(no subject)
Hello darkness my old friend, it's good to hear from you again. I've debated several times whether to let this journal's access be granted to my girlfriend. There's nothing explosively negative in it's content about her and nothing dangerous or incriminating recently about me. It's the NOT recent part that may harm us. I've never lied to her and disclosed as much of my past to her as is appropriate, but I think that her reading the journal would construct some sort of a gateway between the past and the present, and my words hanging in front of her face in black and red would not be the words of a 18 or 21 year-old, but those of me, now. While there is little similarity in the endeavors of which I used to write and of those I now do, the literary styling would bear too much a resemblance to contrast time. In a book, the date in which it was written becomes worthless and only the content matters. You subconsciously assume that the writer has thought the same way and believed in the same things all of his life. Ayn Rand was always a libertarian to me. Orson Scott card always a sci-fi nerd. I don't want the definition of pot-head, narcissist, masochist, or weak. Now, I know she's smart enough not to definitively attach one of these words to me on purpose based off of something I wrote long ago, but the mere fact that I was able to write of those things will change some of the defaults in her mind she's configured of me.
Thus I get out of bed early when I can't sleep and leave her there in the room as I quietly tip-toe away and sneak a few lines into this electronic memory-preserver. I've told her I have it in the past, but I don't want to give her any reason to recall that fact and ask to see it.
Thus I get out of bed early when I can't sleep and leave her there in the room as I quietly tip-toe away and sneak a few lines into this electronic memory-preserver. I've told her I have it in the past, but I don't want to give her any reason to recall that fact and ask to see it.