(no subject)
coming to terms with losing my grandfather is, as everyone knows, going to be really hard. hell, i'm almost twenty four & i'm still not really over the fact that my parents got divorced four years ago. i'm pretty bad at accepting change in my life all together, but i'm slowly getting better. i think the fact that i rarely see people helps & hurts at the same time. it gives me the often much needed opportunities to clear my head of any of the day to day bullshit that builds up. but, on the other hand, having all that alone time tends to build up problems of its own. i'm just one of those maladjusted people, you know? always sort of miserable with everything at hand, but content that i'm breathing & have a group (if even a small one) of people who love & care for me. & for that, i'm thankful. i'm gracious that i have two loving parents, & a stepmonster that loves me, too. i should feel more than blessed to have had even one set of grandparents that showered me with all the love & attention i could have ever wanted. its now my turn to make sure my nana gets all the attention, respect, & help that she has deserved all these years. maybe, in the mean time, my mom can go more than a day without fighting about something retarded. & maybe i can see my dad more often & make him realize how much he means to me. i hope he knows.
for christmas, the one thing i'd really like is to be with all my friends, in one place if possible, having a good time. i miss everyone immensely & i wish we could all still be together with each other. maybe i should try to arrange something. yet, last time i had a party, the only people that came were from cullman, so i guess i'm not much of a host... ha.
anyway, tell your family you love them. i don't know how the friends i have that have lost such close family members deal with it through each day, but i give them some major props for making it. andy, kasey, darrell, zack... you guys are undeniably strong.
& laura, thanks for being such a great friend. i don't know how i'm going to repay you. so i'll just say thanks.
for christmas, the one thing i'd really like is to be with all my friends, in one place if possible, having a good time. i miss everyone immensely & i wish we could all still be together with each other. maybe i should try to arrange something. yet, last time i had a party, the only people that came were from cullman, so i guess i'm not much of a host... ha.
anyway, tell your family you love them. i don't know how the friends i have that have lost such close family members deal with it through each day, but i give them some major props for making it. andy, kasey, darrell, zack... you guys are undeniably strong.
& laura, thanks for being such a great friend. i don't know how i'm going to repay you. so i'll just say thanks.