the young and the restless
I'm determined this year. I start my new job in less than two weeks. I am going to save up the majority of my money so that i can go to college. a lot of my money is going to have to be used though for things such as my phone bill, insurance, gas, food, clothing etc etc. what i am going to do different this year, however, is try not to be such a selfish person. i really, really think that i am selfish. even though i try not to be, the thought is still there. that is a new year resolution going along with my other one.
i realized lately that i miss a lot of people. i miss dany. i miss sydnee. i miss joey. i miss steven. i miss hanging out with sydnee, kati, ashley, and joey at lunch. i miss not having that closeness. i no longer have a lunch, so thats really not something i can control now. i miss when people would call me just out of the blue and ask to hang out. i miss being a young child and learning to ride my bike. i miss the times when my older brother was always there for me. i miss being close with my father. remember elementary school? never having to worry about a thing? i was always the really good girl that got good grades, played on the swings and the bars during recess, and never once got her card turned. oh how things have changed.
when i was younger, i never really thought of how my life was going to change as i got older or how i would be different than i was at that time. That was all I knew, how things were THEN. My life is in no means bad right now. It is rather good. I have matured in the thought that I realize how much i really DO have and how many things I really should be grateful for. As cliche as it sounds, its true. Oh so very true. I have schooling when a lot of children in other countries cant even afford to have a pen and paper. I have a family. Even though my brother tells on me for every single thing i do wrong, when he used to be the brother that i could always run to and talk to about things. I have a boyfriend. Even though we get into arguments, he's always there for me. I have a house. What about those two homeless men i met on new years eve? or what about all the people that I cooked and served food for at Paz De Christo? Where were they all planning on staying that night? I'm sure they didnt all have a nice bed and electric blanket to go home to that night. I have a cell phone. Make that the fifth one within the past 4 months. I really do need to be more careful about that. I have freedom. There are many women in other countries that cant even show their faces in public. But me, I have the same rights as any other man or woman in this country. I can work and walk like any other person.
"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."
-Andy Warhol
"You must be the change you want to see in the world."
-Mahatma Gandhi
Taken From Joey. who tooks from Syd. Who took from Emma.
i am not: finished
i hurt: when i try not to
i love: psychology
i eat:
i hope: for the world
i hear: confusion
i crave: tea
i regret: nothing. learn, not regret.
i cry: for others
i care: about what happens to you.
i always: strive
i long to: find true nirvana
i feel alone: sometimes.
i listen: to things you cant hear
i hide: my emotions
i drive: in ten days
i sing: when i mean it
i dance: when i'm happy
i write: not near as much as i'd like
i breathe: every second
i play: instruments
i miss: having someone to talk with
i search: for complete happiness
i learn: through experience
i feel: pulled from side to side
i know: things will turn out. whether it be good or bad. they will turn out.
i say: trust me.
i succeed: when i try and i know i can try no harder.
i fail: when i am lazy and dont promise myself.
i dream: every night.
i sleep: when i am tired
i wonder: about the world.
i want: the world to be happy.
i worry: about things i have no control over
i have: dreams and aspirations.
i give: freely
i fight: as little as possible
i wait: for you to understand
i need: tea
i am: genuine. i'd say.
i think: too much
i can't: give up
i stay: here.
i realized lately that i miss a lot of people. i miss dany. i miss sydnee. i miss joey. i miss steven. i miss hanging out with sydnee, kati, ashley, and joey at lunch. i miss not having that closeness. i no longer have a lunch, so thats really not something i can control now. i miss when people would call me just out of the blue and ask to hang out. i miss being a young child and learning to ride my bike. i miss the times when my older brother was always there for me. i miss being close with my father. remember elementary school? never having to worry about a thing? i was always the really good girl that got good grades, played on the swings and the bars during recess, and never once got her card turned. oh how things have changed.
when i was younger, i never really thought of how my life was going to change as i got older or how i would be different than i was at that time. That was all I knew, how things were THEN. My life is in no means bad right now. It is rather good. I have matured in the thought that I realize how much i really DO have and how many things I really should be grateful for. As cliche as it sounds, its true. Oh so very true. I have schooling when a lot of children in other countries cant even afford to have a pen and paper. I have a family. Even though my brother tells on me for every single thing i do wrong, when he used to be the brother that i could always run to and talk to about things. I have a boyfriend. Even though we get into arguments, he's always there for me. I have a house. What about those two homeless men i met on new years eve? or what about all the people that I cooked and served food for at Paz De Christo? Where were they all planning on staying that night? I'm sure they didnt all have a nice bed and electric blanket to go home to that night. I have a cell phone. Make that the fifth one within the past 4 months. I really do need to be more careful about that. I have freedom. There are many women in other countries that cant even show their faces in public. But me, I have the same rights as any other man or woman in this country. I can work and walk like any other person.
"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."
-Andy Warhol
"You must be the change you want to see in the world."
-Mahatma Gandhi
Taken From Joey. who tooks from Syd. Who took from Emma.
i am not: finished
i hurt: when i try not to
i love: psychology
i eat:
i hope: for the world
i hear: confusion
i crave: tea
i regret: nothing. learn, not regret.
i cry: for others
i care: about what happens to you.
i always: strive
i long to: find true nirvana
i feel alone: sometimes.
i listen: to things you cant hear
i hide: my emotions
i drive: in ten days
i sing: when i mean it
i dance: when i'm happy
i write: not near as much as i'd like
i breathe: every second
i play: instruments
i miss: having someone to talk with
i search: for complete happiness
i learn: through experience
i feel: pulled from side to side
i know: things will turn out. whether it be good or bad. they will turn out.
i say: trust me.
i succeed: when i try and i know i can try no harder.
i fail: when i am lazy and dont promise myself.
i dream: every night.
i sleep: when i am tired
i wonder: about the world.
i want: the world to be happy.
i worry: about things i have no control over
i have: dreams and aspirations.
i give: freely
i fight: as little as possible
i wait: for you to understand
i need: tea
i am: genuine. i'd say.
i think: too much
i can't: give up
i stay: here.