The sharks
Work has been interesting lately. I've finally officially completed my training, which was delayed a bit due to my accident in September, and I'm managing a territory on the north-east side of Houston. The coworker whose territory I inherited switched phone numbers with me so that all of his builders and homeowners would automatically start calling me. I just have to explain to them, "No, this is not Brandon, this is Clay. We switched phone numbers because the company is restructuring and Brandon has landed himself a desk job. What can I help you with?". This is both good and bad. If we hadn't switched numbers, I would have been stuck handing out business cards for weeks and training builders to look to me for help instead of their old friendly and reliable Brandon. Gradually I would have received more calls and gradually would be more capable of handling them. It would have been a slow and easy transition. This way, however, is faster, but kind of throws me off the deep end and forces me to learn to swim. I'm somewhat appreciative of it, but nervous all the same. I'm on pins and needles every time the phone rings.
Up until this point, though, I've been able to adequately handle everything that has been asked of me. In two days, I've pretty much satisfied everybody that has called on me. This is where that leaves me:
I don't know what kind of mood to be in. My first instinct is to be proud. I think I've done a great job of helping these builders. Immediately following that emotion is my instinct to be wary. It's just a matter of time until something comes up that I can't handle. I inevitably WILL make mistakes. Everybody does. Some of my coworkers who are 2+ year veterans still have builders and homeowners yelling at them. Not as often as they did when they were rookies, I'm sure, but often enough to convince me that I will never be perfect and will never know everything in my industry.
This leaves me with a very muddy and uncertain feeling. As if you can't decide if the food you just ate has given you nausea or you're just contently full. I'm too tentative to be happy, not to mention happiness is presently unwarranted. I'm too well off to be depressed. I have too much to learn to feel content, but I'm also not all that worried. I guess if anything, I'm just anxious. I'm anxious to know more and to be known more for knowing more. I would like to just fast forward through this awkward learning process and exist half a year down the road as a seasoned territory manager. I'd like to look back on today and think, thank goodness I got through all that, because I know I will. We'll see.
Up until this point, though, I've been able to adequately handle everything that has been asked of me. In two days, I've pretty much satisfied everybody that has called on me. This is where that leaves me:
I don't know what kind of mood to be in. My first instinct is to be proud. I think I've done a great job of helping these builders. Immediately following that emotion is my instinct to be wary. It's just a matter of time until something comes up that I can't handle. I inevitably WILL make mistakes. Everybody does. Some of my coworkers who are 2+ year veterans still have builders and homeowners yelling at them. Not as often as they did when they were rookies, I'm sure, but often enough to convince me that I will never be perfect and will never know everything in my industry.
This leaves me with a very muddy and uncertain feeling. As if you can't decide if the food you just ate has given you nausea or you're just contently full. I'm too tentative to be happy, not to mention happiness is presently unwarranted. I'm too well off to be depressed. I have too much to learn to feel content, but I'm also not all that worried. I guess if anything, I'm just anxious. I'm anxious to know more and to be known more for knowing more. I would like to just fast forward through this awkward learning process and exist half a year down the road as a seasoned territory manager. I'd like to look back on today and think, thank goodness I got through all that, because I know I will. We'll see.