(no subject)

[omoffdm]

For some reason i'm missing him so much that it is actually killing me right now. I feel this sudden wave of depression and im just trying to repress these feelings of gloom and doom. Just to have one more moment right now with him would be the greatest thing i could ever dream up. It is all so crazy this love business. I dont like feeling like this. Feeling so open and naked to these feelings. I dont like being so submersive to anyone really anymore. I've found comfort in my isolation from the world and people. I've found drowning myself in my work is fullfilling and enjoyable. And get's things done right and perfect. Perfection is always key. And my work is the only thing I can say rightfully that goes anywhere near the lines of perfection. My mind body and spirit are far off from being anywhere close to perfection as hard as i try to accomplish the unattainable. I just wish he was around to come home to again. Everything felt just like it should and not abnormally wrong and horrendous. Will I ever get to see him again? Is a question I'm afraid to answer because I know a part of me want's to say No it's for the better that way...and the other part say's He's your soul mate and belong with him and you'll see him soon, just be patient. What if i'm tired of being patient? Why can't I be happy now and not later? Why cant I enjoy life with someone like everyone around me is? I guess it's a trend that i shouldn't follow. I never have so why try to start now?

My fear, To be alone forever...