a wierd dream

[onebadrussian]

well..i'm not sure i've told very many people about me and andra. there was somethin there but we couldn't be because of our race, stupid yes? she is romanian and i am russian. her parents didn't like russians, and my parents were not for a relationship with a romanian. we met in a class our sophmore year and ever since i left interlake after that year, there was some sparks floating betweean us we were off and on throghout junior year and then finally near the end of senior year she shut me off completely. I wanted to become somthing more than friends. I was in love with this girl and it was for all the right reasons. She is the only girl that passed all of my requirements...and i thought that i was finally getting passed her. even though i did have occasional flash backs and thoughts of her. but those were just bringing me back painfull thoughts and feelings. so anyways... she cut me off cold turkey didn't even want to be friends. that day was the first time i cried in years. now that you have the history..... two nights back, i had a dream. i dreampt that i was at a church. then the church got out and i was heading to the car. And then all of a sudden out of the blue she's there running towards me and then embraces me. there is only one other experience where i felt that good, and that was when i felt Gods warm embrace for the first time.. so this was way the heck up there. and the only things coming from her mouth were i'm sorry i'm sorry. and then i said i'm sorry. then i woke up...what does this mean? I don't even know if she still thinks about me. all i know is i'm miseralbe.. she's the only girl that i've loved
this much.. and to tell ya the truth.. i don't think i'll ever find another one like her. she was my ten.. and i fell real hard. so now i'm lost, i don't know what to do... why do girls have to torture me so?