we're alone, together
wow, hmmmmmmmmm
i just did some interesting reading, had some interesting conversations, and just all around just been thinking about stuff. ya know the future, the past, the now. wow the last month has been awesome. i think i finally found someone who deserves me. Lauren. she's so great. but the sad thing is i think i'm afraid to fall in love. that hit me tonight. and it sux cuz she told me the other night that she was in fact falling in love with me. she's so great i just wish i could get over this fear i have, of commitment, of getting hurt. i will.
she's so great. she know how to make me laugh and she knows how to make me miss her and want her and all that other good stuff. its so great. not once have i pissed her off or said something wrong. i think i must be gettin better at thinking about what i say before i actually say it. we talk every night. we had a great talk last night about the past, and about how ya know we miss it. but everything right now keeps gettin better and better. so why should i be sad about not having the past.
lauren has made me realize some things about myself. 1) i made a big mistake this summer with mandy. not dating her, but giving her my v-card, she didn't deserve it, and i didn't love her. 2) that i actually deserve someone that won't cheat on me and who thinks the world of me. 3) i have a reason to love again, and lauren is it.
over the past few months i have come into my own. i have be come more aware of the world. i have found out who matters in this world and who doesn't. right now i can honestly say that my best friend in the world above any girl above any family member is jody. he has been there for me through everything and has taken to my defense when shit gets heavy. for that i love him. not in a queer fag way but i would honestly die for him. i would do anything for jody except give him the blue hoodie.
i found out that i am better off through the occurences of the last half year. i don't have to worry about my gf cheating on me, because she knows whats right. i don't have to worry about her doing drugs or being in the wrong crowd and her friends f-ing her over. she is making me a better person as well. i don't drink as much as i used to, i got my grades up. i have a 3.13 right now thank you very much. i only tried pot, but i'm done, i've done my experimenting and it's not for me. i am better off that i don't have to deal with bullshit and crap. i am my own man. i worry about a few select people and thats it. i don't get involved in drama, and it's wonderful.
i'm going to see lauren on wednesday. can't wait. i 'm gonna give her a huge kiss when i see her. ah i can't wait. i miss her lips and her hugs. and her well lets just say hmmmmmmmmm. her blessings.
anyway i'm about to go now, but lemme give you a little wisdom. THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS. simply meaning, no matter your situation in life, you will want what you are. ex. britney spears is rich. outta all the guys in the world she coulda had anyone of them. she chooses the white trash. so in learing we know that britney spears is just plain white trash because that is what she wanted, despite her huge amount of wealth. do you know anyone that had the world, but gave it up because they weren't good enough for it? just a lil question
sorry i haven't updated folks, but i think i will start again.
Bye everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just did some interesting reading, had some interesting conversations, and just all around just been thinking about stuff. ya know the future, the past, the now. wow the last month has been awesome. i think i finally found someone who deserves me. Lauren. she's so great. but the sad thing is i think i'm afraid to fall in love. that hit me tonight. and it sux cuz she told me the other night that she was in fact falling in love with me. she's so great i just wish i could get over this fear i have, of commitment, of getting hurt. i will.
she's so great. she know how to make me laugh and she knows how to make me miss her and want her and all that other good stuff. its so great. not once have i pissed her off or said something wrong. i think i must be gettin better at thinking about what i say before i actually say it. we talk every night. we had a great talk last night about the past, and about how ya know we miss it. but everything right now keeps gettin better and better. so why should i be sad about not having the past.
lauren has made me realize some things about myself. 1) i made a big mistake this summer with mandy. not dating her, but giving her my v-card, she didn't deserve it, and i didn't love her. 2) that i actually deserve someone that won't cheat on me and who thinks the world of me. 3) i have a reason to love again, and lauren is it.
over the past few months i have come into my own. i have be come more aware of the world. i have found out who matters in this world and who doesn't. right now i can honestly say that my best friend in the world above any girl above any family member is jody. he has been there for me through everything and has taken to my defense when shit gets heavy. for that i love him. not in a queer fag way but i would honestly die for him. i would do anything for jody except give him the blue hoodie.
i found out that i am better off through the occurences of the last half year. i don't have to worry about my gf cheating on me, because she knows whats right. i don't have to worry about her doing drugs or being in the wrong crowd and her friends f-ing her over. she is making me a better person as well. i don't drink as much as i used to, i got my grades up. i have a 3.13 right now thank you very much. i only tried pot, but i'm done, i've done my experimenting and it's not for me. i am better off that i don't have to deal with bullshit and crap. i am my own man. i worry about a few select people and thats it. i don't get involved in drama, and it's wonderful.
i'm going to see lauren on wednesday. can't wait. i 'm gonna give her a huge kiss when i see her. ah i can't wait. i miss her lips and her hugs. and her well lets just say hmmmmmmmmm. her blessings.
anyway i'm about to go now, but lemme give you a little wisdom. THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS. simply meaning, no matter your situation in life, you will want what you are. ex. britney spears is rich. outta all the guys in the world she coulda had anyone of them. she chooses the white trash. so in learing we know that britney spears is just plain white trash because that is what she wanted, despite her huge amount of wealth. do you know anyone that had the world, but gave it up because they weren't good enough for it? just a lil question
sorry i haven't updated folks, but i think i will start again.
Bye everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!