story.
His plan: something like Chinese food. Basically cooked chicken on top of rice. No sauce, no vegetables, just rice and chicken. Precooked chicken from Tyson.
BUT he's out of rice... I offer him my rice; long grain basmati rice I get in a 2lb. bag from Aldi.
He takes one look at it and half jokingly says, "Oh! How do I work this?"
I tell him, "It's rice. It's usually one cup water to one cup rice or something like that. It's on the back of the bag."
I go into my room.
He must have looked at the chart, but not read the words, because the next few exchanges wouldn't have happened if he did.
After a few minutes Ben comes into my room and asks, "Um... How do you drain the rice without the rice grains going through the holes in the strainer?"
"It's a colander, and you won't need it. The rice should absorb most all the water."
"Oh! I normally buy rice that's in a bag and you just cook it in the bag."
"Weird; never seen that."
A bit later I come out of my room and sit on the couch with Ben, watching TV.
He says, "Your rice sure does foam over a lot."
"It's rice. Starch in the water will make it foam, only pure water wouldn't foam up. Just turn it down and put the lid on."
"Oh no! I'm not putting the lid on! That's what makes it foam over."
"..."
He goes in an stirs the rice around and walks back out.
"Is the rice going to swell up, like, double huge?" holding his fingers about a centimeter apart.
"IT'S REGULAR FUCKING RICE!" I snap back.
At this point Ben kind of looks down, goes back into the kitchen, and stops asking me about the nature of Earth's most common food stuff.
I don't know how to sum this up other than this is one more example of Ben being Ben. Peter and Jen Gall thought it was hilarious when I told them.
His plan: something like Chinese food. Basically cooked chicken on top of rice. No sauce, no vegetables, just rice and chicken. Precooked chicken from Tyson.
BUT he's out of rice... I offer him my rice; long grain basmati rice I get in a 2lb. bag from Aldi.
He takes one look at it and half jokingly says, "Oh! How do I work this?"
I tell him, "It's rice. It's usually one cup water to one cup rice or something like that. It's on the back of the bag."
I go into my room.
He must have looked at the chart, but not read the words, because the next few exchanges wouldn't have happened if he did.
After a few minutes Ben comes into my room and asks, "Um... How do you drain the rice without the rice grains going through the holes in the strainer?"
"It's a colander, and you won't need it. The rice should absorb most all the water."
"Oh! I normally buy rice that's in a bag and you just cook it in the bag."
"Weird; never seen that."
A bit later I come out of my room and sit on the couch with Ben, watching TV.
He says, "Your rice sure does foam over a lot."
"It's rice. Starch in the water will make it foam, only pure water wouldn't foam up. Just turn it down and put the lid on."
"Oh no! I'm not putting the lid on! That's what makes it foam over."
"..."
He goes in an stirs the rice around and walks back out.
"Is the rice going to swell up, like, double huge?" holding his fingers about a centimeter apart.
"IT'S REGULAR FUCKING RICE!" I snap back.
At this point Ben kind of looks down, goes back into the kitchen, and stops asking me about the nature of Earth's most common food stuff.
I don't know how to sum this up other than this is one more example of Ben being Ben. Peter and Jen Gall thought it was hilarious when I told them.