free from the life that you knew...
i am completely overstuffed with food right now.
today we were thinking and thinking of stuff to do with ourselves and everything was brought back to food.
italian ices (pink lemonade is impressive), the diner, the ground round (even without food), and applebee's.
all in the course of one day.
it was actually insanely funny and eventful none the less. worth it to me.
ground round was so scary. we didn't get food and ran out of it. well,i ran, the others walk. and the constant references to 'we' include myself, maggie, and jamie. too much sarcasm to handle.
okay, so let's talk about yesterday.
we started off going to the beach but didn't cause the weather was crappy so we (katie, laura, and i) ended up going to friendly's and hanging out at laura's till later on when i had to go get a haircut. the i met a bunch of people up at starbuck's and we went to see The Village.
i loved the movie.
things have been wiered lately for me. i know i say that a lot, but i'm saying it because i think it's the truth. it's becoming a struggle working with friends because of the different groups i hangout with. i never thought it would get this difficult but it has. jealousy and wierdness just make things oh so difficult for me.
a part of me says that i shouldn't get too personal on here but at the same time, it is my choice what i say on here and at the end of the day, i could delete it if someone gets offended or angry at me because of anything i say. oh well.
by the way, my sister got her haircut too, she got bangs. i like how they look.
back to what i was saying. i don't know how to impress people or care for people or know what someone wants without them telling me. i don't know what kind of person that makes me, but i think that's how it is for me. i know i'm a good person, i think i am. if i ever got into a relationship, i think i'd be excellent, but it's hard for me to find a boundary in things. i'm talking myself in circle and not applying anything to anything else.
i guess. i mean, when friends expect more than you know how to do or thought you were able to do, things get wierd. wow, i do sound like the most confusing thing in the textbook.
oh well, this is my journal and i can say whatever i want, even if it is extremely difficult to understand. sometimes i don't even realize what i'm typing until i am done typing them already and i have no desire to delete it because somewhere in me, that was dying to get out.
'do you read what they're saying about you? that you're no fun since the war was won in fact you have become all of the things you've always run from'
'i want to hear what you have to say about me, that you'll go on and live without me'
lyrics that stand out for these past days.
i need to do more to make myself happy. i should be happy. i like to sing and dance even if i'm not the best at it, i'm still going to do it no matter what. and even if i had the worst day of my life, i can sit wherever i want and listen to the songs that make me happy and i will be happy even if everyone else in the world is hurting. i guess that's selfish of me. but i'm trying out the world from a self preservation view. call me crazy.
so that was done yesterday, i just didn't post it because i didn't feel like it...so yesterday as compared today...what happened...
andrea asked me to go out so i did. it was a good time. her friend jessica was there and later on, joe came as well. we were bored so we walked to blockbuster and finally rented THE WIZ!!! which was totally amazing.
at blockbuster, i ran into jeff and lizzy, it made me happy. they're good people :).
at andrea's we watched the wiz!! and absolutely fell in love with it. EASE ON DOWN EASE ON DOWN THE ROOAAAD!!! ::ARMS FLAILING::
so to today....
i didn't do anything really until 9:00. i sorta moped around and went swimming for a little bit, then i fell asleep. i woke up and had some messages to call katie's phone, so i did. and lauren, laura, g-unit (emily), and laura came to pick me up, with katie of course driving.
we didn't know what to do so we decided that sayville was the best bet because we always do. in starbuck's we saw jackie, michelle, cat, and nicole which was fun. we chatted with them for a little while.
i also saw jeff and lizzy again because they are stalking me haha, i also met their friend lisa and later on dave.
i guess that's when things started getting wierd for me. there were two groups of friends, in the same spot. (oh yeah, we met up with jamie and megan also at starbucks)
i mean, i tried my best to talk to everyone but i guess with a sleuth of dirty looks, disgruntled faces, and just attitude shifts as well as not like acknowledging me, one could take a hint.
maybe i've overthinking and no one was mad. i know for sure who wasn't but i also know for sure who definately is mad at me.
i really don't know what to do.
i'm not going to give up trying to hangout with everyone as much as i can. i can't just like be like, i don't know. hard to explain.
THE BABY IS UNNATURALLY GREEN!
TAKE IT AWAY!
TAKE IT AWAY!
SO YOU SEE IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN EASY
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!!
well, i kinda just stopped and thought that at the end of the day, at least i'll have my music to come back too even if i can't sing it well hahaha. i'll always have my pretend i'm a rockstar moments.
call me a loser.
i have it to look forward too whenever i want it.
i really don't know how to like live life haha. as stupid as that sounds, it always seems that i am doing something wrong to someone as one time or another even if i think i'm doing nothing wrong, there's always something that someone else picks up on. and everyone says not to care but how can you not, i don't know. i really am one big pile of contradiction.
FEELING THINGS I'VE NEVER FELT
THOUGHT I NEVER SHOW IT
I'D BE SO HAPPY I COULD MELT
THE WIZARD! AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!
i needed more tunes to complete this.
i don't even know why i'm typing in here.
i know what makes me happy and what doesn't.
this entry is too long for me.
i wish i could put a picture on here to end it but i am too lazy to do that right now.
so i'll just quit right now before i get any more confusing.
LET'S JUST SAY
I LOATHE IT ALL!!!
later days everyone.
today we were thinking and thinking of stuff to do with ourselves and everything was brought back to food.
italian ices (pink lemonade is impressive), the diner, the ground round (even without food), and applebee's.
all in the course of one day.
it was actually insanely funny and eventful none the less. worth it to me.
ground round was so scary. we didn't get food and ran out of it. well,i ran, the others walk. and the constant references to 'we' include myself, maggie, and jamie. too much sarcasm to handle.
okay, so let's talk about yesterday.
we started off going to the beach but didn't cause the weather was crappy so we (katie, laura, and i) ended up going to friendly's and hanging out at laura's till later on when i had to go get a haircut. the i met a bunch of people up at starbuck's and we went to see The Village.
i loved the movie.
things have been wiered lately for me. i know i say that a lot, but i'm saying it because i think it's the truth. it's becoming a struggle working with friends because of the different groups i hangout with. i never thought it would get this difficult but it has. jealousy and wierdness just make things oh so difficult for me.
a part of me says that i shouldn't get too personal on here but at the same time, it is my choice what i say on here and at the end of the day, i could delete it if someone gets offended or angry at me because of anything i say. oh well.
by the way, my sister got her haircut too, she got bangs. i like how they look.
back to what i was saying. i don't know how to impress people or care for people or know what someone wants without them telling me. i don't know what kind of person that makes me, but i think that's how it is for me. i know i'm a good person, i think i am. if i ever got into a relationship, i think i'd be excellent, but it's hard for me to find a boundary in things. i'm talking myself in circle and not applying anything to anything else.
i guess. i mean, when friends expect more than you know how to do or thought you were able to do, things get wierd. wow, i do sound like the most confusing thing in the textbook.
oh well, this is my journal and i can say whatever i want, even if it is extremely difficult to understand. sometimes i don't even realize what i'm typing until i am done typing them already and i have no desire to delete it because somewhere in me, that was dying to get out.
'do you read what they're saying about you? that you're no fun since the war was won in fact you have become all of the things you've always run from'
'i want to hear what you have to say about me, that you'll go on and live without me'
lyrics that stand out for these past days.
i need to do more to make myself happy. i should be happy. i like to sing and dance even if i'm not the best at it, i'm still going to do it no matter what. and even if i had the worst day of my life, i can sit wherever i want and listen to the songs that make me happy and i will be happy even if everyone else in the world is hurting. i guess that's selfish of me. but i'm trying out the world from a self preservation view. call me crazy.
so that was done yesterday, i just didn't post it because i didn't feel like it...so yesterday as compared today...what happened...
andrea asked me to go out so i did. it was a good time. her friend jessica was there and later on, joe came as well. we were bored so we walked to blockbuster and finally rented THE WIZ!!! which was totally amazing.
at blockbuster, i ran into jeff and lizzy, it made me happy. they're good people :).
at andrea's we watched the wiz!! and absolutely fell in love with it. EASE ON DOWN EASE ON DOWN THE ROOAAAD!!! ::ARMS FLAILING::
so to today....
i didn't do anything really until 9:00. i sorta moped around and went swimming for a little bit, then i fell asleep. i woke up and had some messages to call katie's phone, so i did. and lauren, laura, g-unit (emily), and laura came to pick me up, with katie of course driving.
we didn't know what to do so we decided that sayville was the best bet because we always do. in starbuck's we saw jackie, michelle, cat, and nicole which was fun. we chatted with them for a little while.
i also saw jeff and lizzy again because they are stalking me haha, i also met their friend lisa and later on dave.
i guess that's when things started getting wierd for me. there were two groups of friends, in the same spot. (oh yeah, we met up with jamie and megan also at starbucks)
i mean, i tried my best to talk to everyone but i guess with a sleuth of dirty looks, disgruntled faces, and just attitude shifts as well as not like acknowledging me, one could take a hint.
maybe i've overthinking and no one was mad. i know for sure who wasn't but i also know for sure who definately is mad at me.
i really don't know what to do.
i'm not going to give up trying to hangout with everyone as much as i can. i can't just like be like, i don't know. hard to explain.
THE BABY IS UNNATURALLY GREEN!
TAKE IT AWAY!
TAKE IT AWAY!
SO YOU SEE IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN EASY
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!!
well, i kinda just stopped and thought that at the end of the day, at least i'll have my music to come back too even if i can't sing it well hahaha. i'll always have my pretend i'm a rockstar moments.
call me a loser.
i have it to look forward too whenever i want it.
i really don't know how to like live life haha. as stupid as that sounds, it always seems that i am doing something wrong to someone as one time or another even if i think i'm doing nothing wrong, there's always something that someone else picks up on. and everyone says not to care but how can you not, i don't know. i really am one big pile of contradiction.
FEELING THINGS I'VE NEVER FELT
THOUGHT I NEVER SHOW IT
I'D BE SO HAPPY I COULD MELT
THE WIZARD! AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!
i needed more tunes to complete this.
i don't even know why i'm typing in here.
i know what makes me happy and what doesn't.
this entry is too long for me.
i wish i could put a picture on here to end it but i am too lazy to do that right now.
so i'll just quit right now before i get any more confusing.
LET'S JUST SAY
I LOATHE IT ALL!!!
later days everyone.