[for Lucy]

[onceaqueen]

It was just two days since her conversation with Jon about the baby (Susan could hardly believe she was actually thinking those words, the baby) and she thought it was time to share the news with Lucy. Lucy had asked her several times if she and Jon were planning to have children, and while she didn't seem to be exactly keen on the idea, it was

Comments

[youngestqueen]

Lucy grinned when she saw Susan at work in the garden. She should likely help with that, she'd thought to herself on other occasions and seeing her sister there reminded her. "Yes," She put her canvas bag down at the front step and skipped over to where Susan was. "I could help you know. With the garden."

[onceaqueen]

"You're certainly welcome to if you like, though I really don't mind the work," said Susan, sitting back a bit. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about." She patted the grass beside her. "Come and sit a bit."

[youngestqueen]

"It would be good, to help out." It would be comforting in a way, make her feel more a part of this place they shared. She tucked her legs and her dress underneath herself as she sat, her curiosity piqued. "What was it about?"

[onceaqueen]

"Well," she said nervously, "I have something to tell you, something quite wonderful, actually, and I couldn't really wait any longer." She smiled, a curious mixture of shy and elated. "I'm going to have a baby."

[youngestqueen]

"Oh." Lucy looked down at her hands in her lap, her mind all a swirl with so many things. But she knew she should be excited, this was her sister, and this was good news. Part of her was excited too, but part of her was upset. Upset that she'd have to share her sister more now, for all sorts of reasons that were selfish and not very nice. Trying to smile she looked up at her sister, "That's wonderful. Congratulations."

[onceaqueen]

Susan could tell that Lucy's smile wasn't entirely genuine, which was a rare thing for Lucy, and she touched Lucy's shoulder gently. "You can tell me, you know, if you aren't entirely happy about this," she said.

[youngestqueen]

"I shouldn't be bothered by it, its silly of me." She knew it was ungracious, but she couldn't swallow it down, this feeling of worry. "Its wonderful news Susan, it is."

[onceaqueen]

Susan had hoped Lucy would be a bit happier about the news, but it wasn't as though she could be angry at her for her reaction. Still, there was no point in pushing it. "You're going to be an aunt," she said hesitantly. "I'm definitely going to need your help."

[youngestqueen]

"Of course," Lucy's smile was becoming less stiff with each moment. Truthfully this was family, and there was nothing in the world more important than family. "I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother."

[onceaqueen]

Susan looked down at her hands, folded in her lap. "I want to be," she said. "I really want to do the best I can, but I'm nervous. I wish... I wish Mum were here." It wasn't as though she wouldn't have anyone to talk to, of course; there was Pam and Lyanna and Sansa, and the doctors in the clinic, but she wished so much for her mother just then that it was almost like an ache.

[youngestqueen]

"She could still come. Mum. You never know." Lucy's hand found Susan's in the other's lap. "I'm sure you'll be wonderful."

[onceaqueen]

It was selfish to wish for that, though, Susan was certain; Mother would be much more comfortable at home with a proper kitchen and her own bed than she would be living on an island like this, and oh the strange weekends would be so hard on her. But Susan thought this was one of those times when a girl would really want her mother. "I just want to do things right," said Susan. "And not make any sorts of mistakes."

[youngestqueen]

Lucy could have done many things. She could have sulked, or told her sister it would all be well. Instead she looked up at her, the age she had lived showing through the age she was. "We all make mistakes Susan. You and Jon will love this baby, won't you? Our parents, when they had Peter than you, I don't know they could be any better prepared." Swallowing the last of her selfish concerns she continued to hold her sister's eyes. "Besides, you'll have me, and all of Jon's family."

[onceaqueen]

"Oh, we will love this baby, very much," Susan said earnestly, with a flush of emotion that caught her off guard. "I already do, even though I'm still not quite used to the idea - I feel like he or she is someone I've been waiting all my life to meet, almost." Her hand that wasn't holding Lucy's spread over her belly, an almost protective gesture she wasn't even aware of making. She turned a fond smile, tinged with the still-unfamiliar emotion of impending motherhood, on her sister. "I'm so glad you're here," she said quietly. "I can't imagine doing this without you."

[youngestqueen]

"I'm glad I am too." At that moment, more than any time before, it was true. For any misgivings she may have had, she wanted to share this with her sister. This sister. The one the island had brought back to her.

[onceaqueen]

It dawned on Susan then what might perhaps be the reason for Lucy's reaction, and while she wasn't completely certain, she could still address it - for if she was right, it was something she would need to reassure her sister of as best she could. "Oh, Lucy, you know that no matter how much I love this baby, or how many children Jon and I eventually have, it will not make me love you any less. You do know that, don't you?"