Casually Dressed And Deep In Conversation
Act 1: Lethargy II: The Sequal
It seems, as of late, that is exactly how I live. I feel as though, over the last month, I have suddenly aged 20 years. It seems like all I do anymore is go to work, come home, and then quickly rush right back off to sleep, only so I can awake before the sun does so, and become further allured in this listlless, perpetuated cycle of apathetic normality tomorrow. And, naturally, it only further exacerbates my feeling of contempt for myself, and the life in which I'm living, when I stop to think and realize that this is what I have to look forward to everyday, for the rest of my life. It's downright nauseating. Something has to give, something has to change. I feel like the RC Toy with the broken reverse switch. I hit a wall. I can't back up and direct myself around it, and I can't break through it. Theoretically, all i can do is keep trudging onward; ahead. Straight in to the wall, making maximum effort with minimal progress, until the battery dies. And, if something doesn't give, that is exactly what will happen. I raise my head to the sky sometimes, in desperation, and I ask whomever it is that may be listening, "When? When will I get through this? At what point, exactly, does it all just end. One way or the other? Which comes first? A complete forgoement of what shred of sanity with which I'm barely still grasping, or I once and for all break through, or redirect myself around this wall?"
I'm nostalgic. Nostalgic for the course on which I once walked; Ran, even. It still, to this day, perplexes me how one day you can step back from yourself, and take a deep gander at your life and feel complacent and satisfied. Then, seemingly in the blink of an eye, you feel like some sort of hybrid, robotic zombie that has been designed, delineated, and blue-printed to do nothing but fail! To fall flat on it's proverbial back-side, and have it's fictile body walked upon, by everyone around them who is trudging freely onward without a wall, or metaphorical mass ahead of them to hault them dead in thier tracks. I'm beginning to wonder if or when it will ever end.
Luckily, for me, I see no signs, in the near future anyway, of giving up. Interpret how you see fit. I just wish I could shed the angry, apathetic malcontent that I have become, for the cognizant, assertive, and generally proud and whimsical person that I once was.
Synopsis: Jeremy Vs. Life
Conclusion: Life-1, Jeremy-0
It seems, as of late, that is exactly how I live. I feel as though, over the last month, I have suddenly aged 20 years. It seems like all I do anymore is go to work, come home, and then quickly rush right back off to sleep, only so I can awake before the sun does so, and become further allured in this listlless, perpetuated cycle of apathetic normality tomorrow. And, naturally, it only further exacerbates my feeling of contempt for myself, and the life in which I'm living, when I stop to think and realize that this is what I have to look forward to everyday, for the rest of my life. It's downright nauseating. Something has to give, something has to change. I feel like the RC Toy with the broken reverse switch. I hit a wall. I can't back up and direct myself around it, and I can't break through it. Theoretically, all i can do is keep trudging onward; ahead. Straight in to the wall, making maximum effort with minimal progress, until the battery dies. And, if something doesn't give, that is exactly what will happen. I raise my head to the sky sometimes, in desperation, and I ask whomever it is that may be listening, "When? When will I get through this? At what point, exactly, does it all just end. One way or the other? Which comes first? A complete forgoement of what shred of sanity with which I'm barely still grasping, or I once and for all break through, or redirect myself around this wall?"
I'm nostalgic. Nostalgic for the course on which I once walked; Ran, even. It still, to this day, perplexes me how one day you can step back from yourself, and take a deep gander at your life and feel complacent and satisfied. Then, seemingly in the blink of an eye, you feel like some sort of hybrid, robotic zombie that has been designed, delineated, and blue-printed to do nothing but fail! To fall flat on it's proverbial back-side, and have it's fictile body walked upon, by everyone around them who is trudging freely onward without a wall, or metaphorical mass ahead of them to hault them dead in thier tracks. I'm beginning to wonder if or when it will ever end.
Luckily, for me, I see no signs, in the near future anyway, of giving up. Interpret how you see fit. I just wish I could shed the angry, apathetic malcontent that I have become, for the cognizant, assertive, and generally proud and whimsical person that I once was.
Synopsis: Jeremy Vs. Life
Conclusion: Life-1, Jeremy-0