Rich Boy, Poor Boy - 2/2
Title: Rich Boy, Poor Boy - Part Two.
Author: omona_shi
Pair: Eunhyuk/Donghae
Genre: !fluff, minor, minor !angst
Rating: G
Warnings: Um. A failed ending.
Summary: [Second half to Rich Boy, Poor Boy - 1/2] Hyukjae never asked to live like this, but he didn't ask for improvements either. But how could he possibly say no- despite his very, very, correct rational conscience- to someone with a smile like that?
Disclaimer: I don't own Super Junior. Although I'm getting Hae as a Christmas present.
Rich Boy, Poor Boy - Part Two
An Eunhae Two-shot !aufic
“Hyukjae, don’t you think that sometimes if you look out the window or a balcony of some sort you feel like you’re trapped in some kind of warped life when there’s so much going on out there?”
Hyukjae chuckled quietly and looked at Donghae with an amused air.
“Is this one of your weird philosophical space questions again?”
His smile faded, when he noticed that Donghae wasn’t smiling back. Hyukjae sighed instead, leaning back against the cushion lined, sofa swing and joined Donghae in staring outside at the beautiful city of lights that was Seoul. The two boys had chosen to sit there about half an hour ago, courtesy to Donghae. Previously, Hyukjae had been peacefully completing his economics paper when Donghae had hopped into his room and dragged him by the hand out onto their balcony.
They lived on the highest floor in the Gangnam District and undoubtedly they had one of the best views around- Hyukjae more than often hid in his balcony, staring at the rest of the world and reminiscing back to the days when he had been worse than the people who had nothing. Hyukjae flicked the sides of his fringe upwards casually and turned to his friend with an open mouth, ready to speak. However, the words died unceremoniously on the tip of his tongue as soon as he did.
All it took was one glance at Donghae’s serious expression for him to feel a familiar warmth somewhere inside, only then it had somehow changed from the glowing warmth he had known into an alien, frantic rhythm fluttering about in his chest.
“Hyukkie? Are you alright?”
“Yeah- why?”
“You’re gripping your shirt really hard.”
Hyukjae quickly looked down and immediately flushed with embarrassment when he noticed that as he had thought to himself his hand had slowly slid up to grasp his own shirt tightly into a knot where his left chest was.
“Just slightly hot, that’s all.”
“Hyuk, the aircon from inside is blowing at us.”
Hyukjae’s face only flushed brighter and he allowed both hands to fall abashedly to his sides, rocking the swing backwards and forwards with the balls of his feet.
Lee Hyukjae wasn’t stupid- he knew from all the books he had read roughly what he was experiencing, but the problem was that he’d been with Donghae for all these years and all of a sudden throwing in the idea that he was in love with someone who was very much like his own brother would most likely destroy what they had maintained for all these years. Hyukjae’s gaze flickered downwards to stare at the beautifully white tiled floor instead of having to face the other, thinking all the while no, it wasn’t possible for one to have everything.
What the boy had failed to notice was Donghae’s intent gaze on him- flickering in his deep brown eyes a mixture of raw adoration and an unrecognizable pain.
- - - - -
“Donghae-ah,” Leeteuk stuck his head around the door, his wide, brown eyes searching for his dongsaeng, “are you in there?”
Silence greeted him as the only things that stared back in reply were the cartoons on the calendars and the lone BoA poster stuck opposite the king sized bed. Somehow, Leeteuk had a bad feeling about this and he felt his breathing quicken at the thought of Donghae with Hyukjae. Although Leeteuk wasn’t even in the house for seventy percent of the time, he was a brother after all- and things such as friendship, brotherhood, even romance, couldn’t possibly escape his notice.
Stepping awkwardly back into the spacious corridor, Leeteuk sighed and headed to the kitchen instead, guessing that the rich scent he had inhaled earlier on wasn’t from the cook.
“Yah- you two, don’t you guys have work to do?” he called out with a gentle smile on his face to the two boys- although they had grown much into beautiful men from when Hyukjae had first arrived in his study, little more than beggar. Leeteuk’s heart softened a little more as he thought back on all those years the two boys had spent together in blissful company and he knew that what he was about to do would not only shatter both their hearts, but tear his own into half as he’d watch them both cry and beg him not to do this.
This scene with the three of them- Hyukjae and Donghae trying their hands at cooking; Leeteuk standing there with a grin on his own face as he watched; the angelic sound of their innocent laughter as the three of them mucked around- would never happen ever again after this night.
“It’s all for next week, hyung, and anyway, we got bored so we decided to make dinner tonight.”
“Hae, why am I not surprised?” Leeteuk quickly shot his hand out to catch the sieve that had been violently thrown in his direction before it landed on his face.
“You’d be scared if I became like Hyuk, studying all the time. Do you even know how hard it was to get him off that new MacPro you bought him?”
There was a sigh.
“Watching porn again, I suppose.”
“WHAT- IT WAS ONLY THAT TIME, YOU CAN’T MARK ME FOR THAT FOREVER-“
“Donghae, would you come with me for a moment please?”
There was a period of silence in the kitchen before Donghae shrugged carelessly and dropped his lettuce back onto the chopping board before heading out with Leeteuk mouthing an ‘I’ll be back’ to Hyukjae over his shoulder.
Donghae found himself being led into Leeteuk’s bedroom- somewhere he had not been in for a few years already- and was sat down on the comfortable surface, suddenly reminded of the days when his hyung and he and Hyuk would slink into this very bed at night and huddle close to the elder, squishing him between two kids. Donghae smiled carefully at his brother.
“What’s the matter, hyung?”
Leeteuk ran his fingers through his hair in a frustrated manner, as was his habit and spun around on his chair to face Donghae.
“You’re leaving in two weeks for California. Make good use of the time left.”
Five minutes later, Donghae was back at the kitchen counter, finishing cutting up his vegetables.
“What’s wrong, Hae?” Hyukjae asked innocently.
“Nothing- ah! The water’s boiling!”
Leeteuk couldn’t miss the new lack of enthusiasm in his brother’s eyes and that bittersweet smile that he gave Hyukjae ever so often as he turned around and left.
- - - - -
Dear Hyukjae,
Hey.
I honestly don’t know what to write to you- I’m just here with a pen in hand, sitting silently in front of a blank piece of paper. I have no structure at all and all I know is that I won’t leave without giving you something to remember me by.
Lee Hyukjae. Thank you for being my everything for the past five years. Thank you for always being there for me and…
Okay. This sounds really clichéd but I mean it. No one has been like you, so hardworking, so understanding and do you remember that time when you fist came to my school and I made you cry?
I’m still sorry about that.
I’ve left for boarding school now, and hyung’s keeping me overseas until I’ve finished university. He wants me to get into Harvard- do you think I can do it? Out of all the people I know, you should be the most blear of my English standard.
I know how you feel about me, Hyukjae.
I’ve seen the way you look at me and how silent you’ve become around me.
Why didn’t you say anything?
I love you, Lee Hyukjae.
But you have to find someone else- a pretty girl from our school or somewhere- a person who can be there for you.
Unlike me.
Gosh, I’m sorry for crying right now and making the paper wet and the ink all blotchy and stuff. Hope you can still read it.
I’ll miss you, Hyukkie, and I wish you all the best in your studies.
Maybe someday we can see each other again, but for now, it’s goodbye.
Love you,
Hae.
- - - - -
It was already beginning to drizzle and with a briefcase in hand, Hyukjae was running rather pathetically down the cement road to the rather professional looking building ahead. Gratefully, he pushed around the circling glass door and arrived, panting, in front of the secretary desk in disarray.
“Excuse me, I’m here for a job interview.”
“Your name, sir?”
No matter how unimpressed she was, the secretary hid it perfectly behind her framed yellow glasses and continued to type into her computer.
“Eunhyuk.”
The secretary raised her eyebrows again at the missing surname, but remained silent as Hyukjae watched her sceptically, as if daring her to mention that little problem.
“Thirty-fifth floor, and may I add, sir, that your tie is undone.”
There was a moment of silence between the two and Hyukjae picked up his briefcase from the marble floor of the lobby.
“I assure you, sir, that you will not get your job if you do not do it up. Especially for what you’re interviewing for.”
“Thank you, ma’am, for your kind advice.” Hyukjae grinned at the shocked expression on the secretary’s face and continued on his way up, chortling delightfully as he did so. It was rather amusing, the way she had stared at him in absolute revulsion.
“Thirty-fifth floor. 第三十五樓. Trente cinquième étage. Treinta quinto piso. тридцать пятого этажа.”
“Wow, smart lift.”
Hyukjae stepped out of the metal box and onto the smooth redness of the carpeted floor. Really, to him, it felt more of a hotel rather than a business building, but he didn’t complain as the cleaners passing by bowed respectfully before carrying on their way.
“Excuse me, please wait here.”
“Of course.”
In the corridors it was a beautiful silence, but as one entered one of the many rooms through a simple glass door, it was frighteningly busy as people or messengers rushed about to pass on information, mail and things like that. Quickly, the woman reappeared back at his side ad guided him to a massive, glass box with curtains rolled down on all sides.
“The boss is waiting for you.”
Eunhyuk gave her a gracious thank you and took a deep breath before opening the door and walked in to what would most likely be another tedious half an hour.
“…what?”
The room was empty. Hyukjae grinned quietly to himself as he carefully placed his briefcase onto one of the spare chairs and slipped his portfolio out. This was indeed a rather interesting place.
A sudden bang brought his attention to the door and there was a man, panting just like Hyukjae had been a few minutes ago and he ran his fingers through his hair in a rather unnervingly familiar fashion as he tried in vain to improve his own appearance in front of his own interviewee.
“My apologies, my assistant seems to have missed me saying that I needed the toilet badly- oh.”
Hyukjae found himself frozen in his rigid position on the rather comfortable couch, but forced himself to stand up with his legs still slightly unstable, but his eyes remained locked onto the other man’s startled rich brown ones all the while.
“…Donghae?”
There was no reply from the other. He simply bent down, avoiding Hyukjae’s eyes at all costs and picked up his portfolio gingerly, turning back into the CEO he was. It hurt Hyukjae- a sharp stab down his torso, but he shoved it down, obeying quietly as Donghae gestured towards the seat in front of the desk.
“So,” the occasional flip of a page brings Hyukjae back down to Earth as those fingers he thought he knew so well flicked around the edges carelessly, almost playing with it as if it was something not worth the years of records, effort and tears put into that collection of achievements, “your name?”
Hyukjae’s eyes harden- what was he playing at? He couldn’t really have forgotten him, could he?
“Eunhyuk.”
“Your real name. You know, the one on your passport?”
Hyukjae exploded. He wasn’t the impatient type; it was always Donghae who blew up, who got bored, who decided to do all sorts of wacky things, but it was time for Hyukjae to show a little emotion. In a flash of movement, he had leaned forwards and wrapped his own fingers tightly around the checker tie and yanked Donghae forwards so that their faces were only inches apart.
“Is this how you treat me? After that letter you left behind without even saying a word? Do you know how I felt?”
“I’m sorry.”
“You owe me, Donghae, you owe me.”
“I’m said I was sorry!” Donghae stood up abruptly, causing his chair to fly uncontrollably into the bookshelf behind him, but neither man cared, “I knew that if I talked to you, I wouldn’t be able to go!”
“Why did you?!”
“Because I wanted to be who I am now!”
Both he and Hyukjae knew that one more wrong question, and the tears would come spilling out. It was always Donghae who cried, Donghae who felt everything, and this time was no different. Even after six years.
“But-“
“We’re different now, Hyukjae. Can’t you see? We know entirely different people, we live entirely different lives… this isn’t meant for us to be. Everything that can be different is different.”
Hyukjae let go of the fabric, allowing it to slip delicately through his fingers loosely.
“But we can make this happen. We still know each other- that’s what’s important.”
The brown eyes shifted away uncomfortably, as if lost for words- but they suddenly flickered towards the glass door of the office and Donghae jerked away with a twitch and fixed his tie with a hand.
“I think you should go.”
He didn’t know how to leave that room, how to face the outside world again without showing a change of expression, so he picked up one of the pens lying around and scribbled something on the notepad laid next to the thin, LCD monitor of his computer and stepped out of the office, not turning back to show the lone streak of moisture that left one side of his cheek glistening with the office lights flashing in his face.
- - - - -
“Hyukjae.”
Hyukjae looked up slowly from his papers, moving to stand up whilst scribbling furiously to finish the sentence.
“Donghae.”
The man seemed extremely uncomfortable on his feet, rubbing nervously at his arm, his chocolate brown eyes flickering here and there insecurely, and his posture indicated that no, he really didn’t want to be there.
“I came.”
“I know.”
Step by step, the sound muffled against the white carpeting, Hyukjae kept his gaze on Donghae’s as he advanced, slowly, steadily.
“What does this mean then? You came. You didn’t have to.”
“What- you requested my presence,” Hyukjae chuckled slightly at the fact that Donghae was trying to keep their conversation formal and distant, but failing adorably, “so I came. As a sign of respect… or… something…”
His voice faded away when Hyukjae’s steely expression was suddenly replaced with a soft one, one full of love and years of harboured feelings. No, he couldn’t let himself go just because of a stupid expression…
“Please, Hae, this used to be our world, this thing we had. Remember? You, me and Teuk-hyung. It’s nothing new, it’s just trying to piece back what we had broken.”
Silence. Hyukjae noticed the slight trembling of Donghae’s lower lip as he fought the urge to speak, to cry, to scream, but in the end it got the better of him. As always.
“I’m sorry, okay? You don’t know how hard it was to keep the fact that I was leaving, away from you so that you wouldn’t ask me to stay! Do you even know how many days I had spent in America staring at your damn number on my phone, forcing myself to press delete although I was practically sobbing your name into my pillow all day? All I’d wanted was to carry on life as it had been, to live with you like we had been for all those years. I had to give you up, Hyuk. I couldn’t just leave you hanging there on a thread that you know would break. I’m sorry I’ve always been weak. I’ve never been able to speak up to you, tell you that I knew, tell you that I loved you too…” his voice faded away with each word, and that sour pain in his throat came up even harder and his eyes glistened with forced back moisture. It ached, Hyukjae’s heart. Donghae shouldn’t have been in such a state, he should just have said something.
“But we can start from the beginning again. The six years, we can throw away and we’d just be Hyukjae and Donghae, not some CEO or anyone-“ Hyukjae quickly lifted his hand to brush away the angry tears on the other’s flaming cheek with a dry sleeve, “-just like the ‘us’ that we both knew we could have been.”
“I’m sorry, Hyuk.” The words came out muffled on the backside of Donghae’s hand as he sniffled into it, hoping that he’d come out as just crying instead of sobbing like he was.
Carefully, Hyukjae reached out, placed a palm gently on Donghae’s cheek, and leaned in.
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