...And I will tear your wall down one fucking brick at a time...
This week was pretty busy, to say the least. I had a biology midterm exam on Friday. I had originally planned to start studying on Tuesday and/or Wednesday night but that didn't happen because my computer went to hell and I was left without one for a couple days and couldn't print off some notes. So, I bought a new one and it cost me $1300 because I suck. Now I am broke, thus I couldn't go to Straylight Run on Friday but I won't get into that because it saddens me. Anyways, back to the bio exam thing. I started studying at 3am on Friday morning. Did that till 5am. Went to bed. Woke up at 11am. Went to school. Read some stuff on the bus and before the exam. And wow. Good thing that exam was easy, it was such a relief. I also had an essay assigned in my social science class like two weeks ago and it is due on Tuesday in tutorial. Have I started yet? Absolutely not. Why? Because I am a faggot and I enjoy loafting/procrastinating. Lastly, I have a psychology midterm exam on Monday. It is now 1:51am on Sunday and I have not started studying. I am EFFING screwed, damnit! But on a lighter note...
I never want to leave the state that I am in now. I am content. I am full. I am ecstatic. I feel like I can dance circles around everyone because I am walking on the lightest feet I have ever had the experience to walk on. The butterflies that are constantely fluttering around in my stomach lift me higher than I have ever been. If only this feeling could last forever. I wish it would. I hope it could. I want this more than ever. He should tell me that he needs me as much as I need him. He should tell me that he wants me as much as I want him. He should tell me that I make his heart as happy as he does mine. He should tell me that he wants to call me his and him mine - because this would ease the impulses sent from my heart to my brain which are difficult to speak of. I know he is thinking the same. I know he is burdened by the same haunting thoughts, the same haunting scenarios, the same haunting fears. We've both been subjected to broken hearts and days of sleeping on a tear stained pillow, but it's important to love like you've never been hurt because I've come to learn that a heartache makes you more aware of what you should have, what you'd be happy with, and what you will spend your days to find so that you can live the life everyone wants to live. I was fortunate enough to have recognized this quicker than I had imagined I would. He should tell me that he'd give me a chance because I am worth the risk, because damn. He sure is worth any risk. Hands held together. Tightly. Forever. I'd never let go as it is impossible for me to hurt another being made of the same elements as me - blood, sweat, guts and tears. I would dedicate my days to making him smile, making sure he was satiated with glee. Never before have I wished on every star for the same simple thing, but I don't have it yet so I guess it is not so simple for me to achieve, or maybe my lucky stars aren't so lucky, or possibly they believe I don't need the luck my insecurity wishes I had. I am nothing but a sweetheart, I wouldn't let him fall apart - and if that ever happened, I'd sew him back together along with the pieces of his heart because I would never let it ache. I could never let it ache. With every second that he's gone, I miss him even more. Surviving a week of his absence will be like surviving a week in the utmost hell. However, a long wait can let my heart strings sing louder and maybe when he comes back, he will hear them and reply with his own melody making us just one more cute and catchy song played on the radio of our hearts. I look forward to seeing that bright smile again because nothing makes my heart happier than to witness such beauty and honesty as well as hear that fucking cute as hell giggle that puts me into hypnosis. I can't wait to hear his voice again and stay up all night long listening to his week experiences and how much I will wish I had been right there with him - and maybe, if I am lucky, hear him say the words I long to here: "You belong with me. You're everything I need. You make me happy. Now, don't you ever leave because from now on, I am calling you mine," but all I can do is wait and pray. I am nothing but nervous. I can't wait to feel his arms wrapped around my waist again because nothing has ever felt so right, so comfortable, so enchanting. He mesmorizes me. Absolutely amazing. Absolutely nothing. Absolutely fabulous. Absolutely sure. I've absolutely fallen.
I never want to leave the state that I am in now. I am content. I am full. I am ecstatic. I feel like I can dance circles around everyone because I am walking on the lightest feet I have ever had the experience to walk on. The butterflies that are constantely fluttering around in my stomach lift me higher than I have ever been. If only this feeling could last forever. I wish it would. I hope it could. I want this more than ever. He should tell me that he needs me as much as I need him. He should tell me that he wants me as much as I want him. He should tell me that I make his heart as happy as he does mine. He should tell me that he wants to call me his and him mine - because this would ease the impulses sent from my heart to my brain which are difficult to speak of. I know he is thinking the same. I know he is burdened by the same haunting thoughts, the same haunting scenarios, the same haunting fears. We've both been subjected to broken hearts and days of sleeping on a tear stained pillow, but it's important to love like you've never been hurt because I've come to learn that a heartache makes you more aware of what you should have, what you'd be happy with, and what you will spend your days to find so that you can live the life everyone wants to live. I was fortunate enough to have recognized this quicker than I had imagined I would. He should tell me that he'd give me a chance because I am worth the risk, because damn. He sure is worth any risk. Hands held together. Tightly. Forever. I'd never let go as it is impossible for me to hurt another being made of the same elements as me - blood, sweat, guts and tears. I would dedicate my days to making him smile, making sure he was satiated with glee. Never before have I wished on every star for the same simple thing, but I don't have it yet so I guess it is not so simple for me to achieve, or maybe my lucky stars aren't so lucky, or possibly they believe I don't need the luck my insecurity wishes I had. I am nothing but a sweetheart, I wouldn't let him fall apart - and if that ever happened, I'd sew him back together along with the pieces of his heart because I would never let it ache. I could never let it ache. With every second that he's gone, I miss him even more. Surviving a week of his absence will be like surviving a week in the utmost hell. However, a long wait can let my heart strings sing louder and maybe when he comes back, he will hear them and reply with his own melody making us just one more cute and catchy song played on the radio of our hearts. I look forward to seeing that bright smile again because nothing makes my heart happier than to witness such beauty and honesty as well as hear that fucking cute as hell giggle that puts me into hypnosis. I can't wait to hear his voice again and stay up all night long listening to his week experiences and how much I will wish I had been right there with him - and maybe, if I am lucky, hear him say the words I long to here: "You belong with me. You're everything I need. You make me happy. Now, don't you ever leave because from now on, I am calling you mine," but all I can do is wait and pray. I am nothing but nervous. I can't wait to feel his arms wrapped around my waist again because nothing has ever felt so right, so comfortable, so enchanting. He mesmorizes me. Absolutely amazing. Absolutely nothing. Absolutely fabulous. Absolutely sure. I've absolutely fallen.