And if I was a tree, I'd be a cut down tree, and if i was a bed, I'd be an unmade bed!
So I now officially reside in the heart of downtown Seattle in an awesome old-school apartment on 9th and Stewart. I have a ridiculous view of the Space Needle- you just open the blinds and it's like- Pow! Space Needled! I saw someone get arrested a block away from my building the other day, and we constantly have homeless people sleeping right below the windows. Awesomely, there is a Taco Del Mar actually attached to one side of the building, and a convenience store attached to the other side (for the purchasing of smokes.) I can easily walk to Broadway, or downtown, and my street basically is a bus stop to the U-district. All said and done, it's great. Now get this- the rent is $175 a month! I can't even handle how rich I am going to be, saving all of that cash on rent. Hopefully I can restrain myself from blowing it all on candy and records. (By candy I mean drugs, and by records I mean hot ladies.) John #2 and I have been having good times filling the fridge with wonderful food from the International District, drinking fine wine (Carlo Rossi), and arranging the furniture. Don't worry- my awesome 1970's couch that comfortably seats 8 people was salvaged. Although everything is great, and I love not living in the disgusting U-District anymore, I am dreading the departure of my favourite roomie Heather. I'm going to miss her so much, that my little black heart might just shrivel up to the size and consistency of a raisin, killing me painfully. I mean, who's hot mom am I going to make out with now? Who's going to wander to Subway with me at exactly 12:01 on Tuesdays and Saturdays? Who's going to mediate by yelling, "hey!" or "naughty mat!" when #2 and I get into fights? I can't believe that this past year is already over. At least we have all of the memories of every fuckin' crazy party, all the vagrants who crashed on the couch, and all of the late night dating show/porno/tetris marathons. Thanks to everyone who attended our rockin' going away party.
In much more tragic news, I recently learned that my favorite Chemistry graduate student- the hot rugby player who I've had a giant crush on forever- is leaving the department soon! Seriously, I'm not sure if my pain can truly be understood. I mean, first the ever-precious and magnificent Avram leaves, and now my favorite piece of Chemistry eye candy? I'm not sure if I will survive. Now who's going to make my cheeks turn pink when I pass them in the hallways of Bagley Hall? Hopefully she will at least stay throughout the summer, or I may be doomed to three months of intolerable boredom and menotony without even someone to ogle from afar. Maybe someday I will grow the balls to actually talk to her. However, I doubt it considering how much of a worthless pussy I am. There's something extremely intimidating, but extremely hot about a girl with a Phd in something nerdy like Chemistry who could blatantly kick your ass. If Kim (the receptionist/my therapist) ever leaves, I'm totally quitting.
Finally, I have been really worried about Rosemary lately. I officially command all of you to be extremely loving and supportive of her right now. Aren't you all glad that you do not have to get 2-inch incisions made inside of your vaginas? I know I sure am.
In much more tragic news, I recently learned that my favorite Chemistry graduate student- the hot rugby player who I've had a giant crush on forever- is leaving the department soon! Seriously, I'm not sure if my pain can truly be understood. I mean, first the ever-precious and magnificent Avram leaves, and now my favorite piece of Chemistry eye candy? I'm not sure if I will survive. Now who's going to make my cheeks turn pink when I pass them in the hallways of Bagley Hall? Hopefully she will at least stay throughout the summer, or I may be doomed to three months of intolerable boredom and menotony without even someone to ogle from afar. Maybe someday I will grow the balls to actually talk to her. However, I doubt it considering how much of a worthless pussy I am. There's something extremely intimidating, but extremely hot about a girl with a Phd in something nerdy like Chemistry who could blatantly kick your ass. If Kim (the receptionist/my therapist) ever leaves, I'm totally quitting.
Finally, I have been really worried about Rosemary lately. I officially command all of you to be extremely loving and supportive of her right now. Aren't you all glad that you do not have to get 2-inch incisions made inside of your vaginas? I know I sure am.