in denmark
(thanks, tisha!)
from american perspective...
You know you've been in Denmark too long when:
1. The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy is to look for the queue number machine.
2. You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
3. Inside your front door is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
4. When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk;
b. he is insane;
c. he is American;
d. he is all of the above.
5. Silence is fun.
6. It no longer seems excessive to spend 800 kr. on alcohol in a single night.
7. You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get drunk".
8. You use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.
9. The word "yes" is an intake of breath.
10. You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank.
11. You buy your own drink at the bar even when you are with a group of people.
12. Traditional dinners may not necessarily mean a cooked meal.
13. You forget how to open canned beer.
14. Can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".
15. You will leave a pub if you can't find a seat.
16. Your wardrobe no longer has suits but blue shirts and mustard colored sports jackets and lots of denim.
17. You don't mind paying the same for a 200-metre bus ride as you do for going 10 kms.
18. You know the rules to handball.
19. You don't look twice at businessmen in dark suits wearing white sport socks.
20. You start to believe that if it weren't for Denmark's efforts, the world would probably collapse pretty soon.
21. You find yourself speaking half Swedish with Swedes.
22. You find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than the name of the wine.
23. You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word "hyggelig".
24. You are very surprised when you receive compliments about ANYTHING - including your appearance/clothing! In fact when you do, you find it suspicious and start thinking they might have ulterior motives.
25. You've completely forgotten what a "date" is - no one ever comes to pick you up and unexpected gifts are VERY unexpected.
26. You don't think it strange that no one ever comes by to visit without being invited and you never show up at anyone's place unannounced either.
27. You wouldn't dream of coming even 10 minutes early to a party. (Once around the block is always an alternative)
28. You find yourself lighting candles when you have guests - even if it is brightly sunny outside and 20 degrees.
29. You offer people strange-tasting brown alcoholic liquids with their coffee in the MORNING!
30. When following behind someone going through a door, you know they won't hold it open for you.
31. You think there's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
32. You think it is normal to pick up a girl in a pub, walk her to her bike and ride with her back home.
33. You understand why not every type of meat can be put together on top of bread.
34. You think is impolite to sit next to someone in a bus if there is a bench where you can sit on your own.
35. You can open a beer bottle with almost anything.
36. You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long.
37. You can tell the difference between a Grøn Tuborg and a Carlsberg by tasting them with your eyes closed.
38. Your immediate thought after any crime was committed is: It could not have been a Dane!
39. You can say rød grød med fløde, Blåbærsyltetøj, and Angstskrig.
40. You answer calls by saying your name (which confuses people abroad).
41. You complain about only having 5 weeks of vacation a year.
42. You think someone saying Undskyld is just a weirdo.
43. You call your teacher, doctor and/or in-laws by their first names.
44. You hate everyone from the other side of Bæltet.
45. You consider standing in the Airport Arrivals hall waving a danish flag normal and "hyggeligt".
46. You've become the master guru of bicycle repair.
47. You laugh at jokes about Swedes.
48. You think it's perfectly fine to steal a bike if you're drunk enough.
49. You say Skål at every sip because you can't find anything else to say.
50. You dance around the Christmas tree singing carols.
51. Tipping waiters/bar staff/taxi drivers seems overly gratuitous.
52. You no longer notice all the windmills.
53. When making a right-hand turn while driving, you habitually check over your shoulder for bicyclists.
54. You buy a hot dog with a credit card.
55. You have insurance on your bike.
56. You throw any leftover food in the trash.
57. You pack your own groceries.
58. You find yourself barging past an old person/pregnant woman to get the last seat on the train.
59. You cross the street just to walk on the sunny side on (rare) sunny days.
60. You thank people for spending time with you (Tak for sidst, Tak for i dag, etc.)
61. You say "Get home well"
62. You need to send out party invitations at least 6 weeks in advance.
63. You find it strange if a family function or event does not feature home-written songs and speeches.
64. You find it normal to have the shower in the kitchen or bedroom, or the toilet in a closet.