Just Chill Out, Emily
it could be good news or it could be bad news.... but the bad news wouldnt even be that bad, disappointing at worst. i still want the good news, because that would be just.... wonderful. i think it;s completely legitimate that he wants to make sure that if we embark on something, it's real, from our hearts, to use the cliche..... i'm happy that he knows i'm different from his other girls.
i'm setting myself up for disappointment by default, because i don't recall any instance that has come to this point and succeeded. i suppose that increases the odds that this will. i honestly cannot predict what the outcome will be.... i should stop worrying about it because i have very little control over it. if it's meant to be, it will be.
i kind of like this new lifstyle of mine of eating like 500 calories a day and never working out. it's good because i walk a lot of places but never have to sweat or change clothes. and feeling hungry sometimes is a great feeling.... looking in a window you're sitting next to and seeing a flat stomach is as well.
all my clothes are loose.... i was looking at pictures of myself from various points last year and the summer before, and i found a picture of myself from right before france the second time and i was massive, i never even realized. who is to say that i'm better now, though.... my ribs are becoming apparent, which is weird. i'm not that thin.
last night when i was feeling disappointed and nervous i went to tj max(x) to look for a new coat and i was sighing frequently, walking dejectedly, whhen i heard jeri elie's timeless greeting: "heyyy em!!" it was FATE, I TELL YOU!! this woman has been a mentor for me in every respect... she's like a teacher, best friend, mother, and deity all in one. the fact that i saw her for the first time in months just when i needed her the most was inspiring, to say the least.
her reaction to the story was something to the effect of "well, you could be in love-- if your relationship passes this test you know it will be strong and real". and she's right. i am not scared when i think of it in those terms because i realize that a relationship like that would be worth a few days of thinking.
now to go calm down and stop worrying myself sick over something which could be very positive indeed.
i'm setting myself up for disappointment by default, because i don't recall any instance that has come to this point and succeeded. i suppose that increases the odds that this will. i honestly cannot predict what the outcome will be.... i should stop worrying about it because i have very little control over it. if it's meant to be, it will be.
i kind of like this new lifstyle of mine of eating like 500 calories a day and never working out. it's good because i walk a lot of places but never have to sweat or change clothes. and feeling hungry sometimes is a great feeling.... looking in a window you're sitting next to and seeing a flat stomach is as well.
all my clothes are loose.... i was looking at pictures of myself from various points last year and the summer before, and i found a picture of myself from right before france the second time and i was massive, i never even realized. who is to say that i'm better now, though.... my ribs are becoming apparent, which is weird. i'm not that thin.
last night when i was feeling disappointed and nervous i went to tj max(x) to look for a new coat and i was sighing frequently, walking dejectedly, whhen i heard jeri elie's timeless greeting: "heyyy em!!" it was FATE, I TELL YOU!! this woman has been a mentor for me in every respect... she's like a teacher, best friend, mother, and deity all in one. the fact that i saw her for the first time in months just when i needed her the most was inspiring, to say the least.
her reaction to the story was something to the effect of "well, you could be in love-- if your relationship passes this test you know it will be strong and real". and she's right. i am not scared when i think of it in those terms because i realize that a relationship like that would be worth a few days of thinking.
now to go calm down and stop worrying myself sick over something which could be very positive indeed.