You know that feeling when you stumble into YouTube and can't escape?
Last week Eledhwenlin talked about the awesome German bands that she listens to, and I...well, okay. I've been mainlining a lot of German music lately, because it turns out that she's a genius and I do approximately a million times better at learning a language when there's music involved.
I'm sure you're all shocked by this. I know I was. (This is why I'm the neurotic one, and she's the one with all the brains.)
But! What's the first thing I do upon discovering something new to love? That's right. I share it with all of you, my much-harassed f-list. So, without further ado, aaaaaaaalllll the youtube links.
First up, Artig.
No, okay, bear with me. I realize that they're the German equivalent of One Direction. I can see this! They're tiny and young and Marten, their bassist, HATES HIS LIFE WITH A FIERY PASSION OH GOD NO HE REALLY DOES. But the drummer (Chris) speaks four languages, and the guitarist (Dave) and the lead singer (Max) might be the most ridiculous boyfriends in the world.
They made FOURTEEN video diary entries for their USA Tour, which lasted less than two weeks and featured concerts at three high schools and a music trade show. (I am not linking you to all of those. This is what passes for restraint in my universe.) I AM linking you to their first video, which features a lot of pining and is really easy to figure out, even if you don't understand a word of it. Max is sad. He is so sad that he has to drive around in the dark and sing to himself. He's so sad that all the color has gone from the world, and also there is a hailstorm.
Hang on, though. I can hear you all saying, "but Om, they're so SUPER SUPER SAD and full of WEE TINY GERMAN ANGST." (Which they are. Well, Marten is. The others are full of WEE TINY LOVE FOR THEIR ROCKSTAR LIVES, although they hide it well.) Never fear, this is a baby band with LAYERS. And a second video, which...I greatly suspect they may have scripted themselves. That would explain the dog poop.
I have a thing for enthusiasm, okay? (Also, they practice in a shipping container. A very nice shipping container, but still. And Max wears what I'm almost positive is an unironic headband, because none of them are old enough to have discovered ironic detachment. Yet.)
However! They are LAYERED and so in their vast catalog of ten songs, there is an UNPLUGGED video. Featuring the Shipping Contained of Musical Expression and Eyefucking and BAckground Vocals. (Caveat: it's, um. Not technically unplugged. Like, at all; Marten is playing an electric bass. I don't know what unplugged means in German, but apparently it doesn't require actually unplugging anything.)
And, finally, an actual concert video. Well, when I say concert video...
(Ridiculous. MOST RIDICULOUS. But I love them anyhow.)
But okay, maybe Artig is Not Your Thing. (Maybe you hate puppies and rainbows, too. Whatever, I don't judge. Much.) Maybe you are more of a "Zombies and Social Tolerance and Historical References by Way of Punk Music" sort of listener.
That's okay. I've got some of that, too. F-list? Meet die Ärzte.
They are not a wee baby band. They are seriously, seriously awesome and I owe Eledhwenlin roughly ALL THE FEEEEEEEEEELINGS for introducing me to them. And so now I will bring them to you, by way of subtitled videos of questionable quality. (The videos are brilliant. It's the uploads that are questionable, but unfortunately one can get either HQ or text from YT but not both. My life is HARD, y'all.)
First up, ZOMBIES! (Because Caers won't keep reading if I don't give her something that features gore and dismemberment. She only loves me when I make people cry. Sad but true.)
WARNING: Take this warning seriously, guys. This is the uncensored version, and it doesn't pull any punches on the gore. If that's an issue for you, skip ahead. But if you're okay with a spectacular amount of film violence for a four minute video, you are in for a real treat. And an ironic coffee mug.
What's that? You're not convinced? How about if they sing about the importance of rock music, while mocking themselves, the music industry, and German culture as a whole? (This is REALLY worth going to find the official release for, once you have an idea of the lyrics. The subtitled version cuts the whole intro, which is insanely charming and makes the whole video better.)
Hmm. Okay, well. How about a song about how exciting the life of rockstars is! Only, somehow, not.
No? Okay, then. Let's go Old School, with a song about how anyone who judges you can just fuck the hell off. That's one of those universal beliefs, right? Of course it is.
Personally, I think that should be sufficient. But just in case, here's one more, featuring adorable children, vampires, profanity, neo-Nazis, violins, and a guitar-smashing granny.
(There is a subtitled version available, but it's not very good and pretty distracting. Let's just go with the general idea that they're calling the bad guys really not-nice things and implying that they weren't hugged enough as children and also their girlfriends are cheating on their sorry asses. You all know how to google if necessary.)
Now I can sense that there might still be someone out there who isn't on board the German music bus. Perhaps that person isn't a fan of either tiny pretty pretentious boy bands, or hardcore sarcastic punk music. (Which makes me wonder why such a person is still reading my journal AT ALL, but okay. Die Ärzte would be disappointed if I were to judge such a life choice. Carry on, doubters. Carry on.)
Perhaps our hypothetical person would instead enjoy a song about a guy and his guitar, and two friends who get really plastered and then fall asleep cuddling? If so, how about some Michael Heß?
(I'm sorry. I realize that I have no perspective, but Michael Heß also wrote "Lebkuchensong." Which I transcribed, translated, and then sent out to my entire family in an email composed entirely in capslock. PERSPECTIVE IS FOR AMATEURS.
Also, this is the video that created the "Brad Colbert is a reluctant rockstar dating Ray, his roadie, and Nate, the record exec with a heart of gold" AU on Twitter. In case anyone was wondering.)
Or maybe a song about the perils of academia and the ultimate futility of Literary Analysis would be better. Or, um. The way that the attractions of Literary Theory pale beside those of the girl who sits to the left in a classroom. I suspect Martin Rosenplänter didn't do terribly well on the final exam.
And! It's complete with crowd participation, since this one is a concert recording. (Oh, Martin Rosenplänter. Sitting on your couch and playing the guitar isn't really a rockstar thing to do, honey. Why won't you just release a damn album so that I can buy it? I want to give you money! Why must you thwart me so!?!)
Tim Bendzko. Also Eledhwenlin's fault, but you really, really shouldn't blame her, because he is the adorable AU lovechild of Stark Sands and Gerard Way and someone else who I can't remember at the moment. He would totally go out with you, but first he's got to save the world and check his email. (No, that's actually what the chorus is about. FAVORITE.)
Then again, maybe today he'd rather wander along the beach and stare soulfully out over the water, like a really terrible impersonation of Lewis Nixon.
Or channel his inner Josh Ritter.
Or even dance like a total idiot to my favorite song from his album
I have no words. His interpretive dance sort of speaks for itself.
Originally this post was lacking in Nena. That is just...really not okay. Because look at her.
Or, you know, if hot and also sings like a mofo isn't enough, how about more UST than Steve Rogers and Tony Stark trapped in a sauna? (This is...almost hotter than the Shelter staircase scene. It's DEFINITELY worth clicking through to the HD version.
As in, Sansets suggested that I put this one above the cut tag, for the good of humanity. I'm just saying, she usually has good ideas, and you can probably trust her even if I sometimes make bad life choices. Is all. Plus, English!)
All of which leads up to this, which...if things made me cry, this would do it.
And, for your enlightenment, a little bit of Luis und Laserpower. (What? Yes, fine, my jokes are also not funny in German. I am not funny in ANY language, you should be used to that by now.)
Finally (well, for today, at least; this is SERIOUSLY just a random sampling of stuff that came up when I started poking at my *koff*fifteenhourslongwhatthatsnotexcessiveshutup*koff* German music playlist), Angelika Express. Whose videos are, quite frankly, rather crap. There's nothing I can do about that, but I'm hoping by now you've all been Stockholmed enough by the rest of the bands to overlook it in the interests of ridiculous rock and catchy choruses.
(There is a brilliant bit in the first one where the lead singer gets his head slammed into a cash register. That part's fun?)
Oh, and while I'm making excuses (these aren't even the songs I love most from this band; the label's decisions for the videos BAFFLE ME) let's think for a moment about my enormous UNFATHOMABLE kink for code-switching. (This one would be mostly for Set. Mostly.)
Wait! One last thing. Because in fact, my favorite song from Angelika Express IS on YT, with a video that...is one of those things you just have to watch while suspending disbelief. Er. And pretending that they haven't just thrown a rock through the fourth wall. Which they have.
Keep watching. The song actually starts around the two minute mark, and has both a chorus that is CATCHY AS HELL and ALL THE NA NA NAS. ALL OF THEM. THERE ARE NO NA NA NAS LEFT FOR ANYONE ELSE, SORRY GERARD WAY.
***
So, um. That's what I've been listening to lately? Come talk about German music with me! (Or other music. Whatever, I'm not picky. Except for how I really, really am.)
I'm sure you're all shocked by this. I know I was. (This is why I'm the neurotic one, and she's the one with all the brains.)
But! What's the first thing I do upon discovering something new to love? That's right. I share it with all of you, my much-harassed f-list. So, without further ado, aaaaaaaalllll the youtube links.
First up, Artig.
No, okay, bear with me. I realize that they're the German equivalent of One Direction. I can see this! They're tiny and young and Marten, their bassist, HATES HIS LIFE WITH A FIERY PASSION OH GOD NO HE REALLY DOES. But the drummer (Chris) speaks four languages, and the guitarist (Dave) and the lead singer (Max) might be the most ridiculous boyfriends in the world.
They made FOURTEEN video diary entries for their USA Tour, which lasted less than two weeks and featured concerts at three high schools and a music trade show. (I am not linking you to all of those. This is what passes for restraint in my universe.) I AM linking you to their first video, which features a lot of pining and is really easy to figure out, even if you don't understand a word of it. Max is sad. He is so sad that he has to drive around in the dark and sing to himself. He's so sad that all the color has gone from the world, and also there is a hailstorm.
Click to viewHang on, though. I can hear you all saying, "but Om, they're so SUPER SUPER SAD and full of WEE TINY GERMAN ANGST." (Which they are. Well, Marten is. The others are full of WEE TINY LOVE FOR THEIR ROCKSTAR LIVES, although they hide it well.) Never fear, this is a baby band with LAYERS. And a second video, which...I greatly suspect they may have scripted themselves. That would explain the dog poop.
I have a thing for enthusiasm, okay? (Also, they practice in a shipping container. A very nice shipping container, but still. And Max wears what I'm almost positive is an unironic headband, because none of them are old enough to have discovered ironic detachment. Yet.)
However! They are LAYERED and so in their vast catalog of ten songs, there is an UNPLUGGED video. Featuring the Shipping Contained of Musical Expression and Eyefucking and BAckground Vocals. (Caveat: it's, um. Not technically unplugged. Like, at all; Marten is playing an electric bass. I don't know what unplugged means in German, but apparently it doesn't require actually unplugging anything.)
And, finally, an actual concert video. Well, when I say concert video...
(Ridiculous. MOST RIDICULOUS. But I love them anyhow.)
But okay, maybe Artig is Not Your Thing. (Maybe you hate puppies and rainbows, too. Whatever, I don't judge. Much.) Maybe you are more of a "Zombies and Social Tolerance and Historical References by Way of Punk Music" sort of listener.
That's okay. I've got some of that, too. F-list? Meet die Ärzte.
They are not a wee baby band. They are seriously, seriously awesome and I owe Eledhwenlin roughly ALL THE FEEEEEEEEEELINGS for introducing me to them. And so now I will bring them to you, by way of subtitled videos of questionable quality. (The videos are brilliant. It's the uploads that are questionable, but unfortunately one can get either HQ or text from YT but not both. My life is HARD, y'all.)
First up, ZOMBIES! (Because Caers won't keep reading if I don't give her something that features gore and dismemberment. She only loves me when I make people cry. Sad but true.)
WARNING: Take this warning seriously, guys. This is the uncensored version, and it doesn't pull any punches on the gore. If that's an issue for you, skip ahead. But if you're okay with a spectacular amount of film violence for a four minute video, you are in for a real treat. And an ironic coffee mug.
What's that? You're not convinced? How about if they sing about the importance of rock music, while mocking themselves, the music industry, and German culture as a whole? (This is REALLY worth going to find the official release for, once you have an idea of the lyrics. The subtitled version cuts the whole intro, which is insanely charming and makes the whole video better.)
Hmm. Okay, well. How about a song about how exciting the life of rockstars is! Only, somehow, not.
No? Okay, then. Let's go Old School, with a song about how anyone who judges you can just fuck the hell off. That's one of those universal beliefs, right? Of course it is.
Personally, I think that should be sufficient. But just in case, here's one more, featuring adorable children, vampires, profanity, neo-Nazis, violins, and a guitar-smashing granny.
(There is a subtitled version available, but it's not very good and pretty distracting. Let's just go with the general idea that they're calling the bad guys really not-nice things and implying that they weren't hugged enough as children and also their girlfriends are cheating on their sorry asses. You all know how to google if necessary.)
Now I can sense that there might still be someone out there who isn't on board the German music bus. Perhaps that person isn't a fan of either tiny pretty pretentious boy bands, or hardcore sarcastic punk music. (Which makes me wonder why such a person is still reading my journal AT ALL, but okay. Die Ärzte would be disappointed if I were to judge such a life choice. Carry on, doubters. Carry on.)
Perhaps our hypothetical person would instead enjoy a song about a guy and his guitar, and two friends who get really plastered and then fall asleep cuddling? If so, how about some Michael Heß?
(I'm sorry. I realize that I have no perspective, but Michael Heß also wrote "Lebkuchensong." Which I transcribed, translated, and then sent out to my entire family in an email composed entirely in capslock. PERSPECTIVE IS FOR AMATEURS.
Also, this is the video that created the "Brad Colbert is a reluctant rockstar dating Ray, his roadie, and Nate, the record exec with a heart of gold" AU on Twitter. In case anyone was wondering.)
Or maybe a song about the perils of academia and the ultimate futility of Literary Analysis would be better. Or, um. The way that the attractions of Literary Theory pale beside those of the girl who sits to the left in a classroom. I suspect Martin Rosenplänter didn't do terribly well on the final exam.
And! It's complete with crowd participation, since this one is a concert recording. (Oh, Martin Rosenplänter. Sitting on your couch and playing the guitar isn't really a rockstar thing to do, honey. Why won't you just release a damn album so that I can buy it? I want to give you money! Why must you thwart me so!?!)
Tim Bendzko. Also Eledhwenlin's fault, but you really, really shouldn't blame her, because he is the adorable AU lovechild of Stark Sands and Gerard Way and someone else who I can't remember at the moment. He would totally go out with you, but first he's got to save the world and check his email. (No, that's actually what the chorus is about. FAVORITE.)
Then again, maybe today he'd rather wander along the beach and stare soulfully out over the water, like a really terrible impersonation of Lewis Nixon.
Or channel his inner Josh Ritter.
Or even dance like a total idiot to my favorite song from his album
I have no words. His interpretive dance sort of speaks for itself.
Originally this post was lacking in Nena. That is just...really not okay. Because look at her.
Or, you know, if hot and also sings like a mofo isn't enough, how about more UST than Steve Rogers and Tony Stark trapped in a sauna? (This is...almost hotter than the Shelter staircase scene. It's DEFINITELY worth clicking through to the HD version.
As in, Sansets suggested that I put this one above the cut tag, for the good of humanity. I'm just saying, she usually has good ideas, and you can probably trust her even if I sometimes make bad life choices. Is all. Plus, English!)
All of which leads up to this, which...if things made me cry, this would do it.
And, for your enlightenment, a little bit of Luis und Laserpower. (What? Yes, fine, my jokes are also not funny in German. I am not funny in ANY language, you should be used to that by now.)
Finally (well, for today, at least; this is SERIOUSLY just a random sampling of stuff that came up when I started poking at my *koff*fifteenhourslongwhatthatsnotexcessiveshutup*koff* German music playlist), Angelika Express. Whose videos are, quite frankly, rather crap. There's nothing I can do about that, but I'm hoping by now you've all been Stockholmed enough by the rest of the bands to overlook it in the interests of ridiculous rock and catchy choruses.
(There is a brilliant bit in the first one where the lead singer gets his head slammed into a cash register. That part's fun?)
Oh, and while I'm making excuses (these aren't even the songs I love most from this band; the label's decisions for the videos BAFFLE ME) let's think for a moment about my enormous UNFATHOMABLE kink for code-switching. (This one would be mostly for Set. Mostly.)
Wait! One last thing. Because in fact, my favorite song from Angelika Express IS on YT, with a video that...is one of those things you just have to watch while suspending disbelief. Er. And pretending that they haven't just thrown a rock through the fourth wall. Which they have.
Keep watching. The song actually starts around the two minute mark, and has both a chorus that is CATCHY AS HELL and ALL THE NA NA NAS. ALL OF THEM. THERE ARE NO NA NA NAS LEFT FOR ANYONE ELSE, SORRY GERARD WAY.
***
So, um. That's what I've been listening to lately? Come talk about German music with me! (Or other music. Whatever, I'm not picky. Except for how I really, really am.)