Turtle/Pear: [2/4]
Title: Turtle/Pear [2/4]
Author: momo (lovenaught)
Pairing: Akame, small bit of Pikame
Rating PG
Genre: This isn't deep at all. Crack and fun times yo.
Summary: Pi secretly asks Kame to help him throw Jin a surprise party.
Notes: Long overdue. For yamapea ♥. This was supposed to be a teeny drabble but I got carried away T__T. Part one is here.
In which Kame and Pi prepare for Jin’s birthday
4 days prior
“Kame-chan, your hair’s really nice today.”
Kame gives Pi a plain, disbelieving stare.
“No, really! I love the perm job,” he gushes, making weird googly eyes.
“…Pi, what’s this really about?”
“Ne, don’t be like that Kame-chan,” Pi says smoothly. “Can’t friends who miss each other so much take some time off their busy schedules to see each other once in a while?”
Kame stares at him some more. Pi’s smile starts to waver under his no-nonsense gaze.
“Okay, fine,” he huffs. “The thing is, Jin’s birthday is coming up soon. Right?”
Kame nods. “In a few days.”
“Right, right. And well, see, I want to ask your help preparing for this bangin’ birthday bash I’m planning -“
Kame rolls his eyes. “If it involves strippers and me coming out of any orifice, count me out.”
“Aw, come on, that was one time!” Pi whines. Kame had obviously not forgotten the incident at Koki’s birthday party where the girl they’d hired to come out of the cake came down with a nasty flu at the last minute, had called up Nakamaru and gave him her Vegas girl costume. It was when Kame entered the room to the gang holding up the flimsy outfit that the party was saved, in true JE fashion. Needless to say, Koki was one very happy camper.
“The show must go on, huh?” Kame says in spite, slightly shivering at the memory.
“So what do you say? Please, Kame, pleeeaase?” Pi draws out, taking his hand and stroking it lovingly.
“Cut that out,” Kame says, swatting Pi’s hand away.
“So you’ll say yes? Please? If you don’t want to think of Jin, you can just think of it as a labor of love for me!”
Kame rubs his temple. Somehow that thought seemed worse. “What do you want me to do?”
3 days prior
“Okay, so I was thinking - maybe we should go with the red confetti instead of the blue one?”
Over the other end of the line, Pi stifles a yawn. “Kame-chan, we’ve been at this for hours.”
“Are you saying we should get the blue confetti? I think the blue confetti matches Jin’s wallpaper. Or is it too non-birthday party?”
“…How about both?”
“Won’t that look too tacky?”
“It’s 3 am in the morning,” Pi replies dryly. “Do you really expect me to be able to give great party advice at this time? Besides, as if Jin hasn’t seen a horrid blue/red combination before.”
Kame hmphs. “Well, it’s your fault I’m even onboard in the first place. Anyway, I checked some stores before I went home and they have these really nice, glittery blue confetti. Oh! And these gorgeous glass decors that we can hang on the ceiling. They have…” Pi hears some shuffling, and a pen ticking off paper. “Musical notes, Dogs in 10 different breeds, Songwriting sheets, leather jackets -“
“Do they have beer-shaped ones?”
“Uhm, yeah. Why?”
Pi gives a weak, sleepy laugh. “Get that one. That would be hilarious.”
Kame sighs, long-suffering. “Fine.”
“I’ve never heard you talk so much,” Pi remarks. And he hasn’t, not in a long time. “You must be really psyched about this.”
“It’s kinda fun,” Kame admits. Pi can hear the smile on his face. He also realizes that no one has probably commissioned Kame to do this kind of thing before- the poor kid. “Are we meeting tomorrow? We should. I still don’t know what kind of confetti you want.”
“Yes, dear. Tomorrow at that restaurant across the building.”
“Super Bowl? Sure. I’ll be free at 2 pm from rehearsals.”
“I’ll be off an hour early, but I’ll meet you outside your dressing room.”
“Okay. Goodnight, Pi.”
“Goodnight, Kame-chan.”
“…So you really think we should go for both colors?”
Click.
2 days prior
“Yo, KAT-TUN!” Pi happily slurs at Jin, Ueda and Nakamaru the next morning with noticeably bloodshot eyes. “Or at least half of you. Where are the others?”
“What happened to you?” Ueda asks. Pi doesn’t know Ueda enough to say if the tone is concerned or suspicious. It’s probably both.
“Oh, nothing,” Pi sing-songs. “I had a late-night date with Kame, that’s all.”
“Eh? You did? And you didn’t tell me?” Jin pouts.
Pi laughs boisterously. “I wouldn’t tell you even if Kame’s ass loosened up, Bakanishi.”
“WHAT.” Jin gapes. Why would Pi be saying anything about Kame’s ass? How would he know? Don’t tell him - “WHAT.”
“It’s a figurative expression, Akanishi,” Nakamaru says.
“Or it isn’t.” Pi winks, enjoying the certainly figurative fumes coming out of Jin’s ears.
“There you are, Pi!” Kame says, coming up to Pi’s side with Koki in tow. “Let’s eat?”
“Right behind you, Kame-chan.” Pi makes sure to enunciate ‘behind”. Kame gives him a strange look. Jin’s fist clenches. The rest of the members all cough discreetly and look in other directions. Kame rolls his eyes and pulls Pi by the arm out of the premises, waves goodbye cheerfully and stumbles as if drunk.
“Did you see that, guys?” Jin blurts once the two are out of sight. “They are so going out!”
“Yamapi makes a few ass jokes and they’re going out? Puh-lease,” Koki laughs nervously.
“B-but if they aren’t, why would Pi say stuff like that in the first place? And why are they eating alone together? They don’t usually eat alone together!”
“…”
“I’m going after them,” Jin says firmly. “AND NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME.”
“Oh god,” Ueda moans, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
1 day prior
“Hey, is that -“ Kame peers behind him and Pi. He could have sworn Jin was following them.
Pi slings an arm across Kame’s shoulders. “You’re probably just being paranoid.”
“Stop that, what if the paparazzi sees?” Kame snaps, alarmed.
Pi shrugs. “It’s us rekindling our friendship.”
--
“This can’t be real,” Jin whispers to himself in horror as Pi slings a protective, loving arm around Kame. His Kame. And his best friend. Together. “This is a big joke. Yeah, that’s it. This is a big prank for a drama special. Or an Arashi show.”
Kame and Pi stop across a window of a men’s boutique, and after conversing for a few seconds, goes inside.
Jin angrily rubs his binoculars. “Nino, you can come out now. This isn’t funny anymore!”
--
Jin calls Kame that night while he’s pacing across his living room bare-footed. With every ‘ring, ring” Jin feels his heart slam to his stomach and back up again.
“Hello?”
“KAME,” Jin says, “ARE YOU AND PI DATING? HOW CAN YOU DATE HIM, HE HAS BOOBS.”
“…”
“…Kame?”
“Jin,” Kame finally says, “I have nothing to say to you. Goodnight.”
“NO, KAME, NO DON’T HANG -“ Click. “Up.”
Jin slumps to the floor and forces himself to sleep, thinking he’s going to have the worst day ever tomorrow.
The day
“Ueda, hide me!” Jin hisses anxiously as he sees Pi by the hallway near their rehearsal room. “I’m not talking to that asshole.”
“Don’t be a baby.” Ueda rolls his eyes and takes Jin arms off his shoulders.
“He’s dating Kame!”
“So? What’s it to you?”
“I - I -“
“Hey Jin!” Damnit, Pi saw him afterall. He should have hid behind Taguchi.
“I’m going home!” Jin announces loudly, calmly walks to his duffel bag and runs out the door, pushing past bewildered juniors.
--
“Jin, are you home?” Kame says to him on his cellphone hours later. “We need to talk. About what happened the other day. I’m so sorry for hanging up on you like that. It’s just -“
“No, you don’t have to explain anything, Kamenashi,” Jin bites back. “I know what this is all about.”
“You…you do?” Was that a gulp he just heard from the oh-so infallible Kame?
“Yeah, I do, you ugly, slant-eyed, anorexic monster.”
Kame sighs. “I’m at the sushi bar. Meet me there?”
“You don’t even remember what today is.”
“Please?” When Kame asked like this, it’s like being back in the old days again, when Kame would whisper, giggle, tell him secrets and come to him for help with his dances, because he didn’t know what to do, and oh god would he ever survive in the jimusho?
“I’ll be there in 20 minutes. But this doesn’t mean anything, okay.”
Kame pauses, hesitant. “Okay.”
--
Their stools are side by side in the cramped sushi bar. Kame orders them both hot chamomile tea. Jin is supposed to order a large platter of sushi and tempura but Kame advises him against it. “I think we should wait for dinner.”
“With Pi, no doubt,” Jin grumbles. He only had some measly ramen to come home to. They sip the tea in awkward silence for what seems like an awful amount of forever.
“Jin,” Kame starts, “Why are you so angry at Pi and I? What did we do?”
“Are you stupid, Kame,” Jin snaps. “You’re going around with Pi, hiding your relationship, going on secret dates -“
“Relationship?” Kame blinks.
“Don’t play dumb with me!” Jin says, cheeks uncannily red. “Why don’t you just admit you’re going out with him so we can get this over with?” He expects for Kame, judging from his the look on his face, to start crying and begging his forgiveness, maybe even throwing himself at Jin in a sincere gesture of apology. That would probably help speed up the forgiving process.
Instead, Kame starts cracking up. “What so funny?” Jin demands.
“Come on,” Kame gets up, tea half-finished. He takes Jin by the hand. “Let’s go back to your apartment.”
--
“Kame, if you think you can rape me while the lights are out -“ Jin starts to say when they both come inside darkness.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIN!”
A disco ball spins on the ceiling, confetti spills from above, banners reading “Happy Birthday, Jin” and “Tanjoubi Omedetou, Bakanishi" are written in Ueda’s English and Koki’s sloppy kanji. The lights and lamps he’s bought as souvenirs from America are covered with colored plastic. Beer-shaped glass decors hang from streamers. Almost everyone he was acquainted with and close to in the jimusho are there.
“You did this for me?” Jin musters in a small voice.
“Of course we did, Bakanishi. And mind you, it was no small feat,” Pi comes up to him and says, giving him a tight hug. “Kame-chan is such a pushover. Seriously, I didn’t get any sleep!”
Jin laughs. “You guys even got me glittery blue and red confetti. Tacky.”
“I told you.” Kame mock-punches Pi on the arm.
Jin looks on, at all the smiling faces that gave him his day, Kame’s hand on his right and Pi’s on his left. “It’s perfect.”
end
Author: momo (lovenaught)
Pairing: Akame, small bit of Pikame
Rating PG
Genre: This isn't deep at all. Crack and fun times yo.
Summary: Pi secretly asks Kame to help him throw Jin a surprise party.
Notes: Long overdue. For yamapea ♥. This was supposed to be a teeny drabble but I got carried away T__T. Part one is here.
In which Kame and Pi prepare for Jin’s birthday
4 days prior
“Kame-chan, your hair’s really nice today.”
Kame gives Pi a plain, disbelieving stare.
“No, really! I love the perm job,” he gushes, making weird googly eyes.
“…Pi, what’s this really about?”
“Ne, don’t be like that Kame-chan,” Pi says smoothly. “Can’t friends who miss each other so much take some time off their busy schedules to see each other once in a while?”
Kame stares at him some more. Pi’s smile starts to waver under his no-nonsense gaze.
“Okay, fine,” he huffs. “The thing is, Jin’s birthday is coming up soon. Right?”
Kame nods. “In a few days.”
“Right, right. And well, see, I want to ask your help preparing for this bangin’ birthday bash I’m planning -“
Kame rolls his eyes. “If it involves strippers and me coming out of any orifice, count me out.”
“Aw, come on, that was one time!” Pi whines. Kame had obviously not forgotten the incident at Koki’s birthday party where the girl they’d hired to come out of the cake came down with a nasty flu at the last minute, had called up Nakamaru and gave him her Vegas girl costume. It was when Kame entered the room to the gang holding up the flimsy outfit that the party was saved, in true JE fashion. Needless to say, Koki was one very happy camper.
“The show must go on, huh?” Kame says in spite, slightly shivering at the memory.
“So what do you say? Please, Kame, pleeeaase?” Pi draws out, taking his hand and stroking it lovingly.
“Cut that out,” Kame says, swatting Pi’s hand away.
“So you’ll say yes? Please? If you don’t want to think of Jin, you can just think of it as a labor of love for me!”
Kame rubs his temple. Somehow that thought seemed worse. “What do you want me to do?”
3 days prior
“Okay, so I was thinking - maybe we should go with the red confetti instead of the blue one?”
Over the other end of the line, Pi stifles a yawn. “Kame-chan, we’ve been at this for hours.”
“Are you saying we should get the blue confetti? I think the blue confetti matches Jin’s wallpaper. Or is it too non-birthday party?”
“…How about both?”
“Won’t that look too tacky?”
“It’s 3 am in the morning,” Pi replies dryly. “Do you really expect me to be able to give great party advice at this time? Besides, as if Jin hasn’t seen a horrid blue/red combination before.”
Kame hmphs. “Well, it’s your fault I’m even onboard in the first place. Anyway, I checked some stores before I went home and they have these really nice, glittery blue confetti. Oh! And these gorgeous glass decors that we can hang on the ceiling. They have…” Pi hears some shuffling, and a pen ticking off paper. “Musical notes, Dogs in 10 different breeds, Songwriting sheets, leather jackets -“
“Do they have beer-shaped ones?”
“Uhm, yeah. Why?”
Pi gives a weak, sleepy laugh. “Get that one. That would be hilarious.”
Kame sighs, long-suffering. “Fine.”
“I’ve never heard you talk so much,” Pi remarks. And he hasn’t, not in a long time. “You must be really psyched about this.”
“It’s kinda fun,” Kame admits. Pi can hear the smile on his face. He also realizes that no one has probably commissioned Kame to do this kind of thing before- the poor kid. “Are we meeting tomorrow? We should. I still don’t know what kind of confetti you want.”
“Yes, dear. Tomorrow at that restaurant across the building.”
“Super Bowl? Sure. I’ll be free at 2 pm from rehearsals.”
“I’ll be off an hour early, but I’ll meet you outside your dressing room.”
“Okay. Goodnight, Pi.”
“Goodnight, Kame-chan.”
“…So you really think we should go for both colors?”
Click.
2 days prior
“Yo, KAT-TUN!” Pi happily slurs at Jin, Ueda and Nakamaru the next morning with noticeably bloodshot eyes. “Or at least half of you. Where are the others?”
“What happened to you?” Ueda asks. Pi doesn’t know Ueda enough to say if the tone is concerned or suspicious. It’s probably both.
“Oh, nothing,” Pi sing-songs. “I had a late-night date with Kame, that’s all.”
“Eh? You did? And you didn’t tell me?” Jin pouts.
Pi laughs boisterously. “I wouldn’t tell you even if Kame’s ass loosened up, Bakanishi.”
“WHAT.” Jin gapes. Why would Pi be saying anything about Kame’s ass? How would he know? Don’t tell him - “WHAT.”
“It’s a figurative expression, Akanishi,” Nakamaru says.
“Or it isn’t.” Pi winks, enjoying the certainly figurative fumes coming out of Jin’s ears.
“There you are, Pi!” Kame says, coming up to Pi’s side with Koki in tow. “Let’s eat?”
“Right behind you, Kame-chan.” Pi makes sure to enunciate ‘behind”. Kame gives him a strange look. Jin’s fist clenches. The rest of the members all cough discreetly and look in other directions. Kame rolls his eyes and pulls Pi by the arm out of the premises, waves goodbye cheerfully and stumbles as if drunk.
“Did you see that, guys?” Jin blurts once the two are out of sight. “They are so going out!”
“Yamapi makes a few ass jokes and they’re going out? Puh-lease,” Koki laughs nervously.
“B-but if they aren’t, why would Pi say stuff like that in the first place? And why are they eating alone together? They don’t usually eat alone together!”
“…”
“I’m going after them,” Jin says firmly. “AND NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME.”
“Oh god,” Ueda moans, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
1 day prior
“Hey, is that -“ Kame peers behind him and Pi. He could have sworn Jin was following them.
Pi slings an arm across Kame’s shoulders. “You’re probably just being paranoid.”
“Stop that, what if the paparazzi sees?” Kame snaps, alarmed.
Pi shrugs. “It’s us rekindling our friendship.”
--
“This can’t be real,” Jin whispers to himself in horror as Pi slings a protective, loving arm around Kame. His Kame. And his best friend. Together. “This is a big joke. Yeah, that’s it. This is a big prank for a drama special. Or an Arashi show.”
Kame and Pi stop across a window of a men’s boutique, and after conversing for a few seconds, goes inside.
Jin angrily rubs his binoculars. “Nino, you can come out now. This isn’t funny anymore!”
--
Jin calls Kame that night while he’s pacing across his living room bare-footed. With every ‘ring, ring” Jin feels his heart slam to his stomach and back up again.
“Hello?”
“KAME,” Jin says, “ARE YOU AND PI DATING? HOW CAN YOU DATE HIM, HE HAS BOOBS.”
“…”
“…Kame?”
“Jin,” Kame finally says, “I have nothing to say to you. Goodnight.”
“NO, KAME, NO DON’T HANG -“ Click. “Up.”
Jin slumps to the floor and forces himself to sleep, thinking he’s going to have the worst day ever tomorrow.
The day
“Ueda, hide me!” Jin hisses anxiously as he sees Pi by the hallway near their rehearsal room. “I’m not talking to that asshole.”
“Don’t be a baby.” Ueda rolls his eyes and takes Jin arms off his shoulders.
“He’s dating Kame!”
“So? What’s it to you?”
“I - I -“
“Hey Jin!” Damnit, Pi saw him afterall. He should have hid behind Taguchi.
“I’m going home!” Jin announces loudly, calmly walks to his duffel bag and runs out the door, pushing past bewildered juniors.
--
“Jin, are you home?” Kame says to him on his cellphone hours later. “We need to talk. About what happened the other day. I’m so sorry for hanging up on you like that. It’s just -“
“No, you don’t have to explain anything, Kamenashi,” Jin bites back. “I know what this is all about.”
“You…you do?” Was that a gulp he just heard from the oh-so infallible Kame?
“Yeah, I do, you ugly, slant-eyed, anorexic monster.”
Kame sighs. “I’m at the sushi bar. Meet me there?”
“You don’t even remember what today is.”
“Please?” When Kame asked like this, it’s like being back in the old days again, when Kame would whisper, giggle, tell him secrets and come to him for help with his dances, because he didn’t know what to do, and oh god would he ever survive in the jimusho?
“I’ll be there in 20 minutes. But this doesn’t mean anything, okay.”
Kame pauses, hesitant. “Okay.”
--
Their stools are side by side in the cramped sushi bar. Kame orders them both hot chamomile tea. Jin is supposed to order a large platter of sushi and tempura but Kame advises him against it. “I think we should wait for dinner.”
“With Pi, no doubt,” Jin grumbles. He only had some measly ramen to come home to. They sip the tea in awkward silence for what seems like an awful amount of forever.
“Jin,” Kame starts, “Why are you so angry at Pi and I? What did we do?”
“Are you stupid, Kame,” Jin snaps. “You’re going around with Pi, hiding your relationship, going on secret dates -“
“Relationship?” Kame blinks.
“Don’t play dumb with me!” Jin says, cheeks uncannily red. “Why don’t you just admit you’re going out with him so we can get this over with?” He expects for Kame, judging from his the look on his face, to start crying and begging his forgiveness, maybe even throwing himself at Jin in a sincere gesture of apology. That would probably help speed up the forgiving process.
Instead, Kame starts cracking up. “What so funny?” Jin demands.
“Come on,” Kame gets up, tea half-finished. He takes Jin by the hand. “Let’s go back to your apartment.”
--
“Kame, if you think you can rape me while the lights are out -“ Jin starts to say when they both come inside darkness.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIN!”
A disco ball spins on the ceiling, confetti spills from above, banners reading “Happy Birthday, Jin” and “Tanjoubi Omedetou, Bakanishi" are written in Ueda’s English and Koki’s sloppy kanji. The lights and lamps he’s bought as souvenirs from America are covered with colored plastic. Beer-shaped glass decors hang from streamers. Almost everyone he was acquainted with and close to in the jimusho are there.
“You did this for me?” Jin musters in a small voice.
“Of course we did, Bakanishi. And mind you, it was no small feat,” Pi comes up to him and says, giving him a tight hug. “Kame-chan is such a pushover. Seriously, I didn’t get any sleep!”
Jin laughs. “You guys even got me glittery blue and red confetti. Tacky.”
“I told you.” Kame mock-punches Pi on the arm.
Jin looks on, at all the smiling faces that gave him his day, Kame’s hand on his right and Pi’s on his left. “It’s perfect.”
end