The end is nigh.
In honor of the publication, tomorrow, of the final Harry Potter book, I bring you this trip down One_11's-Live-Journal Memory Lane.
From June, 2003...
--
As you have no doubt heard by now, last night thieves in Britain absconded with a trailer containing 7,680 copies of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," the new J.K. Rowling opus which isn't officially available until this Friday.
An awesome quote from a New York Times article about the heist:
"The truckload of books had an estimated retail value $220,000 -- but advance copies would have a much higher street value."
"Street value!" Like heroin!
Picture the scene. A SHIVERING CHILD approaches a SHADY GUY in an alleyway:
SHIVERING CHILD
Hey mister... I need a fix real bad... You got some Potter?
SHADY GUY
Do I got some Potter? I got some serious "Order of the Phoenix" shit right here, my man.
SHIVERING CHILD
(drooling at the thought)
Ph... Ph... Phoenix? What's the tag?
SHADY GUY
For valued customers like your bad self? Fitty dollars.
SHIVERING CHILD
Fifty?! But that's three months of paper route money!
SHADY GUY
Perhaps you didn't hear me correctly, bitch. This ain't no punk-ass photocopy abridged bullshit. This baby's uncut and opened zero times. Most motherfuckers ain't even gonna see this motherfucker until motherfucking Friday -- you think I'm in the mood to bargain with your ten-year-old ass?
SHIVERING CHILD
(counting out fifty dollars in singles and change)
Okay, okay, be cool. Here's the money.
SHADY GUY
(grabbing the cash, handing over the book)
A'ight, now get outta here before your Mama catches you out late on schoolnight. And don't do it all at once -- that sucker's 768 pages. Shit'll fuck you up.
From June, 2003...
--
As you have no doubt heard by now, last night thieves in Britain absconded with a trailer containing 7,680 copies of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," the new J.K. Rowling opus which isn't officially available until this Friday.
An awesome quote from a New York Times article about the heist:
"The truckload of books had an estimated retail value $220,000 -- but advance copies would have a much higher street value."
"Street value!" Like heroin!
Picture the scene. A SHIVERING CHILD approaches a SHADY GUY in an alleyway:
SHIVERING CHILD
Hey mister... I need a fix real bad... You got some Potter?
SHADY GUY
Do I got some Potter? I got some serious "Order of the Phoenix" shit right here, my man.
SHIVERING CHILD
(drooling at the thought)
Ph... Ph... Phoenix? What's the tag?
SHADY GUY
For valued customers like your bad self? Fitty dollars.
SHIVERING CHILD
Fifty?! But that's three months of paper route money!
SHADY GUY
Perhaps you didn't hear me correctly, bitch. This ain't no punk-ass photocopy abridged bullshit. This baby's uncut and opened zero times. Most motherfuckers ain't even gonna see this motherfucker until motherfucking Friday -- you think I'm in the mood to bargain with your ten-year-old ass?
SHIVERING CHILD
(counting out fifty dollars in singles and change)
Okay, okay, be cool. Here's the money.
SHADY GUY
(grabbing the cash, handing over the book)
A'ight, now get outta here before your Mama catches you out late on schoolnight. And don't do it all at once -- that sucker's 768 pages. Shit'll fuck you up.