'Hi, my name's Courtney and I'm a New York-aholic.'
So apparently i leave for New York in five days.
It's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.
I have dreamed of this for so long. SO long. I remember my Nan reading me a book when i was little, about a red-headed girl who lived in San Francisco and would ride her bicycle across the Golden Gate Bridge with her Mum every day. I remember Nan taking me to musicals like Phantom of the Opera, West Side Story, Porgy and Bess every couple of months. She fueled my passion for the arts - Nan put this idea of America, performing and little people achieving big dreams in my head.
So here it is.
I feel like this is one of those 12 Step Programs, where you're expected to go through a melee of emotions, before reaching your goal. My first reaction to this whole adventure was, of course, unbelievable excitement.
Stage One: WOOOOHHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Little Courtney was jumping ship from Sydney, to the land of dreams. At this stage, the only certainty was that i was going to be in New York. There were no complications, just that certainly.
Stage Two: Anger. Frustration. GRrrrr! I had a billion trees worth of paperwork to fill out. Had to get a passport, had to get my birth certificate, there was a MISTAKE!!!! (WTF!) on my birth certificate, so i had to get ever piece of paper i owned that had my identity on it and take it into the Births, Deaths and Marriages Office in town. I spent hours and hours and hours researching accomodation, Craig's List, trying to find friends to stay with, trauling through the myriad of hostels and dives where i could potentially rest my head. I had to go to the US Consulate and convince them that i didn't need a VISA. [here's hoping i don't get sent home at immigration. *dies*] It just become one big forking process, and i was really quite sick of it.
Stage Three: Discomfort. Fear. Realising that it was REAL. That this was no longer a dream on my head, or words on a piece of paper. That in five days i will be on a plane, OUT of Australia, and attempting to live this dream. I can't even believe it as I'm writing it this second. It is REAL.
So. Stage Three is where I'm at.
I had an amazing chat with Ness last night [well.. i ALWAYS have amazing chats with Ness:P]. We were talking about how dreams work in two ways. One: a dream will fulfill your personal hopes and goals.. but Two: how will this dream affect your life and the people in it? What are you leaving behind? WHO are you leaving behind? What gives you the right to uproot your life, when you have people to answer to? Bosses? Friends? Family? Jobs? Love? I am definately feeling the fear right now. I'm leaving everything i know in Australia, for the mirage of dreams and opportunities in New York City. I will be alone. I don't know anyone. I will be living on my OWN for 8 weeks. I won't be able to call up Ness for a chat. Or Tash for a meltdown. Or Steph for a play. Or Tali for a coffee. Or Jo for some wisdom. Or James and Squeeze for a fanastic party. I won't be able to call Nan and say "Crap Nan!! I left my phone at home, could you bring it to Mac centre please?" I will have none of the comforts i have lived with my entire life, nor the beautiful friends that make life amazing.
So why go?
Because as much as i will miss all this here... there is a whole new world *cue Disney* that i've never seen or heard of before. There WILL be wisdom in New York. There will be friends. Coffee. Love. Support. I just have to learn to find it. I have to find what has taken me 20 years to find in Sydney in 8 weeks in New York.
Wish me luck? Hehe:)
It's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.
I have dreamed of this for so long. SO long. I remember my Nan reading me a book when i was little, about a red-headed girl who lived in San Francisco and would ride her bicycle across the Golden Gate Bridge with her Mum every day. I remember Nan taking me to musicals like Phantom of the Opera, West Side Story, Porgy and Bess every couple of months. She fueled my passion for the arts - Nan put this idea of America, performing and little people achieving big dreams in my head.
So here it is.
I feel like this is one of those 12 Step Programs, where you're expected to go through a melee of emotions, before reaching your goal. My first reaction to this whole adventure was, of course, unbelievable excitement.
Stage One: WOOOOHHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Little Courtney was jumping ship from Sydney, to the land of dreams. At this stage, the only certainty was that i was going to be in New York. There were no complications, just that certainly.
Stage Two: Anger. Frustration. GRrrrr! I had a billion trees worth of paperwork to fill out. Had to get a passport, had to get my birth certificate, there was a MISTAKE!!!! (WTF!) on my birth certificate, so i had to get ever piece of paper i owned that had my identity on it and take it into the Births, Deaths and Marriages Office in town. I spent hours and hours and hours researching accomodation, Craig's List, trying to find friends to stay with, trauling through the myriad of hostels and dives where i could potentially rest my head. I had to go to the US Consulate and convince them that i didn't need a VISA. [here's hoping i don't get sent home at immigration. *dies*] It just become one big forking process, and i was really quite sick of it.
Stage Three: Discomfort. Fear. Realising that it was REAL. That this was no longer a dream on my head, or words on a piece of paper. That in five days i will be on a plane, OUT of Australia, and attempting to live this dream. I can't even believe it as I'm writing it this second. It is REAL.
So. Stage Three is where I'm at.
I had an amazing chat with Ness last night [well.. i ALWAYS have amazing chats with Ness:P]. We were talking about how dreams work in two ways. One: a dream will fulfill your personal hopes and goals.. but Two: how will this dream affect your life and the people in it? What are you leaving behind? WHO are you leaving behind? What gives you the right to uproot your life, when you have people to answer to? Bosses? Friends? Family? Jobs? Love? I am definately feeling the fear right now. I'm leaving everything i know in Australia, for the mirage of dreams and opportunities in New York City. I will be alone. I don't know anyone. I will be living on my OWN for 8 weeks. I won't be able to call up Ness for a chat. Or Tash for a meltdown. Or Steph for a play. Or Tali for a coffee. Or Jo for some wisdom. Or James and Squeeze for a fanastic party. I won't be able to call Nan and say "Crap Nan!! I left my phone at home, could you bring it to Mac centre please?" I will have none of the comforts i have lived with my entire life, nor the beautiful friends that make life amazing.
So why go?
Because as much as i will miss all this here... there is a whole new world *cue Disney* that i've never seen or heard of before. There WILL be wisdom in New York. There will be friends. Coffee. Love. Support. I just have to learn to find it. I have to find what has taken me 20 years to find in Sydney in 8 weeks in New York.
Wish me luck? Hehe:)