There's no excuse - tofuho/onkey - onshot for challenge 16
Title: There's no excuse.
Author: chunonew_rx
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: tofuho (onew/minho), onkey (onew/key)
Wordcount: 917
Prompt: kinda used both. idk. XD
Disclaimer: I wish I could but I really don’t own them. not even Yoochun, that's sad. ;__;
Summary: I know I don't have excuse. But hey! Ask love for an explanation and lets see if you will have it. I don't go falling in love with people because I want to, it's not like that.
A/N: I don't know where this came from XD. This isn't beta-ed, so be scared, my english sucks. XD Written forshawol_haven 's 16 Challenge. vote vote~!
There's no excuse
Things are so different now, from what they were five years ago. Like this street, that some time ago was so familiar, now looked so foreign, now with lots more lights, lots more people, lots more life even at times like this when it was raining.
_
I'm sorry Kibum. I didn't mean this for to happen. It just happened. Its not an excuse, I know. I can understand you if you don't forgive me. But I'm being sincere and I don't want to hurt you. I don't love you anymore, not like that.
_
The rain also seemed different now. Not because I haven't seen rain in the past 5 years because that wasn't the case exactly, but more precisely because I haven't felt this free in the rain in so long. That it was almost new to me. Lots of things were new to me now.
_
I swear, it wasn't a thing called or expected. I wasn't desperate to love someone so you know. I just wanted those years to be over so I could come back to you.But then I met him and the attraction between both of us couldn't be hidden. I'm not telling you this, so you will hate me, not exactly.
Kibum, I love you. Just not like that. I stopped sending letters because I didn't want this to happen on a letter.
_
You know, the army and war can make you forget how the real world worked. In the real world you don't need eight eyes, instead you only need two. You don't need guns to feel secure. In this real world you could walk normally without being paranoid. I was glad to have that back.
_
Now that you know everything. Please don't suffer for me. Try looking for someone else. There must be someone.
I'm really sorry baby. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. But I couldn't comeback and lie to you. That could have been much worse, and that's the last thing you deserve.
_
But to tell you the truth, the army wasn't all bad either. I'm not defending it. What I'm trying to say is that I learned lots of things in the army too and to be sincere that experience have given me such happiness. The army and war also gave me love when I most needed it. There I meet love again. I fell in love again. It happened just when I had someone waiting for me back home. That's why I'm also thankful to the army, because to be sincere I don't know what my life would be right now if I didn't meet Minho in the middle of the combat. Maybe I wouldn’t be here right now.
_
I will ask for the divorce. I didn't want to send the lawyer without talking to you personally because you don't deserve that. You deserve so much love Kibum. Even if you don't believe me, I still care about you.
I hope you will find one someday. There must be someone for you. A person just for you, a person as perfect as I never could be for you. I'm sorry. I wish for your happiness.
_
Kibum was the one I left for the army. I didn't want to leave him but it was my duty. And trust me, as a young married couple the last thing we wanted was to be away from each other. But life have always been cruel somehow. Life had other plans for us, and it seemed that those plans didn't include us being together.
Now after five years without looking at each other, five years since the last time we said “I love you” to each other, I said goodbye to him.
This foreign street is what's left of our relationship. Because after so long, that's what we are to each other now, strangers. And If before we had our differences now it's more noticeable. Years don't pass in vain, they take credit and leave marks.
Minho is what years gave me. We meet and things just happened on their own and I couldn't really go back to Kibum. Not like this, not loving someone else.
I know I don't have excuse. But hey! Ask love for an explanation and lets see if you will have it. I don't go falling in love with people because I want to, it's not like that. Not exactly. Minho appeared just like that and believe me when I say that the last thing I wanted was fall for him when I loved Kibum.
But you can't win love. You can't decide what to do with it. It gives you the way, like gravity, it leads you the way and there's no way you can't change that.
I assure you that I'm not making up excuses because I know there's no sufficient excuse that can make up what I just did to Kibum. He didn't deserve this. I broke his heart tonight and there's no right or excuse that could make me feel any good about it. My only hope is for him to find his own happiness. Is the least I can do now that I found my own.
“How it go?” Minho asked me after give me a little peck on the lips when we meet later that night. “are you ok, baby?”
I nodded my head while tears fell and Minho only hugged me tightly. But no, I wasn't the problem. The problem was the heart broken man I left in that now foreign apartment on that foreign street, that a long time ago was also my home.
_
I waited for you all this time, please don't leave me.
_
Love can be selfish sometimes, taking someone's love and giving it to another person, that was almost cruel. But yeah, love can also be cruel. But that wasn't a valid excuse either.
_
I'm sorry.
FIN
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I don't know where this came from actually XD I'm trying to get back my writing and this came in the process.
Not beta-ed as you saw. so if there's a grammar error you want to point out, please do so, i don't bite XD
PLEASE VOTE IF YOU LIKED IT ^_^
