long time no see
well. I'm avoiding doing nutrition homework. well not homework but studying. I hate that class, it's seriously one of the biggest mistakes I've made this semesters.
I'm watching the Grease you're the one I want show. Seriously can't tell the girl's voices apart. I don't really know what to do with that. The guys however... fantastic.
A lot has gone on in my life lately. I had a wonderful spring break, it was fantastic to do nothing. I got to relax and hang out with my parents, my family from out of town, my boyfriend, and myself. I had been going straight everyday since December. Work and school. Now after the week off, I'm back in the groove and don't want to be back. I'm not really sure that anyone wants to be. It's rough, I have been in the process of getting back in the groove all week long and next week BAM! three exams. and a paper the week after. I'm so ready for summer. I have decided to take the summer off and work and do something great. I decided not to go to summer school for the first time since my freshman year in highschool. I deserve a summer. I do.
On another note, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'll have to explain later. But I will get it solved tomorrow.
I've dealt with a lot of emotions in the past 3 months. Mostly with my life, my jobs, my romance, and my friends. I think for the time being I'm okay with where I am. That will change, most definitely in the months to come. Crying has been a new thing for me, I'm doing it more often. Not sure how I feel about it. It's always Brett who has to see me. I usually feel bad afterwards. I wanted to be the strong one, I guess I can't.
I have hopes for me. I hope that I will be able to tell myself that I'm happy. I haven't been able to do that, I can remember everytime I have said "I don't have any emotions anymore". I think that where I work really takes that out of me. I've had many animals die in my hands. In my hands... it's sobering. But it doesn't hit me anymore. It's sad. I'll get there.
I have come to know a few people in greater depth which is awesome. Thanks Keith for being there for me and the girls, they don't know about this, but I thank them anyway. It's nice to just have a hug from someone when I get home.
I'm becoming a stronger person when it comes to my love. It's really hard for me not to see him as much. It makes me not want to live all the way down here, but I know it's the best for me right now. I just about died last night, Brett called me from academy. One of those calls where your heart drops, I almost dropped the phone. It wasn't him, but what if? I have to be strong. He is going into one of the hardest, physical, and mental jobs that there are out there. It's so hard for me not to be able to understand what he is going through. He's a much better person than me, he can do it. He can do anything. I watched Ladder 49 for the second time. The first time I saw it with him in the theaters. I remembered walking out and grabbing him by the arm and told him to promise me not to become a firefighter. Fate stepped in. And the second time I watched it, I sat there in silence with tears streaming down my face. It's one of the hardest feelings to describe. I want to spend my life with this boy. It will be so difficult.
those are my thoughts right now.
It's raining and its cold and I love it. I had a good night at work. I love Old Navy. They love me there. I miss it, and look forward to working there this summer.
Thats it for now. For the two people I know who read this. ha. okay good night.
I'm watching the Grease you're the one I want show. Seriously can't tell the girl's voices apart. I don't really know what to do with that. The guys however... fantastic.
A lot has gone on in my life lately. I had a wonderful spring break, it was fantastic to do nothing. I got to relax and hang out with my parents, my family from out of town, my boyfriend, and myself. I had been going straight everyday since December. Work and school. Now after the week off, I'm back in the groove and don't want to be back. I'm not really sure that anyone wants to be. It's rough, I have been in the process of getting back in the groove all week long and next week BAM! three exams. and a paper the week after. I'm so ready for summer. I have decided to take the summer off and work and do something great. I decided not to go to summer school for the first time since my freshman year in highschool. I deserve a summer. I do.
On another note, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'll have to explain later. But I will get it solved tomorrow.
I've dealt with a lot of emotions in the past 3 months. Mostly with my life, my jobs, my romance, and my friends. I think for the time being I'm okay with where I am. That will change, most definitely in the months to come. Crying has been a new thing for me, I'm doing it more often. Not sure how I feel about it. It's always Brett who has to see me. I usually feel bad afterwards. I wanted to be the strong one, I guess I can't.
I have hopes for me. I hope that I will be able to tell myself that I'm happy. I haven't been able to do that, I can remember everytime I have said "I don't have any emotions anymore". I think that where I work really takes that out of me. I've had many animals die in my hands. In my hands... it's sobering. But it doesn't hit me anymore. It's sad. I'll get there.
I have come to know a few people in greater depth which is awesome. Thanks Keith for being there for me and the girls, they don't know about this, but I thank them anyway. It's nice to just have a hug from someone when I get home.
I'm becoming a stronger person when it comes to my love. It's really hard for me not to see him as much. It makes me not want to live all the way down here, but I know it's the best for me right now. I just about died last night, Brett called me from academy. One of those calls where your heart drops, I almost dropped the phone. It wasn't him, but what if? I have to be strong. He is going into one of the hardest, physical, and mental jobs that there are out there. It's so hard for me not to be able to understand what he is going through. He's a much better person than me, he can do it. He can do anything. I watched Ladder 49 for the second time. The first time I saw it with him in the theaters. I remembered walking out and grabbing him by the arm and told him to promise me not to become a firefighter. Fate stepped in. And the second time I watched it, I sat there in silence with tears streaming down my face. It's one of the hardest feelings to describe. I want to spend my life with this boy. It will be so difficult.
those are my thoughts right now.
It's raining and its cold and I love it. I had a good night at work. I love Old Navy. They love me there. I miss it, and look forward to working there this summer.
Thats it for now. For the two people I know who read this. ha. okay good night.