(no subject)
I'm going crazy inside will.
How come?
The distance between us. I've been committed to you and doing what I know how to do and learning new ways to handle things, and the distance just grows. Idk what else to do. I've lost faith in our situation ever changing.
I've been committed to you and our relationship since the day you showed up at my parents with that letter for "just Joelle" .... I was there while you went back and forth between the two of us for months. I took your negative opinions of me and cried quietly by myself. I watched and was there for you as you explored christianity and supported you. I continued to go out of my way so you could see the boys, effortlessly. I cooked for you and bought you groceries. I've been there for you the only way you've allowed me to be. After Xmas when we had decided to go our separate ways I had finally gotten to the point where I felt like I deserved better, even if that meant being alone/single mom for good.
I've dealt with the criticism and the comparisons of me and other girls and still I stuck by your side.
After we decided to split I started getting over you pretty quick.
strange thing happened, you wanted to be my husband? I didn't question you. I gave you the chance. You treated me so well, for the most part. But you can't hide how you really feel about me. When we moved in together I read books went to church and tried to fix my flaws because you had me convinced I was a horrible person.
I've been the one constant thing in your life. I've been supportive and I've also allowed myself to be your punching bag. Who was the person on the phone with you all those nights you felt alone? Even tho I couldn't fix things for you I was always there for everything. I've sat and watched you cry over and love other people, and I didn't condemn you for your selfishness. I'm sorry I don't always have to right things to say. I'm sorry I can't be what those other girls were to you. I'm just me. And if you think about it, that could be enough if youd allow it to be. But if you can't, then I need you to let me go. I'll always be your friend and you can still tell me anything... But idk that I can be your wife anymore.
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