(no subject)
Great, here we go again...Why do you always have to screw with my head?!
You disappeared from my life for a few months. I finally had reached the point where I was over everything. Not over our friendship, but I was over everything that had happened between us. I was finally at the point where I wasn't thinking about you anymore, wondering what had happened. I had finally gotten to the point where the loss of a friend wasn't so painful for me.
And then what happened? You showed up again.
Not only do you show up, but what you said completely crossed the line of what is appropriate and what isn't. Your words undermined everything that you had told me and everything that I had convinced myself was true. I had talked myself into believing when, more like if, I ever talked to you again, or heaven forbid if I ever I saw you again, everything would be purely platonic. On both ends, not just mine as it had been in the past.
And then there was that conversation. Whether it was just a joke or not, it was wrong and it crossed the line. From what I know about your past and what you've told me about your thoughts at JMU, that conversation made me wonder if I can trust you anymore. You've screwed with my head enough times, and I'm not sure how much more I can take.
But for some reason, I guess it's just my nature, I just can't seem to move on and get over everything and let you go. Despite what my friends tell me, I can't seem to just isolate you and take you out of my life. I want to believe that you're a different type of person than what they've been telling me. But I just don't know how many chances I can give you. I've already given you more than other people that I've known for longer...
I just don't know what to do about this...