(no subject)
so. i've been a little "freaked out" about my upcoming 26th birthday. not gonna lie. you know, just in a 'what the fuck do you have to SHOW for your life, julia rosendale???!' sort of way. you get what i mean, i have every confidence.
well. i just engaged in a slight odd slightly upsetting "facebook battle" of sorts with an account director from my HORRIBLE business place, the go-to-hell boutique advertising agency where i am currently employed as a receptionist/BITCH. i had only recently friended her, mind you. and this was only because now that i am past my "two weeks notice" i have grown comfortable with these assholes and come out of my shell a reasonable amount. she had just returned from a vacation in vegas, and i excitedly asked her if she "had fun? had pictures? were they on facebook and could i be her friend, if that would that be bad boundries?" (i literally said all of that, in front of every other employee in the company as i was handing out mail. #truth.)
so anyway, we've only recently become "facebook friends." and i'd like to say that she is COOL. she is a really cool girl. just absolutely, definitely. like maybe a bitch, but a fierce COOL bitch. she just got back from a vegas vaycay with her girls, for gods sake. i mean, i've done that! obviously we are secretly supposed to be friends!
so anyway, not thinking twice about it, today on my facebook i posted the following three status updates:
10:30AM: so i walked in (20 minutes late) at 9:20 to yelling and swearing. it has yet to stop. what... a great day for me to have three candidates for my replacement come in for interviews!!! #8daysleft
11:00AM: operation: stay out of everyones way & remember that i don't care about any of this... GO :)
& 2PM: loved the first girl who came in to interview! what... a pretty little sucker!
SIDENOTE: she was pretty. tiny and rich looking and pretty. i mean boring pretty, but still pretty! and everyone commented on it. and i pretty much felt like alternative UGLY BETTY. i was like, scuze, GUYS, i'm RIGHT HERE!!! and i wasn't even wearing eyeliner today, cuz that's how MASSIVELY apathetic and tired i am about my last few days at this job... and now all of my office crushes are gone... so basically i'm literally thinking to my POOR ASS, "what... a waste of makeup today was!" #truth.
anyway. staci the republican 24 year-old new hire from VIRGINIA who has ALREADY QUIT (having only been there three weeks) commented... "You are cracking me up... I hope our co-workers aren't reading your hate updates!"
to which i responded, with NO guilt, "grrl, don't front. it's not like they don't know what i'm talking about... they live it too! haha"
to which Republican Stacey (who did i mention MAKES 60K??? while i make um, 27!!!) replies, "i am telling you girl - your blog could be called "The Real Andy Sachs" ...it would be a hit - I m telling you."
and i laugh out loud and i'm all like, "hahahahaha! i should probably devote the next seven days to working on it, while i still have this WEALTH of material at my fingertips :)"
to which, new "friend," super cool super bitch account director SIMONA COMMENTS: "we can read ;)"
to which, after a brief moment of PANIC and several moments of deep insightful concentration, decide to comment: "oh snap, busted! ps. surprise, i'm a real person! and by writing on my wall for the first time ever today i assume you are trying to subtly wish me a happy administrative day! :) to which i would like to say thank you! how thoughtful."
and it really literally IS Administrative Professionals Day today... (the new "PC" version of Secretary Day.) #nojoke, #truth.
her response? 20 minutes later: "lol. yessssss!"
basically, i schooled her. also, shes apparently a celebrity party girl. or so says Staci. when i'm real life friends with her, I'LL be the judge of that, tyvm ;)
so anyway. i was just thinking about all of this. and how immature i am. but also how amazingly unphased i am by these super "too cool for school" nyc types who try to make me feel like i'm inferior... probably because i belong here too, and i'm just as fucking special and pretty as they are. hahaha. #dealwithithaters
so anyway, i was just thinking about all of this and that's when it HIT ME... DUDE... simona is THIRTY-THREE. #thirtymotherfuckingthree. and she's like, a business professional scene queen.
and that's when it hit me, i need to CHILL THE FUCK OUT, FOR SERIOUS REAL, about being old! no matter what i thought before, i am still, categorically, YOUNG! i thought to myself, "dude, you have like, at LEAST three more years of being young." and then i was like, wait, NO... i am ONLY TWENTY-FIVE... i have 26, 27, 28, AND 29... before i'm even THIRTY! that is FOUR WHOLE YEARS!!! I am SO YOUNG! FOUR MORE YEARS BEFORE I SHOULD FEEL, EVEN SLIGHTLY COMPELLED, to be an "adult-adult."
god BLESS New York.
and for the love of all things holy, encourage your inner new-yorker, if at all possible, you'll see how lucky you are and how great it is... #truth.
well. i just engaged in a slight odd slightly upsetting "facebook battle" of sorts with an account director from my HORRIBLE business place, the go-to-hell boutique advertising agency where i am currently employed as a receptionist/BITCH. i had only recently friended her, mind you. and this was only because now that i am past my "two weeks notice" i have grown comfortable with these assholes and come out of my shell a reasonable amount. she had just returned from a vacation in vegas, and i excitedly asked her if she "had fun? had pictures? were they on facebook and could i be her friend, if that would that be bad boundries?" (i literally said all of that, in front of every other employee in the company as i was handing out mail. #truth.)
so anyway, we've only recently become "facebook friends." and i'd like to say that she is COOL. she is a really cool girl. just absolutely, definitely. like maybe a bitch, but a fierce COOL bitch. she just got back from a vegas vaycay with her girls, for gods sake. i mean, i've done that! obviously we are secretly supposed to be friends!
so anyway, not thinking twice about it, today on my facebook i posted the following three status updates:
10:30AM: so i walked in (20 minutes late) at 9:20 to yelling and swearing. it has yet to stop. what... a great day for me to have three candidates for my replacement come in for interviews!!! #8daysleft
11:00AM: operation: stay out of everyones way & remember that i don't care about any of this... GO :)
& 2PM: loved the first girl who came in to interview! what... a pretty little sucker!
SIDENOTE: she was pretty. tiny and rich looking and pretty. i mean boring pretty, but still pretty! and everyone commented on it. and i pretty much felt like alternative UGLY BETTY. i was like, scuze, GUYS, i'm RIGHT HERE!!! and i wasn't even wearing eyeliner today, cuz that's how MASSIVELY apathetic and tired i am about my last few days at this job... and now all of my office crushes are gone... so basically i'm literally thinking to my POOR ASS, "what... a waste of makeup today was!" #truth.
anyway. staci the republican 24 year-old new hire from VIRGINIA who has ALREADY QUIT (having only been there three weeks) commented... "You are cracking me up... I hope our co-workers aren't reading your hate updates!"
to which i responded, with NO guilt, "grrl, don't front. it's not like they don't know what i'm talking about... they live it too! haha"
to which Republican Stacey (who did i mention MAKES 60K??? while i make um, 27!!!) replies, "i am telling you girl - your blog could be called "The Real Andy Sachs" ...it would be a hit - I m telling you."
and i laugh out loud and i'm all like, "hahahahaha! i should probably devote the next seven days to working on it, while i still have this WEALTH of material at my fingertips :)"
to which, new "friend," super cool super bitch account director SIMONA COMMENTS: "we can read ;)"
to which, after a brief moment of PANIC and several moments of deep insightful concentration, decide to comment: "oh snap, busted! ps. surprise, i'm a real person! and by writing on my wall for the first time ever today i assume you are trying to subtly wish me a happy administrative day! :) to which i would like to say thank you! how thoughtful."
and it really literally IS Administrative Professionals Day today... (the new "PC" version of Secretary Day.) #nojoke, #truth.
her response? 20 minutes later: "lol. yessssss!"
basically, i schooled her. also, shes apparently a celebrity party girl. or so says Staci. when i'm real life friends with her, I'LL be the judge of that, tyvm ;)
so anyway. i was just thinking about all of this. and how immature i am. but also how amazingly unphased i am by these super "too cool for school" nyc types who try to make me feel like i'm inferior... probably because i belong here too, and i'm just as fucking special and pretty as they are. hahaha. #dealwithithaters
so anyway, i was just thinking about all of this and that's when it HIT ME... DUDE... simona is THIRTY-THREE. #thirtymotherfuckingthree. and she's like, a business professional scene queen.
and that's when it hit me, i need to CHILL THE FUCK OUT, FOR SERIOUS REAL, about being old! no matter what i thought before, i am still, categorically, YOUNG! i thought to myself, "dude, you have like, at LEAST three more years of being young." and then i was like, wait, NO... i am ONLY TWENTY-FIVE... i have 26, 27, 28, AND 29... before i'm even THIRTY! that is FOUR WHOLE YEARS!!! I am SO YOUNG! FOUR MORE YEARS BEFORE I SHOULD FEEL, EVEN SLIGHTLY COMPELLED, to be an "adult-adult."
god BLESS New York.
and for the love of all things holy, encourage your inner new-yorker, if at all possible, you'll see how lucky you are and how great it is... #truth.