stapled shut inside an outside world

[one_man_twice]

well last night was fun.........not. went to legends with maureen to go see her friend dance. well turns out we missed her dance so like when we got there we turn around and left. so that was kinda gay. although when i walked into legends its felt good to be back there. it felt good to be somewhere familiar. but there were so many people in there. like i walked out on the dance floor and it was so hot. everyone was sweaty. i was like damn. and i saw plenty of hot ass girls, but i don't know.........there's just something that is inside me that just is done with girls. i don't know i guess it's cuz i 'm lazy. i don't wanna have to go up to a girl then find out she has a bf then i have just wasted my time. i have the confidence, it doesn't bother me if i get rejected cuz i 'm better than about 95% of the guys out there, but i don't know i just hate working and then getting nothing. tonight we're going to the apex. one of carla's friends works there so we get in free and free drinks b4 eleven. hopefully i'll have fun.

i feel weird lately. like i don't want a relationship, i just want someone to talk to. i want to tell someone my thoughts the way i feel about things. i have so much crap bottled up in me from just everything that has happend in the past 4 months and i can't find anyone i'm comfortable with to tell them.

i haven't finsihed yet but i'll finish my thoughts later see ya