RP Log: IC Light and OOC Raito
[who]: IC Light and OOC Raito
[where]: Light's apartment
[when]: afternoon
[on what?] MSN, in third person
[Rating]: PG
[Summary]: Raito visits Light in order to confront him about hurting Matsuda.
OOC Raito in black text, IC Light in purple text
Raito reached Light's apartment door and knocked firmly against it. He had come without any warning, for this wasn't going to be a particularly friendly visit. Raito had been sitting on what Matsuda had told him, and as time passed the more he felt like he needed to say something to his more callous double. He fixed a polite smile on his face as he waited.
Hearing a knock on his door, Light glanced up from the newspaper he was skimming and raised an eyebrow. He hadn't been expecting any company and his gut told him Misa would not be appearing any time soon. After pushing himself from the chair with a heavy sigh, Light made his way to the door and pulled it open casually. His eyes widened when he saw his double and he said surprised, "Ah, Raito, I wasn't expecting you."
"I'm sorry for not calling ahead," Raito said; it was a mere formality, "But I really want to speak to you... can I please come in?" Raito was rarely one to go around confronting people, so he played it safe at first by being as polite as he possibly could; it was a kind of cushion for what was to come.
Light smiled comfortably and stepped aside, motioning to his home with his hand. "Of course," he replied. "So what brings you here?" he asked curiously as he led the way to the couch, picked up the newspaper that he had laid on the couch and folding it up.
Raito gingerly took a seat on the couch and fiddled with his hands nervously. He knew there was no point in beating around the bush; he really should just go and say it, but he didn't realize how hard it would be. He finally took in a deep breath and said, "Forgive me for asking a personal question, but..." he steeled himself and looked Light straight in the eyes, "How could you be so cruel to Matsuda-san?!" His anger was unleashed once he got over the initial nervousness.
The question caught Light off guard and he squinted in minor confusion a moment, staring at his double with surprise. Of course the other must know. Word seemed to get around fast among the tiny group of... well he didn't quite know what to call them. He was about to say something back about how Matsuda had known how he felt but a moment before he did he remembered his...argument... with L and looked to the side in thought. "I didn't quite realize he liked me as much as he did. I thought he understood I can't commit to a real relationship...I-" He glanced up his eyes stony to hid his helplessness. He was what? Someone who didn't know rejection and didn't understand the repercussions?
"Then you should have made that very clear," Raito stated. He couldn't help but feel a little compassionate towards Light after hearing that, but it couldn't trump how much Light had hurt his friend. "Sex means more to most people than it does to you, so you can't just assume that everyone would understand that," he admonished. Even he couldn't understand his double in this arena.
"I've never been with someone that blurred the line," he said contemplatively, somewhat surprised that he had just realized that. "It's physical, it's nothing special unless you decide to make it into something more," he continued without knowing why he was talking or what he was saying.
"Nothing special?!" he echoed in disbelief. That went completely counter against his own beliefs. "Sex is very meaningful, it's the closest two people can be physically. I don't understand how that can be taken so lightly," he frowned at the thought, "If you had actually thought about who you were going to do it with, then you could've avoided hurting him. You should be ashamed," he spat, then his eyes widened as he just realized how harsh he had come off... but he wouldn't take it back, because it was true. Light should be ashamed of himself.
"Ashamed?" he asked rhetorically, "I can't say I feel ashamed. Though I will admit I'm suffering from something of a guilty conscience." He placed his chin in his palm and leaned on the arm of the chair thoughtfully, remembering that he had to be careful how he acted with Raito. "I've never felt anything powerful enough to make sex into something more. Well, until recently..."
If he hadn't felt guilty then Raito would've hated him outright, so he relaxed slightly. Guilt alone wouldn't heal Matsuda's pain, but it was a start. He grew instantly curious at his last bit, and looked over Light's head to see a faint name: L's name. Was he talking about him...? "Really? I'm surprised to hear that," he commented honestly, a little dryly. "Who's the person who has been melting your cold heart?" he asked, not caring how cheesy it sounded.
Light snorted, amused. "Melt? Just happened to work a way to the center with an ice pick," he joked with a smirk, specifically not saying the gender of the person and dancing around the question. He didn't want to advertise his attraction to L. He'd only just realized it recently, though how long it had been there was anyone's guess.
He couldn't help but laugh at the joke, then quieted. He really shouldn't be friendly towards him, but... Light was being nice, even when he had just barged in and confronted him like this. "You didn't answer the basic question, though," he replied, then decided to guess. "Is it... Ryuuzaki-kun?"
"I'm not obvious, I'd hope." Light refused to dance around the subject at such an obvious question, and while he had no problems with lying, Raito knew his deepest secret and he had to make sure the boy trusted him. He smiled and blushed, looking at his lap and waited for the other boy to take the bait.
"Not at all," he smiled, a bit slyly as he explained, "My Tenshi... gave me a special power. I can see who people like just by looking at them, so your secret is safe." He paused, tilting his head in thought. "Are you... ever going to do anything about it?"
Light stiffened and clenched his jaw. Unsure how to answer that question because it wasn't really in his hands any more. He'd already tried. And...he paused, and tilted his head. "What do you lose in exchange for being able to see who people like?" he asked suddenly, still tense from the question about L.
He frowned, hating to think about that subject. "I lost the ability to use it in relation to myself, and... knowing what love really is," he whispered sadly. "I still try to find it though, isn't that silly of me?" he asked with a laugh, though it was a sad one.
"No," Light said, his voice hard enough to be resolute but still reassuring. "Everyone wants to fall in love," he admitted and quelled the question in his mind whether he was in love with L or not. Because he couldn't be. Could he? - No - He shook his head and frowned. "Most times its beyond our control when he do though, ne?"
"I suppose... though I don't have that luxury anymore. I have to decide for myself, which could be seen as a good thing," he said, though he didn't fully believe that or else he wouldn't be using the Love Note at all. "We do have one thing in common, though... I've decided to try an infatuation with Ryuuzaki-kun," he admitted hesitantly, "It's... quite easy now, actually," he laughed.
Light's eyes narrowed and he drew in a deep breath. "And why's that?" he asked in a detached, curious voice. He didn't like the way Raito seemed to flippantly, embarrassed. Nor the way he'd worded that last part - with the pause. The hand on his lap clenched dangerously and he hid his frown behind a smile.
Raito flushed a little and smiled. "We started dating awhile ago. He's a really great person, I want to like him," he stated more confidently. He was happy about his decision, after all. He wouldn't deny it. "It's just... unfortunate that we both like him," he said sadly.
Light's eyes widened and he couldn't contain the hiss of breath that passed his lips. So that's how it was. That bastard, that fucking godforsaken, son of a bitch /bastard/ had decided to go for his clone? "Ah, it's only a small interest," Light lied smoothly, his voice casual and disinterested. "I'm happy for you." He smiled and nodded his head in admission.
Next time he saw L... he was going to kill him. He would kill him now actually.
Raito heard the hiss, though he didn't know that anger was behind it. He interpreted it as a depressed one and he frowned, biting his lip. "A-are you sure, Light-kun? You said that he was making you rethink your ways a little, after all." How had he started worrying about him? It wasn't even like Raito could really help him here, since he was the one hurting him, for a change. Maybe that's why his heart was opening to Light.
Not anymore, Light thought sourly. It had just been about the sex, he told himself and let his smile widen placatingly. "No, really. A leopard can't change his spots, ne? It's better that he find someone who will be faithful. He deserves that," Light let his voice sound sure, playing upon Raito's sympathetic nature. Hopefully the boy would allow the lie rather than feel more concerned.
Raito wasn't quite sure if he meant that, but he wanted to believe it - it would make everything so much easier, so he just accepted. "Alright," He paused as he considered everything that Light had said and frowned. "Light-kun, people can change... I know that if you wanted to, you could become better."
Light grinned, the smile full and almost malicious as he said in an amused voice, "Where's the fun in monogamy? I like the way I am fine." It was a lie. Well the monogamy part was. He wouldn't mind monogamy with L but... He wasn't going to change. In fact, he had a feeling he was going to go out of his way to hurt even more people. Though before Matsuda he'd never hurt them.
Raito wanted to counter and explain why monogamy was great, but he knew it would be a lost cause at this point. "Well, as long as you're responsible about it," he punctuated that with a meaningful look, "I guess that's alright... though I'll never understand you," he admitted with a smile. "Love is greater than any physical gratification." He was sure of that, though since he was a virgin, he couldn't really prove it.
"I'm always safe," Light said with the traces of a real smile, remembering saying that sentence so many times. He stood and walked to the door, opening it and smiling. "Let's agree to disagree shall we?" he said and grabbed his jacket off the hook beside the door. "I'm sorry to be rude, but I have to be at my parents' house for supper in ten minutes. We have family dinner once a week. It was nice speaking with you Raito and I hope we can do it again sometime." He grinned at the other boy as he pulled on his jacket slowly.
Raito sighed. He should've known that Light would avoid his statement; they really were quite different, after all. He only nodded as he stood up and walked towards the door, and stopped in front of Light. "I hope so too. I'm sorry that I was so confrontational," he said honestly, "Have a good evening, Light-kun." With that, he left Light's apartment, his mind conflicted. He knew that he shouldn't like Light after what he did to Matsuda, but he couldn't help it. It was rather disturbing to Raito's idealistic mind, but he really did want to talk to him again.
~le fin~
[where]: Light's apartment
[when]: afternoon
[on what?] MSN, in third person
[Rating]: PG
[Summary]: Raito visits Light in order to confront him about hurting Matsuda.
OOC Raito in black text, IC Light in purple text
Raito reached Light's apartment door and knocked firmly against it. He had come without any warning, for this wasn't going to be a particularly friendly visit. Raito had been sitting on what Matsuda had told him, and as time passed the more he felt like he needed to say something to his more callous double. He fixed a polite smile on his face as he waited.
Hearing a knock on his door, Light glanced up from the newspaper he was skimming and raised an eyebrow. He hadn't been expecting any company and his gut told him Misa would not be appearing any time soon. After pushing himself from the chair with a heavy sigh, Light made his way to the door and pulled it open casually. His eyes widened when he saw his double and he said surprised, "Ah, Raito, I wasn't expecting you."
"I'm sorry for not calling ahead," Raito said; it was a mere formality, "But I really want to speak to you... can I please come in?" Raito was rarely one to go around confronting people, so he played it safe at first by being as polite as he possibly could; it was a kind of cushion for what was to come.
Light smiled comfortably and stepped aside, motioning to his home with his hand. "Of course," he replied. "So what brings you here?" he asked curiously as he led the way to the couch, picked up the newspaper that he had laid on the couch and folding it up.
Raito gingerly took a seat on the couch and fiddled with his hands nervously. He knew there was no point in beating around the bush; he really should just go and say it, but he didn't realize how hard it would be. He finally took in a deep breath and said, "Forgive me for asking a personal question, but..." he steeled himself and looked Light straight in the eyes, "How could you be so cruel to Matsuda-san?!" His anger was unleashed once he got over the initial nervousness.
The question caught Light off guard and he squinted in minor confusion a moment, staring at his double with surprise. Of course the other must know. Word seemed to get around fast among the tiny group of... well he didn't quite know what to call them. He was about to say something back about how Matsuda had known how he felt but a moment before he did he remembered his...argument... with L and looked to the side in thought. "I didn't quite realize he liked me as much as he did. I thought he understood I can't commit to a real relationship...I-" He glanced up his eyes stony to hid his helplessness. He was what? Someone who didn't know rejection and didn't understand the repercussions?
"Then you should have made that very clear," Raito stated. He couldn't help but feel a little compassionate towards Light after hearing that, but it couldn't trump how much Light had hurt his friend. "Sex means more to most people than it does to you, so you can't just assume that everyone would understand that," he admonished. Even he couldn't understand his double in this arena.
"I've never been with someone that blurred the line," he said contemplatively, somewhat surprised that he had just realized that. "It's physical, it's nothing special unless you decide to make it into something more," he continued without knowing why he was talking or what he was saying.
"Nothing special?!" he echoed in disbelief. That went completely counter against his own beliefs. "Sex is very meaningful, it's the closest two people can be physically. I don't understand how that can be taken so lightly," he frowned at the thought, "If you had actually thought about who you were going to do it with, then you could've avoided hurting him. You should be ashamed," he spat, then his eyes widened as he just realized how harsh he had come off... but he wouldn't take it back, because it was true. Light should be ashamed of himself.
"Ashamed?" he asked rhetorically, "I can't say I feel ashamed. Though I will admit I'm suffering from something of a guilty conscience." He placed his chin in his palm and leaned on the arm of the chair thoughtfully, remembering that he had to be careful how he acted with Raito. "I've never felt anything powerful enough to make sex into something more. Well, until recently..."
If he hadn't felt guilty then Raito would've hated him outright, so he relaxed slightly. Guilt alone wouldn't heal Matsuda's pain, but it was a start. He grew instantly curious at his last bit, and looked over Light's head to see a faint name: L's name. Was he talking about him...? "Really? I'm surprised to hear that," he commented honestly, a little dryly. "Who's the person who has been melting your cold heart?" he asked, not caring how cheesy it sounded.
Light snorted, amused. "Melt? Just happened to work a way to the center with an ice pick," he joked with a smirk, specifically not saying the gender of the person and dancing around the question. He didn't want to advertise his attraction to L. He'd only just realized it recently, though how long it had been there was anyone's guess.
He couldn't help but laugh at the joke, then quieted. He really shouldn't be friendly towards him, but... Light was being nice, even when he had just barged in and confronted him like this. "You didn't answer the basic question, though," he replied, then decided to guess. "Is it... Ryuuzaki-kun?"
"I'm not obvious, I'd hope." Light refused to dance around the subject at such an obvious question, and while he had no problems with lying, Raito knew his deepest secret and he had to make sure the boy trusted him. He smiled and blushed, looking at his lap and waited for the other boy to take the bait.
"Not at all," he smiled, a bit slyly as he explained, "My Tenshi... gave me a special power. I can see who people like just by looking at them, so your secret is safe." He paused, tilting his head in thought. "Are you... ever going to do anything about it?"
Light stiffened and clenched his jaw. Unsure how to answer that question because it wasn't really in his hands any more. He'd already tried. And...he paused, and tilted his head. "What do you lose in exchange for being able to see who people like?" he asked suddenly, still tense from the question about L.
He frowned, hating to think about that subject. "I lost the ability to use it in relation to myself, and... knowing what love really is," he whispered sadly. "I still try to find it though, isn't that silly of me?" he asked with a laugh, though it was a sad one.
"No," Light said, his voice hard enough to be resolute but still reassuring. "Everyone wants to fall in love," he admitted and quelled the question in his mind whether he was in love with L or not. Because he couldn't be. Could he? - No - He shook his head and frowned. "Most times its beyond our control when he do though, ne?"
"I suppose... though I don't have that luxury anymore. I have to decide for myself, which could be seen as a good thing," he said, though he didn't fully believe that or else he wouldn't be using the Love Note at all. "We do have one thing in common, though... I've decided to try an infatuation with Ryuuzaki-kun," he admitted hesitantly, "It's... quite easy now, actually," he laughed.
Light's eyes narrowed and he drew in a deep breath. "And why's that?" he asked in a detached, curious voice. He didn't like the way Raito seemed to flippantly, embarrassed. Nor the way he'd worded that last part - with the pause. The hand on his lap clenched dangerously and he hid his frown behind a smile.
Raito flushed a little and smiled. "We started dating awhile ago. He's a really great person, I want to like him," he stated more confidently. He was happy about his decision, after all. He wouldn't deny it. "It's just... unfortunate that we both like him," he said sadly.
Light's eyes widened and he couldn't contain the hiss of breath that passed his lips. So that's how it was. That bastard, that fucking godforsaken, son of a bitch /bastard/ had decided to go for his clone? "Ah, it's only a small interest," Light lied smoothly, his voice casual and disinterested. "I'm happy for you." He smiled and nodded his head in admission.
Next time he saw L... he was going to kill him. He would kill him now actually.
Raito heard the hiss, though he didn't know that anger was behind it. He interpreted it as a depressed one and he frowned, biting his lip. "A-are you sure, Light-kun? You said that he was making you rethink your ways a little, after all." How had he started worrying about him? It wasn't even like Raito could really help him here, since he was the one hurting him, for a change. Maybe that's why his heart was opening to Light.
Not anymore, Light thought sourly. It had just been about the sex, he told himself and let his smile widen placatingly. "No, really. A leopard can't change his spots, ne? It's better that he find someone who will be faithful. He deserves that," Light let his voice sound sure, playing upon Raito's sympathetic nature. Hopefully the boy would allow the lie rather than feel more concerned.
Raito wasn't quite sure if he meant that, but he wanted to believe it - it would make everything so much easier, so he just accepted. "Alright," He paused as he considered everything that Light had said and frowned. "Light-kun, people can change... I know that if you wanted to, you could become better."
Light grinned, the smile full and almost malicious as he said in an amused voice, "Where's the fun in monogamy? I like the way I am fine." It was a lie. Well the monogamy part was. He wouldn't mind monogamy with L but... He wasn't going to change. In fact, he had a feeling he was going to go out of his way to hurt even more people. Though before Matsuda he'd never hurt them.
Raito wanted to counter and explain why monogamy was great, but he knew it would be a lost cause at this point. "Well, as long as you're responsible about it," he punctuated that with a meaningful look, "I guess that's alright... though I'll never understand you," he admitted with a smile. "Love is greater than any physical gratification." He was sure of that, though since he was a virgin, he couldn't really prove it.
"I'm always safe," Light said with the traces of a real smile, remembering saying that sentence so many times. He stood and walked to the door, opening it and smiling. "Let's agree to disagree shall we?" he said and grabbed his jacket off the hook beside the door. "I'm sorry to be rude, but I have to be at my parents' house for supper in ten minutes. We have family dinner once a week. It was nice speaking with you Raito and I hope we can do it again sometime." He grinned at the other boy as he pulled on his jacket slowly.
Raito sighed. He should've known that Light would avoid his statement; they really were quite different, after all. He only nodded as he stood up and walked towards the door, and stopped in front of Light. "I hope so too. I'm sorry that I was so confrontational," he said honestly, "Have a good evening, Light-kun." With that, he left Light's apartment, his mind conflicted. He knew that he shouldn't like Light after what he did to Matsuda, but he couldn't help it. It was rather disturbing to Raito's idealistic mind, but he really did want to talk to him again.
~le fin~