SINCE YOU BEEN GONE!
Yeah yeah.
Everything is so crazy. Overall I'd say i'm a reckless maniac. but I feel good, and it's summer.
You're only young once. Lets face it, the best (and worst) times are had when you just don't give a fuck.
It's weird how there is such a pull of power in relationships. How if one person is in control then the other feels helpless. Or if one person cares sometimes the other just doesn't. Not because they don't.. But cosmic energy just is what it is. Or something.
I've got these weird issues with guys I like and wanting to take care of them. Which is useless, cause every time I get into it I know that it's something that really only some kind of professional should be doing. I'm not a doctor.. so where is the line drawn between caring about someone and getting so wrapped up in it you neglect yourself?
but right now that's not really how I've been neglecting myself. I guess things are never completely balanced, but now it just seems like I'm making stupid mistakes. the kind that are unlike me. I take so much time and effort to care for my mind and body and then I wonder if it's a fear or something that lets/makes me screw it up.. can I really be afraid of being stable? that's weird. But that's all I got. Or is it just the excitement that pulls me into acting stupid or just not thinking? I don't really know. maybe a little of both. either way... its no good.
it always amazes me how quickly things can be destroyed and how long it takes to repair.
Ex: seconds to pop a pimple, days for it to heal.
Thusly, I'm trying very hard to think threw my words and actions... cause impulses are important but can also fuck me over major. what do I realllly want in the long run? what will help me get there?
instead of,
I'm lonely who can make it easier?
and though I've been living a more or less "don't give a fuck" lifestyle. It has its perks. Its nice when you don't care what people think about you. Especially when you've established that if people are sayin things, it doesn't matter. Rant rant rant. I go now.
Moms home. I get to eat another real meal. Fabulous.
Everything is so crazy. Overall I'd say i'm a reckless maniac. but I feel good, and it's summer.
You're only young once. Lets face it, the best (and worst) times are had when you just don't give a fuck.
It's weird how there is such a pull of power in relationships. How if one person is in control then the other feels helpless. Or if one person cares sometimes the other just doesn't. Not because they don't.. But cosmic energy just is what it is. Or something.
I've got these weird issues with guys I like and wanting to take care of them. Which is useless, cause every time I get into it I know that it's something that really only some kind of professional should be doing. I'm not a doctor.. so where is the line drawn between caring about someone and getting so wrapped up in it you neglect yourself?
but right now that's not really how I've been neglecting myself. I guess things are never completely balanced, but now it just seems like I'm making stupid mistakes. the kind that are unlike me. I take so much time and effort to care for my mind and body and then I wonder if it's a fear or something that lets/makes me screw it up.. can I really be afraid of being stable? that's weird. But that's all I got. Or is it just the excitement that pulls me into acting stupid or just not thinking? I don't really know. maybe a little of both. either way... its no good.
it always amazes me how quickly things can be destroyed and how long it takes to repair.
Ex: seconds to pop a pimple, days for it to heal.
Thusly, I'm trying very hard to think threw my words and actions... cause impulses are important but can also fuck me over major. what do I realllly want in the long run? what will help me get there?
instead of,
I'm lonely who can make it easier?
and though I've been living a more or less "don't give a fuck" lifestyle. It has its perks. Its nice when you don't care what people think about you. Especially when you've established that if people are sayin things, it doesn't matter. Rant rant rant. I go now.
Moms home. I get to eat another real meal. Fabulous.