Moving on Literally?
I was leaving my uncle's house today after giving him some help after his knee surgery when it hit me...I only have ten days left. It was a wierd feeling of panic; yet, I had complete control over it. I just kept on walking knowing that part of me was flipping out; yet I was utterly calm. I'm not sure if my body is pushing the panic down, which makes me worry about it exploding(prolly in a public place), or if I really am just dealing with it. Everyone says I'll change after this experience, but what they don't know is that I already am changing.
As I prepare to move on out of this life and into another life yet unknown( no not the afterlife, Paraguay) I find more than my physical self preparing to leave. My mind and heart is also tying up loose ends with or without my consent. As of my recent crush, only slight ebbs of remeberance remain. I can't say I am sad about this as it was putting a slight damper on my departure. What I really care about is how my mind takes charge over the goodbyes to people I love and have known for sometime now.
I have cried about a dozen times in the past two weeks with friends about the upcoming two years then suddenly today I said goodbye, maybe not to them but to myself. To leave them for so long is impossible; I have to leave a piece of me here, the piece that craves their very existance.