This is not a conference abstract. (Yes, I know.)
[earlier tonight]:
*phone rings*
Mom: Can you breathe yet?
Me: *hacks up a storm* Uh, not entirely?
Mom: Go take your inhaler.
Me: Why? It's a cold. A cold that's lasted two weeks, and involves no sneezing.
Mom: It's asthma. Go take your inhaler.
Me: What? No it isn't, I can't hear any whistling in my lungs. *coughs*
Mom: Yes it is.
Me: No, seriously, if my lungs aren't whistling and I can breathe a little, it's not my asthma! *coughs*
Mom: You do realize that there are kinds of asthma attacks other than ones that immediately threaten to kill you.
Me: Um. Is there a right answer to that?
*long pause*
Mom: Go take your inhaler. Don't call me back until you can do it without barking in my ear.
In conclusion, I suspect that there are days when it is very difficult for my mother to remember why she thought children were a good life choice.
*phone rings*
Mom: Can you breathe yet?
Me: *hacks up a storm* Uh, not entirely?
Mom: Go take your inhaler.
Me: Why? It's a cold. A cold that's lasted two weeks, and involves no sneezing.
Mom: It's asthma. Go take your inhaler.
Me: What? No it isn't, I can't hear any whistling in my lungs. *coughs*
Mom: Yes it is.
Me: No, seriously, if my lungs aren't whistling and I can breathe a little, it's not my asthma! *coughs*
Mom: You do realize that there are kinds of asthma attacks other than ones that immediately threaten to kill you.
Me: Um. Is there a right answer to that?
*long pause*
Mom: Go take your inhaler. Don't call me back until you can do it without barking in my ear.
In conclusion, I suspect that there are days when it is very difficult for my mother to remember why she thought children were a good life choice.