Dear Wiggle Worm,

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Please, for the love of all that is good in the world, stop squirming so much. I know you are just trying to say hi, but it makes me think of all those Sci-Fi movies where little aliens are crawling around underneatht the skin and then all of a sudden pop out at places like the belly button. Also, please stop fighting the vitamins so much and making me crave really BAD food that gives me heart burn. You'll have more room in there if I keep the weight to a minimum.
Love,
Mom