C-c-c-concrit

[mykindasong]

On this lovely Spring day (we hope it is, anyway) we welcome you to the...

The Johnny's Fanfiction Concrit Meme
THIS is where you get to tell me about my writing.♥ Comment for yourself only. Do not make threads for other people

Comments

[anonymous]

I think that you have some really good ideas in your fics. I like your AUs and I like the things you explore in the relationships between the members that you write.

I think you would greatly benefit from a beta. There are some grammar issues since you're a non-native English speaker, but more importantly, I think sometimes there are passages in your writing that read a bit awkwardly, or are stylistically different from the overall feel of your fic. They're 100% understandable, just kind of jarring sometimes to encounter while reading. For example:
His mother wanted him to be an Admiral one day. She kind of forced him into the Navy, but it wasn’t like he had many other choices. That’s why Miyata never blamed her. (examples from 'Kaizoku...?')
These sentences are a little bit too simplistic and casual, imo, compared to the paragraph before it (which was very good!). A good beta would be able to notice that and help you adjust those.

Something small: please put paragraph breaks between lines of dialogue! I realize it's largely an English-language thing, but because everyone who reads English-language fic is probably used to seeing that empty line between each line of dialogue, it becomes hard to read when you don't have them.

Anyway, these are all sort of like "writing craft" issues that are probably easier to learn/fix than if you had bad plots or something, haha. And I think there's already a lot of improvement in your writing style since you first started writing oneshots in English, so I bet part of it is just that you getting more comfortable writing in English and stuff. So keep on keepin' on! :D/

(Btw, fandom_grammar is a great resource that might be helpful if you have time to flip through it!)

[noella84]

Thanks for the long and useful comment!
I'll work more on my style from now on. I can't use the fact that English is not my native language as an excuse to slack off and I know I have the problem of simplifying sentences a lot when I just want to get on with the story (I think I do that in Italian too sometimes, but re-reading and fixing is a lot easier). As for the grammar... yeah I need to study more. Believe it or not, my grammar is worse now that I live in an English speaking country, but that's entirely my fault as I'm not studying as much as when I was in university.XD; I'll need to find a native speaker beta. Unfortunately it's not easy. Especially finding someone that can help with style issues too. :x You're very welcome to help me find a beta anon!:3
To be honest I'm not confident writing in English at all, and I'll probably never achieve a good level, but I'll keep on working on that.