(no subject)
Title: The Slayer and The Dragon
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Mulan/Philip, Mulan, Philip, Aurora
Word Count: 5053
Warnings: angst, het, romance
Spoilers: 2x01
Summary: Mulan had never expected to find love on the quest to save Aurora.
Author's Notes: Originally for rodlox as part of the ouat-exchange 2012. Special thanks to glovered for her awesome beta-ing.
Philip needed help searching for his “sleeping beauty”---well he called her Aurora but everyone else in the camp called her that---and Mulan was the only one to volunteer her sword. She needed to get out of the confines of the camp. She needed to do something instead of running and hiding and worrying. She just needed to be free from it all. It also helped that Philip was the only one in the camp, aside from Lancelot, who actually acknowledged her presence and didn’t treat her like a disease that was to be avoided at all costs.
The morning they left camp there was no great send off, no celebration for the champions they were to be. They simply got blank stares from the few who were up, most likely just woken from nightmares of fleeing from their burning homes and hiding out in the woods, woods which teemed with wildlife and magic.
As they were heading out of the camp, Lancelot gave a stiff wave with a grim expression. It hadn’t really bothered Mulan much (when one bucks tradition, support and encouragement are not really expected) but she could tell the farewell was less than Philip was expecting.
Once they had gotten a good distance from the village, she ventured, “Not quite the send off you’re used to I take it?”
Philip turned on his horse to look at her, a scowl across his face.
“I wouldn’t take it too personally,” she continued, “They just think you and I are marching to an early grave. They probably think we’re unwise to leave the safety of the camp.”
“Then they know nothing of the importance of true love,” he stated as he turned back to face the open road.
They continued the rest of the day predominately in silence, only stopping to give the horses a break or rest by the river and refill their canteens. In the afternoon, as they made camp near the edge of the woods, Mulan couldn’t help thinking that she had stung Philip’s pride with her snide remarks, but she chose to let him feel hurt as long as he wanted. She was just happy to be away from the camp with its vacant eyed inhabitants. Philip’s emotions were of little consequence to her.
Just as she was musing what brooding expression Philip would give her over dinner, he appeared as if out of thin air.
“Here, go set this,” he said, handing her several lengths of rope as long as her body and walking away without further instruction. Judging by the length and strength of the rope, Philip intended her to set a rabbit snare.
As Mulan headed towards the woods, she noticed that Philip was not trying to make his own traps or follow her to make sure she set the traps correctly. He trusted her to do the work herself.
This surprised Mulan, as she had fully expected the prince to think her a weak woman who could do nothing on her own. While in the camp he had not outright ostracized her, but his lack of criticism didn’t mean he had respected her as a warrior. By giving her full range to set the traps, he was showing her that he trusted her instincts, her training and her experience. Those snide remarks about their send off were not settling as well as they had been previously.
Mulan returned several hours later, with an armful of rabbits and several lengths of rope thrown over her shoulder. Philip did not seemed surprised at her success or make any remark on it as he took a few rabbits from her arms.
“Philip, I’m sorry for earlier. It was not...the best thing I could have said at the time.”
He looked up at her from the rabbit he was skinning his expression turning serious. Then he smiled at her and responded, “I have already forgotten about it. Please, help me skin these rabbits.”
As she took her knife from her belt, Mulan couldn’t help smiling.
* * *
On the seventh evening of their journey, as she was roasting a rabbit that Philip had caught over a small fire, she heard it---a distinct booming sound in the distance. It sounded familiar, like something from a bad dream that she couldn’t quite place. As Philip was still in the woods resetting the traps, Mulan dropped the roasting rabbit into the fire, grabbed her sword and sprinted into the woods.
“Philip! Philip, where are you?” She was half-whispering, half-shouting. There was another boom, this time much closer. Whatever was the cause of it, it was big, as she also heard the sounds of trees toppling to the ground, crushing whatever lay in their path. If she didn’t find Philip quickly their quest, would over sooner than it began.
Just as she thought she should scout from the top of a tree to see better, Philip, part of a trap tangled around his neck and torso, came stumbling out of the woods. Mulan rushed over to him, relief at finding him alive and not crushed by a tree or dead evident across her features.
“Ogre?” He whispered. Part of a trap was tangled around his neck, so Mulan nodded and, using her dagger, began to cut away the ropes that prevented his full movement. Leaning into him, she had a moment to appreciate how he smelled like a mixture of sweat, the woods and something she couldn’t quite place. It was nice and she felt a small smile creep across her lips. At that, she stepped away hoping Philip hadn’t noticed. Thankfully he seemed too distracted by the approaching monster to pay much attention to her.
Philip glanced in her direction. “We have two options: we run or we fight,” he said.
“I only see one option: we fight,” Mulan replied, her body itching for a chance to end the monster’s existence.
“I was hoping you would say that,” Philip said, facing her with a full grin on his face before running off into the woods shouting for the monster to come find him. Mulan chased after him, feeling the small smile return to her face as she ran.
When she caught up to him, she saw that Philip had led the ogre to a small clearing and was circling it with his sword drawn, all the while shouting at the brute, confusing it. When he noticed Mulan, Philip raised a finger to his lips signaling her to be quiet. She nodded and began to silently climb a nearby tree.
The tree was sticky with sap and the branches could barely support her weight, let alone the weight of her and her armor, and as she reached for the next branch, she heard the one beneath her snap and her footing faltered. Suddenly, she was only attached to the tree by the firm grip of her right hand around the sturdy branch. She let a small gasp escape her lips, all the while suppressing a small yelp of fear. The ground seemed very far away. Mulan groped for the branch with her left hand and gradually, quietly, pulled herself up onto the branch. She took a deep breath to center herself and then continued her climb.
When she was about even with the monster’s shoulder, she took a breath and lunged from the tree branch and onto the ogre’s back.
The ogre instantly forgot about Philip and began reaching around, clawing at the air, desperately trying to pull Mulan off of its back.
Noticing Mulan was in trouble, Philip thrust his sword at the monster’s legs and feet while shouting, pulling the ogre’s attention back to him. This gave Mulan enough of a window to regain balance on the monster’s shoulder and, holding onto its ear, lean out so that just her toes and left hand remained on the ogre’s shoulder. Putting some momentum behind it, Mulan swung around and pushed her sword through its eye with as much force as she could muster.
The ogre let out a vicious scream and then crashed to the ground. Mulan clung tightly to the monster’s shoulder and fell hard into its back.
“Are you alright?” Philip asked, holding her sword in one hand and reaching out with the other to help her up. It took Mulan a moment to regain her senses and register her proximity to the ground as well as the blood dripping from her sword as an indication that they had won. She took his hand and allowed herself to be pulled into a tight hug.
As soon as he released her, Philip shouted, “That was brilliant! I have never felt so alive!” He then began to praise her various maneuvers all the while acting them out.
Mulan chuckled lightly at his outburst and taking her sword, shouted a traditional victory cry from her warrior days, “Honor brings victory! Victory brings peace! Peace brings prosperity and joy!”
* * *
Fighting an ogre together had revealed Philip and Mulan had more in common than they thought. While the continued with their journey, they chatted for hours about their former battles and victories to see who was more cunning, brave, or in some cases stupid. Mulan loved talking tactics with Philip. He always shed a new perspective and new angle to her plans. She hadn’t met anyone who could keep up with her strategies since the war.
But quickly the conversations became more personal. They talked about their families, their former lives and eventually, as they sat around the fire at camp one night, they came around to the topic of past loves.
“Is there some great love of yours, waiting for you back at camp?” Philip asked.
Mulan faltered in removing her hair from its elaborate prison of a braid but quickly regained her composure. “No,” she said though after a lull she continued, “Well, there was someone once. But that was long ago.”
“I see,” Philip prompted. He came and stood next to her, gently taking her braid from her hands to untangle it. Mulan was surprised at his familiarity and in that secret place in her heart she was excited at his touch. Despite how close they had become over the past weeks, Philip still maintained some physical distance from her.
“His...his name was Shang” she started as Philip gently untangled the strips of hair that formed the braid, running his fingers through it to remove the knots.
“We fought in the war together. Actually, he started out as my trainer and he didn’t know that I was a woman but, well, one night he found out. But he didn’t tell anyone.” She laughed quietly.
When Mulan didn’t continue, Philip asked quietly, “What happened to him?”
“The ogres ended his life as we were defending our homeland together,” she said solemnly.
Philip had finished removing all the knots and was now running his fingers through her silky hair. Mulan sighed and turned to face him, noting how close they were, before continuing, “You know, I haven’t thought about Shang in a long time. It’s good to remember him. Thank you...for asking.” Her mouth twisted into a small smile as she looked up at him. Philip’s expression, while somewhat pleased with making Mulan smile, was very serious, as if he was weighing many options and their consequences.
He kissed her fiercely as if she were the only person in the world he wanted to kiss. At first Mulan was surprised at his boldness but only briefly as she returned his kiss with just as much passion. His tongue flicked across her lips seeking entrance, to which Mulan was happy to oblige. They fought for dominance, their tongues sparring as if they were dueling.
Mulan removed her leather gloves, tossing them aside, and began to explore Philip’s face with her touch. The stubble on his cheeks felt rough against her palms, his hair soft. Philip too had removed his gloves and he unclasped Mulan’s cloak, pooling it on the ground. His hands fumbled with her wide belt that kept her armor tight against her and, when it was free, brushed her shoulder armor to the ground.
Abruptly, Philip broke the kiss and pushed her away to hold her at arm’s length. Mulan frowned, and knew that the pain she was feeling at his snub had to be evident in her expression.
“Are you sure about this?” Philip asked, looking closely into her eyes.
“Philip,” she said, “There is nothing I have wanted more than this these last few weeks. You and I, we are more than I had ever thought we could be. They way we talk, they way we fight---we fit.”
That seemed to be all the confirmation that Philip needed. With that, Philip removed his chainmail neck protection, cloak and breastplate. While Mulan unlaced the rest of her chestplate, Philip spread his cloak onto a soft patch of ground near a group of trees.
Mulan flicked off her boots and came over to him, and sat comfortably on the cloak next to him. She pulled him into another kiss, starting off slow and chaste before pressing her lips to his intensely.
Her heart was racing as she gradually pulled him down on top of her. She had never felt like this with anyone, not even Shang, and she never wanted it to end. In that moment, both Philip and Mulan forgot that their ultimate quest was to free Aurora, Philip’s one true love, from her slumbering prison.
When they were through, Philip wrapped the both in his cloak, encircling Mulan with his arms and burying his face in her hair.
Mulan was surprised. She assumed that Philip would instantly leave her and renounce what had happened, spouting his true love for Aurora all the while. But he didn’t.
In fact he never did. Every night after that they spent together, warm, not only in Philip’s cloak but in their hearts as well. They never mentioned the goal of their quest in full detail again but as the days marched on, so too did the inevitable reunion of Aurora and Philip. Mulan felt conflicted inside. They were trying to save Aurora, that hadn’t changed, but a part of her (a large one) wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as it would last. She simply let herself be happy and hoped that maybe things would work out the way that she dreamed they would each night when wrapped in Philip’s embrace, staring up at the stars.
The day the castle where Aurora rested broke the horizon, the dream began to crack. Philip became more and more withdrawn from Mulan, avoiding her eyes and her concern. No matter what Mulan did, be it surprising him with a kiss or nice gesture, there was nothing she could do to make him smile again.
And the day that they were to reach the castle, Mulan awoke alone in Philip’s cloak. It was strange, as Philip usually placed kisses as soft as a butterfly’s touch upon her face to awaken her. When she opened her eyes, she could see that he was already dressed and packing up the horses for the day’s ride.
“Philip,” she called, as she brushed her hair over one shoulder and let Philip’s cloak cover only her naked torso, “Why don’t you come back and rest with me?”
He looked at her, the desire and affection clear in his face, but there was also something more. Sadness clouded his features in a way she had never seen before. His eyes looked tired, his lips were downturned in a slight frown. He seemed to have lost a great internal struggle as he said, “We really should get going.”
Mulan turned away from him to mask the pain on her face. As she reached for her clothing, she used the cloak to cover herself as, for the first time in a long time, she felt truly naked in front of Philip.
* * *
As they trotted along the path towards the ruins of the castle, Mulan couldn’t help but feel used and unloved. They had always been going to save Aurora but that didn’t mean that Philip had to be with her. That didn’t mean he couldn’t choose her over Aurora. Unless Philip had never intended to be with her, never loved her. Had she merely been a plaything to him? Something to keep him warm at night? Had his heart always belonged to Aurora?
Mulan spurred her horse onwards at the thought and spun him around to block Philip’s path. She flung herself from the saddle and Philip, who had to practically rear his horse up on its hind legs so as not to trample her, did the same.
As if reading her thoughts, he shouted, “What Mulan? What do you want me to say? You know we can’t be together.”
Mulan was pacing the width of the path to control her angry energy as she said, “Because of sleeping beauty?”
“Yes, I...there is a part of me that wishes it could be different. A larger part than I am willing to admit, but that doesn’t change anything. I must still awaken her with true love’s kiss. I must still marry her. I must do what I have to.”
Mulan grimaced in pain and said, quietly, “If you knew things were going to be this way, why did you start it at all? Why put me through this pain? Is it fun for you?” She was yelling now, causing the horses to whiny in fear at the sound. “To watch me suffer?”
“No, no, of course not! Mulan, I...wanted--no--I want you. I want to be with you, but can’t you see?! I have been promised to Aurora ever since I was a child. We are supposed to unite our kingdoms and bring prosperity to the lands. I have to do what my family expects of me. I have to follow my path. I must do my duty no matter what I feel. You of all people should understand that.”
“Duty is important but it isn’t everything, Philip. It is not meant to be followed blindly and I am living proof of that. Your...your lands don’t even exist anymore to reunite. Everything is different now! How can you not see that?” Mulan could feel the tears burning behind her eyes but prevented a single one from falling. She was a hardened warrior who knew how to mask her emotions and it wasn’t like she hadn’t foreseen this conversation happening.
“You know that people need what’s comfortable now to feel safe. How can I just throw that away?”
“Because I love you Phillip!” Mulan shouted.
And then time stopped.
It was the most disconcerting sensation, being aware that you should be able to move, to speak, but not being able to do either. It was like an invisible force was holding Mulan exactly where she was. Her mind raced to find any solution to her predicament but when she could formulate no plan that didn’t require some kind of movement, she gave up. She refocused her eyes on Philip, how his arms hanging at his sides, his body taut.
Most of the following minutes, hours, days, was spent analyzing Philip’s expression, his face caught in the moment she declared her love. Mulan could tell by the upturn of his lips, the way his eyes were slightly squinted, that her words had made him happy. Yet underneath the surface of the smile, it was apparent that her words had caught him off guard. She couldn’t decide if it was her words or the ferocity with which she said them that had sparked this reaction. But the one emotion Philip hadn’t had a chance to hide was written all over his face and body. The way his shoulders were slumped forward, the way his head was angled downward, his eyes not directly looking at her. She could feel his regret from across the distance.
While a part of her was soaring with glee at the happiness in Philip’s expression, the rest of her simply felt defeated. What was he regretful for? Their time together? That he couldn’t love her back and be with her? The more she analyzed his expression the more Mulan grew morose. She tried to focus on something else and ended up reflecting back on their previous conversation. Philip’s words echoed across her mind and no matter what she did she couldn't forget them. They haunted her, followed her around the recesses of her mind. They slowly ate away at her feelings for him though, they barely made a dent. This man and his words would be the thing she would unwittingly stare at for the next 28 years.
Mulan couldn’t tell how long she had been standing in this field, staring at Philip. Each second felt like an eternity of agony. Her mind would torture her with images of a future with Philip, a world in which her family hadn’t been killed, she sometimes even thought of Shang. As time dragged on, everyone in her life, their faces, their voices, became a distant memory. Mulan even began to forget what she herself looked like, what she did, what she liked.
And just as suddenly, time started again all at once.
When their muscles relaxed, Mulan and Philip stumbled towards each other. Philip reached out and wrapped his arms around Mulan. He stroked her hair and then put some distance between them, maintaining the embrace. When Mulan met his eyes, Philip smiled at her and pulled her chin towards his face allowing their lips to touch, gently.
If Mulan had known this was to be their last kiss, she would have savored it for longer, but instead she broke the contact and turned her face away.
When he spoke, she could hear him remember what they had been talking about prior to the time freeze in the defeat of his voice as he said, “Mulan, I’m sorry...for everything.”
She internally sighed as she faced him, reaching up a hand to caress his cheek and said, “Philip...we would have been great if you hadn’t been sorry.”
When Philip didn’t respond, she stepped away from him and went to gather her horse who, unfrozen, was quietly munching on clover near the side of the road. She pulled her armored helmet with its protective mail curtain from her bag, put it on and mounted her horse. Mulan trotted gradually along the path until she heard Philip catch up with her. Then, she broke into a gallop.
* * *
The dais on which the princess was lying was bare. Mulan had expected it to be a more elaborate resting place for one so esteemed by her prince and the rest of society. She seemed small and fragile, like a spinning wheel needle would take her out easily. Of course she was beautiful but it was a classic beauty. Predictable. Mulan thought unkindly that she couldn’t see what Philip saw in this waif of a woman.
When he saw her, Philip rushed to the dias and eagerly pressed his lips against hers. Mulan would like to be able to say that she was not spiteful but in that moment she hoped that the kiss wouldn’t work. She hoped that nothing would happen and she and Philip could end this quest and remain together. They didn’t even have to go back to the camp. They could just live out their lives in the forest, fighting ogres and being in love as they had for weeks once upon a time.
Mulan saw the shockwave before she felt it, magic rippling out from their kiss and hitting her in the chest, shelving all of her thoughts. Aurora opened her eyes and sat up, focusing on her prince.
She smiled and with a cry of joy she threw her arms around him.
“I knew that you would find me!” Aurora said. Mulan could see Philip’s face light up with a smile. “Oh I love you, I love you, I love you!” Aurora said, pulling Philip to her face for another kiss.
Mulan turned away at that to tend to the horses. The princess heard the crunch of her boots and realized that someone had accompanied Philip on the quest.
“Who are you?” She demanded, with the air of one whose demands were always answered.
Mulan did not reply and continued to walk back towards the horses.
“That is my...companion. We traveled here together.” Philip told her, his eyes following Mulan’s retreat.
“Ah I see! Thank you, kind knight, for helping Philip,” she said in Mulan’s direction, and then, turning to Philip, “He must have been so brave to be the only one to help you.”
That sent Mulan’s blood boiling. She whipped around and removed her helmet, letting her dark hair cascade around her shoulders.
“A girl!” Aurora exclaimed.
Mulan ran her hand through her hair, partially because she knew Philip found it attractive and partially to drive the point home. “Woman actually,” she said in the slightly exasperated tone of one who has had to correct many others on the topic. She continued walking toward the horses, intent on actually reaching them this time, to remove herself from yet another lover’s embrace.
* * *
Mulan had thought that when Philip had awoken Aurora, choosing Aurora over her, she had truly lost him for good. But unfortunately, the worst was yet to come.
After the wraith attack, Mulan could tell something was different about Philip. His posture was stressed, the muscles in his neck tight as if they were about to face a monster. Whenever he handed her something, like flint for a fire or the reins of a horse, his hand lingered on hers. She could feel him staring at her as she did things to help create their small camp for the night.
However, she seemed to be the only one who noticed. The princess was oblivious to anything wrong with him.
When Aurora went into the woods briefly to relieve herself, Philip came up to Mulan and took her hand in his. Instantly, her brow flashed with anger and she wanted to fling her hand from his and turn away but something in his tone, his face, his body prevented her from pulling away.
Looking down, he began to trace the intricate pattern embossed into her glove as he said, “I know I can never make things right between us but I want you to know how important you are to me. How much I want you to be happy. How sorry I am...for everything.” He paused, as if deciding something, and then said, “How much I...love you.” He then sighed deeply and looked at her with such an expression of pain and love that Mulan was taken aback.
She wasn’t given the chance to respond as there was a rustling behind them and Philip moved away from her and went to unpack a saddlebag like the moment had never happened. Aurora gave her an odd expression as she passed as Mulan continued to stand there, hand outstretched, transfixed by what she had seen and been told.
* * *
Philip’s declaration and attempt at reconciliation had ignited Mulan’s hope that maybe they could be together. Maybe he just felt obligated to bring Aurora back to the camp and then he would choose her. They would be happy.
But when he disappeared into the woods that night, Mulan knew something was very wrong.
“The wraith! He must be doing this because of you!” Mulan said, her words dripping with poison before turning her back on Aurora and taking off deeper into the woods, shouting for Philip.
She found him at the bottom of a small hill, the wraith circling him. She ran up to the pair, ready to fight it off, but the look of acceptance on Philip’s face caused her to stop her charge. Aurora’s gasp of pain made Mulan realize the princess had followed her.
“I love you,” Philip whispered, barely glancing at either of them right before the wraith began to suck his soul from his body.
“Philip! Philip, no!” Aurora half shouted, half sobbed.
The reality of what was happening hit Mulan like a sharp slap across the face. Philip would be gone. He would be gone and he would not come back. Her prince’s typically smiling face was contorted in pain. His voice, usually so quiet and calm, was piercing the air in its agony.
“Philip!” she heard herself shout. Her eyes began to fill with tears, which, for the first time in a long while, she let fall silently down her cheeks. It felt as if her heart was being ripped into two, like the warmth in her body was being drained.
She couldn’t stand to watch the scene but she could not let herself look away. She knew she had to see it to seek the vengeance later. Someday she would find whoever had summoned this wraith. Someday she would destroy that person, let them suffer as much if not more than Philip was suffering now.
The wraith, filled with Philip’s soul, let his lifeless body fall to the ground as it flew into the necklace. Aurora rushed to the body and held it close to her chest, sobbing loudly. While she was distracted, Mulan wiped the tears from her cheeks and tried to focus. She watched Aurora press her lips to Philip’s. When nothing happened she tried again and again.
“It’s not going to work,” Mulan told her, surprised at the huskiness in her voice. She wished that she could have run to him, held him close to her, had the chance to mourn the way a lover should. Maybe her kiss was the true love’s kiss that would work, she thought.
But she had to remain distant. Above all else, she couldn’t let Aurora know the truth about what had happened between her and Philip. She had to let her maintain that Philip was as true and loyal to her as he had always been, no matter what her heart felt or wanted her to do.
“You’re not dead, you’re sleeping,” Aurora mumbled, clutching his body to her chest, rocking him against her as Mulan stood back and watched.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Mulan/Philip, Mulan, Philip, Aurora
Word Count: 5053
Warnings: angst, het, romance
Spoilers: 2x01
Summary: Mulan had never expected to find love on the quest to save Aurora.
Author's Notes: Originally for rodlox as part of the ouat-exchange 2012. Special thanks to glovered for her awesome beta-ing.
Philip needed help searching for his “sleeping beauty”---well he called her Aurora but everyone else in the camp called her that---and Mulan was the only one to volunteer her sword. She needed to get out of the confines of the camp. She needed to do something instead of running and hiding and worrying. She just needed to be free from it all. It also helped that Philip was the only one in the camp, aside from Lancelot, who actually acknowledged her presence and didn’t treat her like a disease that was to be avoided at all costs.
The morning they left camp there was no great send off, no celebration for the champions they were to be. They simply got blank stares from the few who were up, most likely just woken from nightmares of fleeing from their burning homes and hiding out in the woods, woods which teemed with wildlife and magic.
As they were heading out of the camp, Lancelot gave a stiff wave with a grim expression. It hadn’t really bothered Mulan much (when one bucks tradition, support and encouragement are not really expected) but she could tell the farewell was less than Philip was expecting.
Once they had gotten a good distance from the village, she ventured, “Not quite the send off you’re used to I take it?”
Philip turned on his horse to look at her, a scowl across his face.
“I wouldn’t take it too personally,” she continued, “They just think you and I are marching to an early grave. They probably think we’re unwise to leave the safety of the camp.”
“Then they know nothing of the importance of true love,” he stated as he turned back to face the open road.
They continued the rest of the day predominately in silence, only stopping to give the horses a break or rest by the river and refill their canteens. In the afternoon, as they made camp near the edge of the woods, Mulan couldn’t help thinking that she had stung Philip’s pride with her snide remarks, but she chose to let him feel hurt as long as he wanted. She was just happy to be away from the camp with its vacant eyed inhabitants. Philip’s emotions were of little consequence to her.
Just as she was musing what brooding expression Philip would give her over dinner, he appeared as if out of thin air.
“Here, go set this,” he said, handing her several lengths of rope as long as her body and walking away without further instruction. Judging by the length and strength of the rope, Philip intended her to set a rabbit snare.
As Mulan headed towards the woods, she noticed that Philip was not trying to make his own traps or follow her to make sure she set the traps correctly. He trusted her to do the work herself.
This surprised Mulan, as she had fully expected the prince to think her a weak woman who could do nothing on her own. While in the camp he had not outright ostracized her, but his lack of criticism didn’t mean he had respected her as a warrior. By giving her full range to set the traps, he was showing her that he trusted her instincts, her training and her experience. Those snide remarks about their send off were not settling as well as they had been previously.
Mulan returned several hours later, with an armful of rabbits and several lengths of rope thrown over her shoulder. Philip did not seemed surprised at her success or make any remark on it as he took a few rabbits from her arms.
“Philip, I’m sorry for earlier. It was not...the best thing I could have said at the time.”
He looked up at her from the rabbit he was skinning his expression turning serious. Then he smiled at her and responded, “I have already forgotten about it. Please, help me skin these rabbits.”
As she took her knife from her belt, Mulan couldn’t help smiling.
* * *
On the seventh evening of their journey, as she was roasting a rabbit that Philip had caught over a small fire, she heard it---a distinct booming sound in the distance. It sounded familiar, like something from a bad dream that she couldn’t quite place. As Philip was still in the woods resetting the traps, Mulan dropped the roasting rabbit into the fire, grabbed her sword and sprinted into the woods.
“Philip! Philip, where are you?” She was half-whispering, half-shouting. There was another boom, this time much closer. Whatever was the cause of it, it was big, as she also heard the sounds of trees toppling to the ground, crushing whatever lay in their path. If she didn’t find Philip quickly their quest, would over sooner than it began.
Just as she thought she should scout from the top of a tree to see better, Philip, part of a trap tangled around his neck and torso, came stumbling out of the woods. Mulan rushed over to him, relief at finding him alive and not crushed by a tree or dead evident across her features.
“Ogre?” He whispered. Part of a trap was tangled around his neck, so Mulan nodded and, using her dagger, began to cut away the ropes that prevented his full movement. Leaning into him, she had a moment to appreciate how he smelled like a mixture of sweat, the woods and something she couldn’t quite place. It was nice and she felt a small smile creep across her lips. At that, she stepped away hoping Philip hadn’t noticed. Thankfully he seemed too distracted by the approaching monster to pay much attention to her.
Philip glanced in her direction. “We have two options: we run or we fight,” he said.
“I only see one option: we fight,” Mulan replied, her body itching for a chance to end the monster’s existence.
“I was hoping you would say that,” Philip said, facing her with a full grin on his face before running off into the woods shouting for the monster to come find him. Mulan chased after him, feeling the small smile return to her face as she ran.
When she caught up to him, she saw that Philip had led the ogre to a small clearing and was circling it with his sword drawn, all the while shouting at the brute, confusing it. When he noticed Mulan, Philip raised a finger to his lips signaling her to be quiet. She nodded and began to silently climb a nearby tree.
The tree was sticky with sap and the branches could barely support her weight, let alone the weight of her and her armor, and as she reached for the next branch, she heard the one beneath her snap and her footing faltered. Suddenly, she was only attached to the tree by the firm grip of her right hand around the sturdy branch. She let a small gasp escape her lips, all the while suppressing a small yelp of fear. The ground seemed very far away. Mulan groped for the branch with her left hand and gradually, quietly, pulled herself up onto the branch. She took a deep breath to center herself and then continued her climb.
When she was about even with the monster’s shoulder, she took a breath and lunged from the tree branch and onto the ogre’s back.
The ogre instantly forgot about Philip and began reaching around, clawing at the air, desperately trying to pull Mulan off of its back.
Noticing Mulan was in trouble, Philip thrust his sword at the monster’s legs and feet while shouting, pulling the ogre’s attention back to him. This gave Mulan enough of a window to regain balance on the monster’s shoulder and, holding onto its ear, lean out so that just her toes and left hand remained on the ogre’s shoulder. Putting some momentum behind it, Mulan swung around and pushed her sword through its eye with as much force as she could muster.
The ogre let out a vicious scream and then crashed to the ground. Mulan clung tightly to the monster’s shoulder and fell hard into its back.
“Are you alright?” Philip asked, holding her sword in one hand and reaching out with the other to help her up. It took Mulan a moment to regain her senses and register her proximity to the ground as well as the blood dripping from her sword as an indication that they had won. She took his hand and allowed herself to be pulled into a tight hug.
As soon as he released her, Philip shouted, “That was brilliant! I have never felt so alive!” He then began to praise her various maneuvers all the while acting them out.
Mulan chuckled lightly at his outburst and taking her sword, shouted a traditional victory cry from her warrior days, “Honor brings victory! Victory brings peace! Peace brings prosperity and joy!”
* * *
Fighting an ogre together had revealed Philip and Mulan had more in common than they thought. While the continued with their journey, they chatted for hours about their former battles and victories to see who was more cunning, brave, or in some cases stupid. Mulan loved talking tactics with Philip. He always shed a new perspective and new angle to her plans. She hadn’t met anyone who could keep up with her strategies since the war.
But quickly the conversations became more personal. They talked about their families, their former lives and eventually, as they sat around the fire at camp one night, they came around to the topic of past loves.
“Is there some great love of yours, waiting for you back at camp?” Philip asked.
Mulan faltered in removing her hair from its elaborate prison of a braid but quickly regained her composure. “No,” she said though after a lull she continued, “Well, there was someone once. But that was long ago.”
“I see,” Philip prompted. He came and stood next to her, gently taking her braid from her hands to untangle it. Mulan was surprised at his familiarity and in that secret place in her heart she was excited at his touch. Despite how close they had become over the past weeks, Philip still maintained some physical distance from her.
“His...his name was Shang” she started as Philip gently untangled the strips of hair that formed the braid, running his fingers through it to remove the knots.
“We fought in the war together. Actually, he started out as my trainer and he didn’t know that I was a woman but, well, one night he found out. But he didn’t tell anyone.” She laughed quietly.
When Mulan didn’t continue, Philip asked quietly, “What happened to him?”
“The ogres ended his life as we were defending our homeland together,” she said solemnly.
Philip had finished removing all the knots and was now running his fingers through her silky hair. Mulan sighed and turned to face him, noting how close they were, before continuing, “You know, I haven’t thought about Shang in a long time. It’s good to remember him. Thank you...for asking.” Her mouth twisted into a small smile as she looked up at him. Philip’s expression, while somewhat pleased with making Mulan smile, was very serious, as if he was weighing many options and their consequences.
He kissed her fiercely as if she were the only person in the world he wanted to kiss. At first Mulan was surprised at his boldness but only briefly as she returned his kiss with just as much passion. His tongue flicked across her lips seeking entrance, to which Mulan was happy to oblige. They fought for dominance, their tongues sparring as if they were dueling.
Mulan removed her leather gloves, tossing them aside, and began to explore Philip’s face with her touch. The stubble on his cheeks felt rough against her palms, his hair soft. Philip too had removed his gloves and he unclasped Mulan’s cloak, pooling it on the ground. His hands fumbled with her wide belt that kept her armor tight against her and, when it was free, brushed her shoulder armor to the ground.
Abruptly, Philip broke the kiss and pushed her away to hold her at arm’s length. Mulan frowned, and knew that the pain she was feeling at his snub had to be evident in her expression.
“Are you sure about this?” Philip asked, looking closely into her eyes.
“Philip,” she said, “There is nothing I have wanted more than this these last few weeks. You and I, we are more than I had ever thought we could be. They way we talk, they way we fight---we fit.”
That seemed to be all the confirmation that Philip needed. With that, Philip removed his chainmail neck protection, cloak and breastplate. While Mulan unlaced the rest of her chestplate, Philip spread his cloak onto a soft patch of ground near a group of trees.
Mulan flicked off her boots and came over to him, and sat comfortably on the cloak next to him. She pulled him into another kiss, starting off slow and chaste before pressing her lips to his intensely.
Her heart was racing as she gradually pulled him down on top of her. She had never felt like this with anyone, not even Shang, and she never wanted it to end. In that moment, both Philip and Mulan forgot that their ultimate quest was to free Aurora, Philip’s one true love, from her slumbering prison.
When they were through, Philip wrapped the both in his cloak, encircling Mulan with his arms and burying his face in her hair.
Mulan was surprised. She assumed that Philip would instantly leave her and renounce what had happened, spouting his true love for Aurora all the while. But he didn’t.
In fact he never did. Every night after that they spent together, warm, not only in Philip’s cloak but in their hearts as well. They never mentioned the goal of their quest in full detail again but as the days marched on, so too did the inevitable reunion of Aurora and Philip. Mulan felt conflicted inside. They were trying to save Aurora, that hadn’t changed, but a part of her (a large one) wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as it would last. She simply let herself be happy and hoped that maybe things would work out the way that she dreamed they would each night when wrapped in Philip’s embrace, staring up at the stars.
The day the castle where Aurora rested broke the horizon, the dream began to crack. Philip became more and more withdrawn from Mulan, avoiding her eyes and her concern. No matter what Mulan did, be it surprising him with a kiss or nice gesture, there was nothing she could do to make him smile again.
And the day that they were to reach the castle, Mulan awoke alone in Philip’s cloak. It was strange, as Philip usually placed kisses as soft as a butterfly’s touch upon her face to awaken her. When she opened her eyes, she could see that he was already dressed and packing up the horses for the day’s ride.
“Philip,” she called, as she brushed her hair over one shoulder and let Philip’s cloak cover only her naked torso, “Why don’t you come back and rest with me?”
He looked at her, the desire and affection clear in his face, but there was also something more. Sadness clouded his features in a way she had never seen before. His eyes looked tired, his lips were downturned in a slight frown. He seemed to have lost a great internal struggle as he said, “We really should get going.”
Mulan turned away from him to mask the pain on her face. As she reached for her clothing, she used the cloak to cover herself as, for the first time in a long time, she felt truly naked in front of Philip.
* * *
As they trotted along the path towards the ruins of the castle, Mulan couldn’t help but feel used and unloved. They had always been going to save Aurora but that didn’t mean that Philip had to be with her. That didn’t mean he couldn’t choose her over Aurora. Unless Philip had never intended to be with her, never loved her. Had she merely been a plaything to him? Something to keep him warm at night? Had his heart always belonged to Aurora?
Mulan spurred her horse onwards at the thought and spun him around to block Philip’s path. She flung herself from the saddle and Philip, who had to practically rear his horse up on its hind legs so as not to trample her, did the same.
As if reading her thoughts, he shouted, “What Mulan? What do you want me to say? You know we can’t be together.”
Mulan was pacing the width of the path to control her angry energy as she said, “Because of sleeping beauty?”
“Yes, I...there is a part of me that wishes it could be different. A larger part than I am willing to admit, but that doesn’t change anything. I must still awaken her with true love’s kiss. I must still marry her. I must do what I have to.”
Mulan grimaced in pain and said, quietly, “If you knew things were going to be this way, why did you start it at all? Why put me through this pain? Is it fun for you?” She was yelling now, causing the horses to whiny in fear at the sound. “To watch me suffer?”
“No, no, of course not! Mulan, I...wanted--no--I want you. I want to be with you, but can’t you see?! I have been promised to Aurora ever since I was a child. We are supposed to unite our kingdoms and bring prosperity to the lands. I have to do what my family expects of me. I have to follow my path. I must do my duty no matter what I feel. You of all people should understand that.”
“Duty is important but it isn’t everything, Philip. It is not meant to be followed blindly and I am living proof of that. Your...your lands don’t even exist anymore to reunite. Everything is different now! How can you not see that?” Mulan could feel the tears burning behind her eyes but prevented a single one from falling. She was a hardened warrior who knew how to mask her emotions and it wasn’t like she hadn’t foreseen this conversation happening.
“You know that people need what’s comfortable now to feel safe. How can I just throw that away?”
“Because I love you Phillip!” Mulan shouted.
And then time stopped.
It was the most disconcerting sensation, being aware that you should be able to move, to speak, but not being able to do either. It was like an invisible force was holding Mulan exactly where she was. Her mind raced to find any solution to her predicament but when she could formulate no plan that didn’t require some kind of movement, she gave up. She refocused her eyes on Philip, how his arms hanging at his sides, his body taut.
Most of the following minutes, hours, days, was spent analyzing Philip’s expression, his face caught in the moment she declared her love. Mulan could tell by the upturn of his lips, the way his eyes were slightly squinted, that her words had made him happy. Yet underneath the surface of the smile, it was apparent that her words had caught him off guard. She couldn’t decide if it was her words or the ferocity with which she said them that had sparked this reaction. But the one emotion Philip hadn’t had a chance to hide was written all over his face and body. The way his shoulders were slumped forward, the way his head was angled downward, his eyes not directly looking at her. She could feel his regret from across the distance.
While a part of her was soaring with glee at the happiness in Philip’s expression, the rest of her simply felt defeated. What was he regretful for? Their time together? That he couldn’t love her back and be with her? The more she analyzed his expression the more Mulan grew morose. She tried to focus on something else and ended up reflecting back on their previous conversation. Philip’s words echoed across her mind and no matter what she did she couldn't forget them. They haunted her, followed her around the recesses of her mind. They slowly ate away at her feelings for him though, they barely made a dent. This man and his words would be the thing she would unwittingly stare at for the next 28 years.
Mulan couldn’t tell how long she had been standing in this field, staring at Philip. Each second felt like an eternity of agony. Her mind would torture her with images of a future with Philip, a world in which her family hadn’t been killed, she sometimes even thought of Shang. As time dragged on, everyone in her life, their faces, their voices, became a distant memory. Mulan even began to forget what she herself looked like, what she did, what she liked.
And just as suddenly, time started again all at once.
When their muscles relaxed, Mulan and Philip stumbled towards each other. Philip reached out and wrapped his arms around Mulan. He stroked her hair and then put some distance between them, maintaining the embrace. When Mulan met his eyes, Philip smiled at her and pulled her chin towards his face allowing their lips to touch, gently.
If Mulan had known this was to be their last kiss, she would have savored it for longer, but instead she broke the contact and turned her face away.
When he spoke, she could hear him remember what they had been talking about prior to the time freeze in the defeat of his voice as he said, “Mulan, I’m sorry...for everything.”
She internally sighed as she faced him, reaching up a hand to caress his cheek and said, “Philip...we would have been great if you hadn’t been sorry.”
When Philip didn’t respond, she stepped away from him and went to gather her horse who, unfrozen, was quietly munching on clover near the side of the road. She pulled her armored helmet with its protective mail curtain from her bag, put it on and mounted her horse. Mulan trotted gradually along the path until she heard Philip catch up with her. Then, she broke into a gallop.
* * *
The dais on which the princess was lying was bare. Mulan had expected it to be a more elaborate resting place for one so esteemed by her prince and the rest of society. She seemed small and fragile, like a spinning wheel needle would take her out easily. Of course she was beautiful but it was a classic beauty. Predictable. Mulan thought unkindly that she couldn’t see what Philip saw in this waif of a woman.
When he saw her, Philip rushed to the dias and eagerly pressed his lips against hers. Mulan would like to be able to say that she was not spiteful but in that moment she hoped that the kiss wouldn’t work. She hoped that nothing would happen and she and Philip could end this quest and remain together. They didn’t even have to go back to the camp. They could just live out their lives in the forest, fighting ogres and being in love as they had for weeks once upon a time.
Mulan saw the shockwave before she felt it, magic rippling out from their kiss and hitting her in the chest, shelving all of her thoughts. Aurora opened her eyes and sat up, focusing on her prince.
She smiled and with a cry of joy she threw her arms around him.
“I knew that you would find me!” Aurora said. Mulan could see Philip’s face light up with a smile. “Oh I love you, I love you, I love you!” Aurora said, pulling Philip to her face for another kiss.
Mulan turned away at that to tend to the horses. The princess heard the crunch of her boots and realized that someone had accompanied Philip on the quest.
“Who are you?” She demanded, with the air of one whose demands were always answered.
Mulan did not reply and continued to walk back towards the horses.
“That is my...companion. We traveled here together.” Philip told her, his eyes following Mulan’s retreat.
“Ah I see! Thank you, kind knight, for helping Philip,” she said in Mulan’s direction, and then, turning to Philip, “He must have been so brave to be the only one to help you.”
That sent Mulan’s blood boiling. She whipped around and removed her helmet, letting her dark hair cascade around her shoulders.
“A girl!” Aurora exclaimed.
Mulan ran her hand through her hair, partially because she knew Philip found it attractive and partially to drive the point home. “Woman actually,” she said in the slightly exasperated tone of one who has had to correct many others on the topic. She continued walking toward the horses, intent on actually reaching them this time, to remove herself from yet another lover’s embrace.
* * *
Mulan had thought that when Philip had awoken Aurora, choosing Aurora over her, she had truly lost him for good. But unfortunately, the worst was yet to come.
After the wraith attack, Mulan could tell something was different about Philip. His posture was stressed, the muscles in his neck tight as if they were about to face a monster. Whenever he handed her something, like flint for a fire or the reins of a horse, his hand lingered on hers. She could feel him staring at her as she did things to help create their small camp for the night.
However, she seemed to be the only one who noticed. The princess was oblivious to anything wrong with him.
When Aurora went into the woods briefly to relieve herself, Philip came up to Mulan and took her hand in his. Instantly, her brow flashed with anger and she wanted to fling her hand from his and turn away but something in his tone, his face, his body prevented her from pulling away.
Looking down, he began to trace the intricate pattern embossed into her glove as he said, “I know I can never make things right between us but I want you to know how important you are to me. How much I want you to be happy. How sorry I am...for everything.” He paused, as if deciding something, and then said, “How much I...love you.” He then sighed deeply and looked at her with such an expression of pain and love that Mulan was taken aback.
She wasn’t given the chance to respond as there was a rustling behind them and Philip moved away from her and went to unpack a saddlebag like the moment had never happened. Aurora gave her an odd expression as she passed as Mulan continued to stand there, hand outstretched, transfixed by what she had seen and been told.
* * *
Philip’s declaration and attempt at reconciliation had ignited Mulan’s hope that maybe they could be together. Maybe he just felt obligated to bring Aurora back to the camp and then he would choose her. They would be happy.
But when he disappeared into the woods that night, Mulan knew something was very wrong.
“The wraith! He must be doing this because of you!” Mulan said, her words dripping with poison before turning her back on Aurora and taking off deeper into the woods, shouting for Philip.
She found him at the bottom of a small hill, the wraith circling him. She ran up to the pair, ready to fight it off, but the look of acceptance on Philip’s face caused her to stop her charge. Aurora’s gasp of pain made Mulan realize the princess had followed her.
“I love you,” Philip whispered, barely glancing at either of them right before the wraith began to suck his soul from his body.
“Philip! Philip, no!” Aurora half shouted, half sobbed.
The reality of what was happening hit Mulan like a sharp slap across the face. Philip would be gone. He would be gone and he would not come back. Her prince’s typically smiling face was contorted in pain. His voice, usually so quiet and calm, was piercing the air in its agony.
“Philip!” she heard herself shout. Her eyes began to fill with tears, which, for the first time in a long while, she let fall silently down her cheeks. It felt as if her heart was being ripped into two, like the warmth in her body was being drained.
She couldn’t stand to watch the scene but she could not let herself look away. She knew she had to see it to seek the vengeance later. Someday she would find whoever had summoned this wraith. Someday she would destroy that person, let them suffer as much if not more than Philip was suffering now.
The wraith, filled with Philip’s soul, let his lifeless body fall to the ground as it flew into the necklace. Aurora rushed to the body and held it close to her chest, sobbing loudly. While she was distracted, Mulan wiped the tears from her cheeks and tried to focus. She watched Aurora press her lips to Philip’s. When nothing happened she tried again and again.
“It’s not going to work,” Mulan told her, surprised at the huskiness in her voice. She wished that she could have run to him, held him close to her, had the chance to mourn the way a lover should. Maybe her kiss was the true love’s kiss that would work, she thought.
But she had to remain distant. Above all else, she couldn’t let Aurora know the truth about what had happened between her and Philip. She had to let her maintain that Philip was as true and loyal to her as he had always been, no matter what her heart felt or wanted her to do.
“You’re not dead, you’re sleeping,” Aurora mumbled, clutching his body to her chest, rocking him against her as Mulan stood back and watched.