It's Alive!!!!
"In writing, habit seems to be a much stronger force than either will power or inspiration." ~John Steinbeck
Okay. John Steinbeck. A guy that definitely knew whereof he spoke. So I just need to get into the habit of writing something on a regular basis. Anything, doesn't have to be "War And Peace" (which I know is not by Steinbeck, it's just an example of something really, really long.) Trying to get rid of all-or-nothing thinking in other areas of my life, will do it here too. Change my mind and change my life, right? Writing will help me get out of these doldrums I've been in, help me get back on track.
Hmmm....**looks around** Definitely want to do something about the look of this journal. Learn to customize. Learn to do some of that stuff I've seen in the Flexible Squares community. But I need to remember I don't have to get it all perfect before I make entries. And I'll re-do my user-info, including the bio, but I won't wait until I've done that to make entries. And I'll remember that this is my journal and I can write about whatever I want, it doesn't have to be of earth-shattering importance to other people. Hell, I once read an entry on someone's LJ about how she didn't like salmon.
I like salmon. Especially smoked salmon that's kind of like jerky. Phillip (my husband, in case anyone's reading this) says he's heard it called squaw candy, though I'm thinking that's not the actual, culturally sensitive name. I want to move out of the fucking desert and move back to the Pacific Northwest where there's lots of salmon, among other things. Trees, open water, green everywhere. Flowers growing no one planted. The Aurora Borealis. Hell, I might catch my own salmon if I can get Phillip to clean it. Or I could learn to clean my own. I'm an Alaskan, though one 18 years removed. Maybe more importantly I'm a Nanny. If I can clean up the various gross excretions of small children, what are fish guts compared to that? I can handle a 2 yr. old having a screaming, hitting, biting, kicking tantrum. I have Super-Nanny powers. I can fucking do anything. I can move to Washington. Phillip and I can get our own piece of land, build our own house, our own art business, have our own kids. **Am starting to feel affirmed**
I can write fic again! I can learn to write porn! All kinds of porn, including that really weird shit that lives in my head! Hell, since this is my journal I can write more poetry that nobody else cares about and post it here. I can even post some of my old Star Trek poetry, then if I reach out and connect up with ST fandom someone might actually read it.That might be cool. (Hey, I've had success in the past with my ST poetry. I was the unofficial poet laureate of my ST club back in the day. How I met my husband.)
Though I don't feel any new ST stuff forthcoming. My brain seems all due South-ish these days. If I get my writing juices all flowing again, remember not to be so afraid of failure (remember that on-line fandom is like vaudeville, it's a great place to be bad while you're learning) maybe I'll finish and post that DS poetry I have in the green folder on my desk. That would definitely fall under the heading of poetry nobody else cares about:) Maybe I'll get back to work on that DS/Tam Lin story that probably nobody else would care about because it contains bits of poetry. Speaking of poetry, this entire entry reminds me of a phrase from one of my poems, "evil stream of consciousness." (In that it's one long ramble, not that I think it's particularly evil.) But hey, I'm writing! I'll worry about the other stuff later.
Okay. John Steinbeck. A guy that definitely knew whereof he spoke. So I just need to get into the habit of writing something on a regular basis. Anything, doesn't have to be "War And Peace" (which I know is not by Steinbeck, it's just an example of something really, really long.) Trying to get rid of all-or-nothing thinking in other areas of my life, will do it here too. Change my mind and change my life, right? Writing will help me get out of these doldrums I've been in, help me get back on track.
Hmmm....**looks around** Definitely want to do something about the look of this journal. Learn to customize. Learn to do some of that stuff I've seen in the Flexible Squares community. But I need to remember I don't have to get it all perfect before I make entries. And I'll re-do my user-info, including the bio, but I won't wait until I've done that to make entries. And I'll remember that this is my journal and I can write about whatever I want, it doesn't have to be of earth-shattering importance to other people. Hell, I once read an entry on someone's LJ about how she didn't like salmon.
I like salmon. Especially smoked salmon that's kind of like jerky. Phillip (my husband, in case anyone's reading this) says he's heard it called squaw candy, though I'm thinking that's not the actual, culturally sensitive name. I want to move out of the fucking desert and move back to the Pacific Northwest where there's lots of salmon, among other things. Trees, open water, green everywhere. Flowers growing no one planted. The Aurora Borealis. Hell, I might catch my own salmon if I can get Phillip to clean it. Or I could learn to clean my own. I'm an Alaskan, though one 18 years removed. Maybe more importantly I'm a Nanny. If I can clean up the various gross excretions of small children, what are fish guts compared to that? I can handle a 2 yr. old having a screaming, hitting, biting, kicking tantrum. I have Super-Nanny powers. I can fucking do anything. I can move to Washington. Phillip and I can get our own piece of land, build our own house, our own art business, have our own kids. **Am starting to feel affirmed**
I can write fic again! I can learn to write porn! All kinds of porn, including that really weird shit that lives in my head! Hell, since this is my journal I can write more poetry that nobody else cares about and post it here. I can even post some of my old Star Trek poetry, then if I reach out and connect up with ST fandom someone might actually read it.That might be cool. (Hey, I've had success in the past with my ST poetry. I was the unofficial poet laureate of my ST club back in the day. How I met my husband.)
Though I don't feel any new ST stuff forthcoming. My brain seems all due South-ish these days. If I get my writing juices all flowing again, remember not to be so afraid of failure (remember that on-line fandom is like vaudeville, it's a great place to be bad while you're learning) maybe I'll finish and post that DS poetry I have in the green folder on my desk. That would definitely fall under the heading of poetry nobody else cares about:) Maybe I'll get back to work on that DS/Tam Lin story that probably nobody else would care about because it contains bits of poetry. Speaking of poetry, this entire entry reminds me of a phrase from one of my poems, "evil stream of consciousness." (In that it's one long ramble, not that I think it's particularly evil.) But hey, I'm writing! I'll worry about the other stuff later.