Nightmare

[one_in_progress]

I was playing a computer game, Zszusa was guiding me. I was also organizing groceries for this joint shabbat dinner and kept going around the grocery store to things I’d forgotten. In the dream, I ran into Edward/Clark at the store and hugged him and he said he was glad to see me too, but at least TR had been on time. I was supposed to meet him and I’d forgotten. We split up though, looking for things. When I was close to checking out, I ran into a sanctimonious woman I knew I didn’t like and when she said something mean to me, I “accidentally” seriously hurt her with a shopping cart. Then as I was finally leaving, ready with the groceries, it was the character in the game I was playing, leaving the marketlplace, but I decided she had to go back for something, and raced ber back to the market area, and then the king and his troops came by and stirred up the air and she fell down, and then she was Zsuzsa. Then (her, or it might have been my) mom went to get her and kept insisting she was dying, then it wasn’t a game any more and I was there and saying, ‘how do you know?’ But she was dying and she died really fast and (her) mom didn’t seem to care. This happened a couple of times. In the last (maybe fourth) one, she was dying in the car as we were driving and she wanted to throw herself out of the moving car and I helped her by unlocking the door. She tried to apologize as she threw herself out and finally mumbled what sounded like ‘I love you.’ I tried to say it too but it was already too late. In one iteration of the dream, she came back, we were Chinese, she took the form of a hand that would write symbols for us on a block of sand. She was an invisible ghost.

I woke up completely horrified. I am horrified. I am stunned and stopped and can’t do anything or think about anything. It was one of the worst nightmares I’ve ever had.