angst

[one_user_less]

i spent all my money on nothing.
now, with this useless goblet of excess,
i'm toasting complete strangers
who only happen to be sexy.

faces should come with masks.
it's more honest that way.
don't let them get your soul.
my what? exactly.

i don't know how it feels to be armless
and that really bothers me.
i can't sympathize with the blind.
but we all know how it feels to be ugly.

i drive to work on the fumes of my ambitions.
there was a chubby boy who liked to commit arson,
who grew up on sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll.
i want to shake him now. were we ever beautiful?

i bought bubble gum thinking that every clam
has a pearl but there was no pearl
and i'm afraid people and the future
might turn out the same way. chewed up, no pearl.

if i ate only organic fair-trade, would i feel this way?
i need to get down into the leather of human skin again, see its eyes.
the proliferation of parking lots is disenchanting.
i know i didn't feel this way as a child.

am i being remotely dulled by some cosmic ray?
or has the water washed over me one too many times?
i swipe my card, i check my messages. no one called.
i create no masterpieces but i feel okay about that

because the bar is so low
and though no apocalypse so far as i've heard,
the sense that one is coming
still hangs thick.