lever/age hazards

[one_if_by_land]

Lever/age Hazards
Kai/D.O | Sehun/Lu Han | Kai+Lu Han
~6.2k

Investment banking AU. Sehun is the new intern in Jongin and Kyungsoo's group.
When illusions don't matter as long as the results are real.

Comments

[herocountry]

UNNI

THE F I R S T LINE F U C K I N G D Y I N G OH MY GOD

LEVERAGED FINANCE SLDKGHSLKDFJ EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS CRACKS ME UP ALREADY, HIRING FREEZE, HE'S RELATED TO SOMEONE IMPORTANT, omg i wish i hadn't italicized that last bit bc this won't stand out anymore but "Jongin, how do you think you got hired," D I E I DIE, also omg lol the anti-kaiho. JONGIN'S DISDAIN FOR THE HEDGE FUND THIS IS THE MOST PERFECT ACCURATE AU but banking is nothing without the constant perception of overwork and productivity all of your little details and your perfect summations, you keep the atmosphere flawlessly intact throughout, when he spends their entire meal expense on two bags of candy from the convenience store WOW I WANT TO KICK HIS ASS laskdjflasdkjf his nonprofit friend & kaisoo roommate ribbing

"There's a lot to regret when it comes to Jongin," LOL AND I LOVE HOW HE KNOWS LUHAN HATES MIDTOWN... "Years ago, though. I barely remember him." / "You saw me last week," this is possibly my favourite humourous exchange except actually MAYBE THE LAST LINES ARE INSTEAD... god i love jongin i just want to kick him in the head

and age only skimmed the surface of their differences. [...] The kind of wealth that gets him on the right ladder, but it's up to him how far he's willing to climb. BING WHY ARE YOU PERFECT :( you always have these like aldfkj great ~life lines~ in your fic, like LIFE... OBSERVATIONS/WISDOM.... i just want to paste them on tumblr photography or something :( :( dying @ fusion restaurants and soul-searching, how disgustingly accurate

Jongin always sees Lu Han checking into on Foursquare (which he only tracks so he knows where to avoid) alksdfjlaksdjf gurgling, your lukai is my favourite lukai this is so inane and hilarious. YIXING'S PERFECT JOB

when your biggest selling point isn't how much you can let the industry consume you, how much you're willing to give of yourself. yes yes how much can you submerge yourself into the company, how late can you stay, how often you come in extra, the more you eat breathe sleep your job the better, god it's such a insular self-obsessed culture IT IS LIKE A LITTLE WORLD BY ITSELF, everyone just peering inward ughhhh ALL THE TRUTH BOMBS YOU DROP. "Never heard of it before," someone snickers wow this is actually fucking amazing alskdjfl luhan's eyeroll and his annoyance at this, and his convo w/ jongin later, i love that luhan kind of quietly refuses to take it or buy into it or even just humour jongin. the perfect snide banter, wow i feel so slimy rn it's like you dropped me right back into the school year (minus NYC + actually having a bit more cred since they're working). THE CHILL OF PARANOIA re: blackberry. and later so much so that Sehun's ambivalence to banking stings, as if he's rejecting Jongin himself. yes yes yes i loved this line soooooo much it is so fucking onpoint, like you put all of yourself in this job, your blood and tears, how can other people think of it so flippantly or poorly--perfect analyst mindset, perfect start point.

and Kyungsoo goes a little pink in his cheeks. o-omo "Whatever is Kyungsoo's is mine, too!" HE IS SUCH A BABY, i love how natural and present your kaisoo was, their unquestionable inobtrusive bond~

WOW YES, JONGIN NEEDING TO KNOW HE'S GOING SOMEWHERE, LUHAN MOVING IN CIRCLES

[herocountry]

i'm

screaming

passive aggressive emails laksdjfla AND THEN THE LOGO STORY pixel quality alskdjf the tension of working together in one moment and then ripping each other's throats out the next, constantly prickly and reluctant, ps i love kyungsoo w/ all my heart throughout <3_<3. without showing him how to spend money, too. damn it's good to be a, etc. ORDERING BOTTLES, + omg jongin flinching at the sparkler :3

"I get it, you hate everyone I know." / "I don't hate Sehun." oh my god you actually made me rly like the selu in this fic, like THEY WERE SO PRECIOUS AND CUTE... gj 4 real. "Lu Han, right?" he asks shyly, as if Jongin hadn't caught him trying to look up the other's Facebook just two days ago. AUGH HOW IS IT CUTE

O M G LUHAN'S CARDIGAN omg sehun u precious boy how he subconsciously pulls the cardigan closer around him even as he says it. aaaaugh. AND JONGIN THROWING OUT KYUNGSOO'S THOUGHTFUL HEALTHY BREAKFAST CRYING

OH MY GOD JONGIN'S MISMATCHED SUIT SOBBING BING YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE HORROR THAT SUDDENLY SHOOK THROUGH MY SOUL WHEN I READ KYUNGSOO POINTING IT OUT LSDKFJSDL WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S OKAY JONGIN NO NO WHAT The problem with hierarchies and ladders is that how high you're willing to climb is the same as how far you're willing to fall. and no jongin it's all appearances!!

That for all the emphasis that banking puts on image, in the end the results are always real. this is actually the most perfect description of i-banking i have ever read, like actually. i can't get over how perfect it (and all the other parts) is/are, it is all smoke and mirrors and stupid formatting/colour rules for suits but then at the end of the day, it's MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. so

"I don't think Sehun is going to accept the full-time offer," he sighs, rolling his face on the soft wool of Kyungsoo's suit jacket. / "He never figured out how to standardize margins in Excel," Kyungsoo replies without missing a beat. "We don't need him." WOW WOW WOW i don't like quoting full long lines but i couldn't figure out where to cut off--rolling his face in kyungsoo's wool suit, we don't need him. sob. SOB. my h-heart Q_____Q this is my absolute favourite exchange, their perfect supportive relationship, their dismissive bravado ;;

[one_if_by_land]

tori, what country did I save in a past life to deserve a maknae like you, why are you such a delight, how do you leave the absolute best comments, etc. T_T ilu.

I'M GLAD MY LARGELY ANECDOTAL AND GENERALLY USELESS KNOWLEDGE OF BANKING could be used in such a productive way. :> it's funny that I didn't take a single business/economics course in college, didn't even know a single person in the business school until midway through and then spent the next few years in a whirlwind of international kids, finance, and banking. @_@ if nothing else, at least I've accumulated a lengthy list of buzzwords and can now tell if guys at bars/parties are being disingenuous when they say they do ibanking but in actuality work in a (gasp) mid-office position. /eyeroll

omg, I hate work blackberrys now; if I had to list every single time I've eaten a dinner with a blackberry set on the table between us with THAT RED LIGHT THAT BLINKS LIKE AN EVIL EYE whenever there's a new e-mail notification aughhh. re: showing sehun how to spend money, the running joke was "damn, it [would've been] good to be a banker.... circa 2007" but then again analyst bonuses last year were still higher than most household incomes (EVEN THOUGH some groups weren't even profitable asldkfj whatever, not my industry).

there were so many more finance insults I wish I could've squeezed in!! like one time someone was saying how working conditions are better at boutique banks, and someone else replied, "well, yeah, if you're that desperate to work on deals with market caps of 50million," or when an analyst was bragging about his first $10mm commission and got casually shut down with, "10 million is a rounding error for us...." listening to bankers subtly backhand each other as they pretend to be friends was one of the more entertaining parts of the culture, ngl.

idk how I always end up writing sehun/lu han when it's not even one of my favorite ships; THE TWO OF THEM JUST MAKE IT SO EASY. :( and writing AUs tends to make me nervous because I worry that the characterization will get washed out, so I'm super relieved that you found both the characters and the general conflicts believable~~

ahhhh, I'm so happy we're in this fandom together ♥♥♥