Growing up and growing apart...
I think I've kind of reconnected with someone here. I don't know for sure if it her, but yeah all the same.
It's funny how growing up people can grow apart. It's sad to say, but my friends in high school probably won't be my friends in college and my friends in college probably won't be my friends when I'm not in college. Just like my friends in grade school aren't really my friens in high school.... I know everybody says yeah we'll be friends forever, but forevers a long time and sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Knowing that these people will forever have an impact on your life makes a difference. The worst of friends and the best of friends. They were still a part of your life that you can never erase. People change. I know I've changed... **** I've gone from wells lets see...
No specific order here (that would just take to long... LOL) bully, bitch, nice girl, slut, smoker, stoner, preppy, suicidal, loud mouth, funny girl... Probably some of you are surprised at some of this stuff, but yeah.
I was looking back at some of my stuff and I've spent at least five years thinking about killing myself. This year being the worst of all of them, as in starting mutitulaton. I cut my wrists, sometimes to try to kill myself other times to feel pain. I haven't done it in about 4 months. Which is really good, because most of the time I would spend hours just slashing my wrist, never to long that I couldn't cover up with a bracelet or something. Then I found other things to do, like pot that just made me feel like there wasn't a thing I couldn't do. Where I could turn off my brain from saying you should be dead. I lived for weekends that I could get thrashed and high, sometimes at the same time, which I might add is the best way to go. (first timers drink then smoke, otherwise you'll get sick) I looked like a pretty well adjusted kid, nobody could tell that I smoked. Everyone thought I was such a good kid. HAHAHAHA.
I'm glad to say that I've been sober and clean for 2 and 1/2 months. I gets old. I'm finally happy with how I am. I don't care what the 'A Crowd' says about me. I'm me and that's all that matters. I'm not going to change me for you and I hope you don't change you for me. I finally feel like I have and identity. I'm no longer just this girl. I have friends, like actually people I hang out with and people who I care about and they care about me.
But back to my growing up some how means growing apart. Sure you say you'll talk everyday and you do and then you talk every week and then every other week and then once a month and then before you know it a year has gone by, they're complete strangers. Don't feel guilty for not knowing for it is inevitable that you grow apart. Does this mean that you should get close to anybody... no. It took me almost 17 years to realize that. Just because you won't always talk to this person hell EVEN LIKE this person a year down the road, they still should be a part of your life. This all reminds me of a book I read that I believe people regardless of religion should read. The Five People You Meet in Heaven
People change, but it's how you affect their lives that matter. Old friends are like worn out blankets, you love them to death, but sometimes they just have to be put away and kept safe forever. Be thankful that people care enough about you to be called friends. I remember times where I didn't have friends and those were the lonelyest times ever.
I don't ever talk to people I went to grade school with. Hell I don't even talk to my old best friend, though he did hit me. Most people throw around the word friend like they do the word love.
Everyone has an affect on your life weither it be, just someone you smile at or someones shoulder to cry on.
I guess the jist of what I'm saying is people change, but that's a part of growing up. Finding out who you are and who you don't want to be....
To ALL my friends old and new, friends I don't talk to anymore, friends that I speak to everyday. I love you. You shaped how I am today. In both positive and negative ways, but I came out alright and I will always be alright. Thank you for teaching me about who I want to be or who I don't want to be. May you live your life how you want it and that you will always do what YOU want and BE who YOU want to be. Don't do things or buy things because that's what makes you like everybody else, buy thinks and do things because they make you who you are.
Maybe our paths will cross another time, but don't let who I am today, interfer with who I am tomorrow. Until that time... goodbye... for I won't be who you think I am next time I see you...
It's funny how growing up people can grow apart. It's sad to say, but my friends in high school probably won't be my friends in college and my friends in college probably won't be my friends when I'm not in college. Just like my friends in grade school aren't really my friens in high school.... I know everybody says yeah we'll be friends forever, but forevers a long time and sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Knowing that these people will forever have an impact on your life makes a difference. The worst of friends and the best of friends. They were still a part of your life that you can never erase. People change. I know I've changed... **** I've gone from wells lets see...
No specific order here (that would just take to long... LOL) bully, bitch, nice girl, slut, smoker, stoner, preppy, suicidal, loud mouth, funny girl... Probably some of you are surprised at some of this stuff, but yeah.
I was looking back at some of my stuff and I've spent at least five years thinking about killing myself. This year being the worst of all of them, as in starting mutitulaton. I cut my wrists, sometimes to try to kill myself other times to feel pain. I haven't done it in about 4 months. Which is really good, because most of the time I would spend hours just slashing my wrist, never to long that I couldn't cover up with a bracelet or something. Then I found other things to do, like pot that just made me feel like there wasn't a thing I couldn't do. Where I could turn off my brain from saying you should be dead. I lived for weekends that I could get thrashed and high, sometimes at the same time, which I might add is the best way to go. (first timers drink then smoke, otherwise you'll get sick) I looked like a pretty well adjusted kid, nobody could tell that I smoked. Everyone thought I was such a good kid. HAHAHAHA.
I'm glad to say that I've been sober and clean for 2 and 1/2 months. I gets old. I'm finally happy with how I am. I don't care what the 'A Crowd' says about me. I'm me and that's all that matters. I'm not going to change me for you and I hope you don't change you for me. I finally feel like I have and identity. I'm no longer just this girl. I have friends, like actually people I hang out with and people who I care about and they care about me.
But back to my growing up some how means growing apart. Sure you say you'll talk everyday and you do and then you talk every week and then every other week and then once a month and then before you know it a year has gone by, they're complete strangers. Don't feel guilty for not knowing for it is inevitable that you grow apart. Does this mean that you should get close to anybody... no. It took me almost 17 years to realize that. Just because you won't always talk to this person hell EVEN LIKE this person a year down the road, they still should be a part of your life. This all reminds me of a book I read that I believe people regardless of religion should read. The Five People You Meet in Heaven
People change, but it's how you affect their lives that matter. Old friends are like worn out blankets, you love them to death, but sometimes they just have to be put away and kept safe forever. Be thankful that people care enough about you to be called friends. I remember times where I didn't have friends and those were the lonelyest times ever.
I don't ever talk to people I went to grade school with. Hell I don't even talk to my old best friend, though he did hit me. Most people throw around the word friend like they do the word love.
Everyone has an affect on your life weither it be, just someone you smile at or someones shoulder to cry on.
I guess the jist of what I'm saying is people change, but that's a part of growing up. Finding out who you are and who you don't want to be....
To ALL my friends old and new, friends I don't talk to anymore, friends that I speak to everyday. I love you. You shaped how I am today. In both positive and negative ways, but I came out alright and I will always be alright. Thank you for teaching me about who I want to be or who I don't want to be. May you live your life how you want it and that you will always do what YOU want and BE who YOU want to be. Don't do things or buy things because that's what makes you like everybody else, buy thinks and do things because they make you who you are.
Maybe our paths will cross another time, but don't let who I am today, interfer with who I am tomorrow. Until that time... goodbye... for I won't be who you think I am next time I see you...