• Concrit away~ •

[mykindasong]

Happy Halloween~!

Welcome to the...

The Johnny's Fanfiction Concrit Meme
THIS is where you get to tell me about my writing.

Rules are simple, because we like it that way. And I like just copy and pasting~♥ Please to be commenting for yourself and yourself only. If another writer doesn't want to be on here, don't put them here! Also, please

Comments

Re: A

[arifuretakotoba]

so, I'll try to make up for the fact that my brain doesn't seem to work properly D:

I'm not that into the Arashi-fandom, so I can't really tell about characterization and such.
I've read over 'Sorry' and the first chapter of 'Divergence' and those are some points that you could spend some work on:

- spelling & grammar mistakes (there were a few)
- parapraphs - you make use of them, which is good, because it creates breaks. But there is no real difference between different types of breaks. which means the reader is suddenly confronted with a time shift because it looks the same as when you want to switch from.. say thoughts to action.
- sometimes you use commas when using dots/ending a sentence would have been nicer to read. but this may be personal preference
- sometimes I would have liked for a comma to actually be there

All together I like your style of writing, it's not the usual "he did that. than he did that" stuff, but you give the characters some substance and characteristics. I also like the fact that you don't use much dialogue. I like stories that are mainly built on decsriptions.
Hope this somehow helps :'D

Re: A

[alexxasick]

Thank you very much for your insight:D
I'll try harder!