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[on_jennys_terms]

I just have to get this out.  It's keeping me awake and its festering isn't helping the nausea.  This afternoon, I realized that on Christmas Day, I will be at the exact point in my pregnancy when I miscarried.

Comments

[albuquerque_liz]

Honey. *hugs* And the day after Christmas, you'll still be pregnant.

[on_jennys_terms]

Since that breakdown on Tuesdays, I have been virtually paralyzed with fear. It is so unlike me. But I feel like I just can't let my guard down.

[albuquerque_liz]

I know it's useless to give advice. Just hang in there. You'll get through it. And I'm right here for you to vent to.

[on_jennys_terms]

With you and J and my sister, I can at least function. My first appointment is the 19th; maybe it'll help me to calm down.

[albuquerque_liz]

That's going to help a lot.

[on_jennys_terms]

Especially if they end up doing an ultrasound like they mentioned on the phone, because I'm considered high risk.

[albuquerque_liz]

I hope they do one. You need to see and hear what is happening to you right now. And, it will make you feel better. :)

[on_jennys_terms]

Yeah, you're right. By that point, if everything is going well, we should be able to see the heartbeat and after that milestone, the risk drops. I read that the heartbeat stops about a week before miscarriage symptoms show up. I actually miscarried at 7 weeks, so if I can make it to my appointment, it'll lift a huge weight from my shoulders

[albuquerque_liz]

I'm like you and I don't tend to rely too much on power of positive thought but I've learned it does help. If anything else, it keeps you from cycling into a depression you can't get out of.

Yes, talk to the baby. The three of you really should bond with him .. her ... whatever. :) And it will help with the positive thinking. :)