My Deepest Apologies

Oct 23, 2006 19:08

Sing it for me; I can't erase the stupid things I say; You're better than me; I struggle just to find a better way;

So here we are; Fighting and trying to hide the scars; I'll be home tonight; Take a breath and softly say goodbye; The lonely road; The one that I should try to walk alone; I'll be home tonight; Take a breath and softly say goodbye;

You wouldn't like me; Keep moving on until forever ends; Don't try to fight me; The beauty queen has lost her crown again;

So here we are; Fighting and trying to hide the scars; I'll be home tonight; Take a breath and softly say goodbye; The lonely road; The one that I should try to walk alone; I'll be home tonight; Take a breath and softly say goodbye;

Goodbye."

My life has been pretty crazy since my last post. I'm struggling here at school, mostly because I'm becoming burnt out. And in all the crazyness my deepest fear has become a reality. Lets back-track shall we? (Well, you don't really have a choice unless you stop reading at this point.)

Logan got his job in Durham about a year ago. When he got the news that he had been hired I was really scared that the distance would come between us and be our downfall. Well that didn't happen. I had actually convinced myself that I was wrong and then the past couple of weeks happened. To make a long story short, we almost broke up.

Now, I know the distance issue isn't completely to blame. We have some communication issues and I have been more motherly than girlfriendly and then there are my self-ishness, depression, and self-esteem issues. I know I need to change, and I'm working on it. I'm trying not to let the very insignificant things get to me and am learning to choose my battles. I just hope it's not too late and that I don't slip up.

Things have changed. We have changed. We're not the same people we were two years ago.

I still think that we're compatable. When we're together, there are very little fights and we seem to get along great.

In other news, I was on my fall break last week. One of the perks of going to school here is that our fall break is a week long. I spent most of it in Durham with Logan. We went to the state fair with Gwen. That was a lot of fun. Gwen rode this sling-shot type ride with me and we bought some fudge and elephant ears. I love elephant ears. The next day Logan and I took a day trip to the mountains.  If you haven't been to Stone Mountain State Park, I really suggest you go. We went to go see the leaves, but it was pretty cloudy that day so we really couldn't see much. We got to see a trout jumping rocks while trying to swim up stream to lay her eggs. That was pretty cool. Had a picnic lunch beside a creek and drove the parkway up tp Virginia before heading back to Durham. I'll post pictures when we finish the camera and get them developed.
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