Kingka Kiss! (4/9)
Fandom: Big Bang
Pairing: G-TOP / BaeRi / Baeji / Daeji
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff/Romance
previous chapters: one, two & three
“I overreacted yesterday,” Youngbae said as he sat on the step of Seungri’s stoop staring at the houses across the street, Seungri standing in his doorway, letting the smoke draft out after failing to cook a stack of pancakes for his sister this morning before she left for band camp.
“Yeah, you did.” Seungri folded his arms. The last night had been the start of a terrible week of vacation from school. He had spent the whole time walking home with his hyungs the previous night trying to change the subject from Youngbae to something else. I lost him. Seungri had lied when he got back to them, causing Jiyong to explain the genius of his plans and how they should actually follow them in the future. Seungri laughed as he thought about it. In the future… as if there were going to be tons of occasions like it later on. All he knew was his future with Youngbae was looking bleak… if Youngbae was cheating on him anyway. He hadn’t said anything yet. There wasn’t really any proof that he was cheating per say. More that he was a big fat liar.
“So did you make me any?” Youngbae said, filling in the looming silence between them.
“Any what?” Seungri retorted right away, his voice abrupt, dripping in irritation.
“I don’t know. Whatever you burnt. I’m hungry.” Youngbae remained patient, expecting Seungri to be angry.
Seungri’s expression soured even more as Youngbae sighed after another minute of silence. Yet another cue that he wanted Seungri to talk, in most situations a prompt for Seungri to entertain. Well, you can’t always get what you want, can you Youngbae? Seungri huffed before bringing his arms in closer to him, crossing them even tighter.
“I threw it away,” Seungri said before another bout of silence fell between them. ”Well…I’ll talk to you later,” he said after watching Youngbae observe a couple of ahjummas walk to the corner.
“Seungri… Are you really still angry about how I felt?” he asked without turning back to see his slightly irate boyfriend.
“No. Not at all.” Seungri tried to mask his anger, a false and airy quality to his voice.
Youngbae stood up, looking down the street carefully, then the other way.
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” Youngbae said, placing his hands in his jacket’s pocket. He bit his lip in concentration, studying the street once more. “I came over to apologize.”
“Okay. Well, you should start by actually apologizing then,” Seungri tried to say something he thought a stronger person would say in this position. Youngbae smiled smugly without turning away from watching a young woman across the street walk out of her house and get into her car. “That’s true,” he replied. He inspected his shoe before watching the car drive off and turning towards Seungri.
“I really should apologize.” Youngbae’s voice was low and deep as he stepped closer to Seungri, causing him to move over to the side a bit, avoiding his slow and steady advance.
“What are you doing?”
Youngbae cocked his head to the side, speaking lowly, “Well, I’m trying to apologize.”
Seungri felt a very uneasy feeling slip around his stomach, a quiver working its way up his body. He pressed his hands against Youngbae’s forearms as the older boy placed his hands lightly on his sides. His heart began to beat fast as he heard its echo in his ears, ringing through him. Youngbae brought his lips to Seungri’s ear, letting them softly brush its outer rim. “I’m really sorry, Lee Seunghyun.”
The use of his whole name was unusual but for some reason made the skin on his neck hotter, the red of his face get brighter. He gasped as he felt Youngbae’s lips peck his neck before sucking lightly, his tongue darting out to taste him for a second, the shortest second Seungri had ever experienced, making him doubt that that minor detail had happened, before Youngbae stepped back. His presence gone just as Seungri forgot about how risky it was, snapping him back to reality.
Seungri blinked rapidly as he sputtered in protest. “How could you do something like that!? Youngbae! What if someone saw? Are you fucking crazy?”
“Seungri…” His familiar warning was low. Watch your mouth.
“Still!”
“No one is here.”
“How do you know that? How can you be sure? What are you going to do if someone saw Youngbae? It’s not okay if-“
“That couple in the blue house is gone every week day. Orange house is for sale. The two across the street, the ahjummas in them meet for breakfast every morning as part of their speed walking routine. Down the street, she just left to teach her kindergarten class. They start later than I thought though. That or she’s late. I had to wait forever,” Youngbae pointed to the houses as he explained before looking at his watch observing the time the kindergarten teacher had left.
“Your mom’s at a spin class,” he continued,”Your sister is at the school in band camp. The other four kids on our street go to public school. They’re out next week. Not this week. So they’re in school. My dad is working in his office with her,” Youngbae’s voice soured temporarily as he spoke of his father’s long time mistress before going back to its monotone matter-of-fact tone. “I’ve thought about this a long time. I’m not stupid.”
Seungri stopped for a minute, truly thinking about his hyung’s words. “You mean…You actually think of places and times you can get away with touching me?”
“All the time.” Youngbae confessed candidly before thinking about how vulnerable he had become, his face flushing red as he awkwardly looked away from Seungri, whose smile was growing wider by the second. “Oh whatever, Seungri. Not all the time but some of the time…I guess,” he stared at his shoes.
It was strange to see him be so bashful, to see him blush. Seungri thought of how rarely they hug and touch. How he had been begging Youngbae to take their relationship further for months. He felt so glad to not be the only one yearning for more between them.
“Don’t look at me with that face.”
“What face?” Seungri asked, a smug smirk plastered across his lips.
“That face. Stop it. Don’t,” Youngbae protested as Seungri grabbed on Youngbae’s hoodie, teasing him more, the physical contact between them making Youngbae even more coy. Moments like this, Seungri didn’t want them to end. He put all their problems to the side for now, resolving to just assume the best and enjoy this while he had it. “Stop. I said, I don’t think about it all the time,” Youngbae said as he shied away from Seungri’s light tickling.
“You totally think about it all the time,” Seungri said pulling on the zipper of Youngbae’s hoodie and planting a peck on his lips before leading him into the house, suddenly inspired to try making those pancakes again.
“Get silverware for that!” Seungri spat out with his mouth full.
“Really? You’re going to tell me how to eat with those table manners,” Youngbae replied sarcastically as he rolled up his pancake as if it was an empty burrito.
“Even a bear would eat a pancake with silverware. It’s messy otherwise.” Seungri said the words like a know it all, physically looking down his nose as he spoke, his head tossed back as he pointed to Youngbae with his fork.
“I’m not even eating it with syrup,” Youngbae explained in a low whine. Seungri prided himself on being the only one who was able to coax those out of him.
“I’m ashamed.”
“Well, I made it,” Youngbae declared.
“You did not!” Seungri exclaimed before receiving a dull stare from Youngbae. “Yeah, right. You can’t even grease a pan,” Youngbae replied before taking a bite out of his pancake.
“Well, I watched and I helped.”
“You hindered. Touching me while I’m trying to cook isn’t helping.”
“It could be…”
“It wasn’t,” Youngbae replied. They sat together at the counter side by side. Seungri turned towards Youngbae, dropping his fork on the counter.
“Why do you get like that?”
“Like what?” Youngbae furrowed his brow as he took a drink of orange juice. Seungri watched his neck gulp as he swallowed; his lips pressed on the edge of the glass, the whole thing making his own lips part as he anticipated Youngbae’s every movement. The muscle in his arm tensing as he bent his arm, holding the glass or the decisive movements of his fingers as he rolled his pancake back up from dropping it on his plate.
“Why don’t- Why don’t we touch each other more or…kiss more,” Seungri said kiss like it was a curse word as he put his hands on Youngbae’s thigh.
“Why do we have to?” Youngbae asked quickly, as if not even willing to think about it for longer than a minute. He brushed Seungri’s hand away.
“Why don’t you want to?” Seungri asked slowly.
“Seungri…”
“Don’t ‘Seungri…’ me. I want you to actually act like my boyfriend. I know it’s hard for you and you’d rather be off with someone else but you could at least act like it some time. Girls my age have to beg guys to get off of them. I have to beg you for a middle school kiss.” The truth was, he could get past it. He knew how Youngbae was, how withdrawn he could be. But every time he thought they were getting closer, more…intimate, Youngbae would create this barrier, as if he didn’t want him or he didn’t find him attractive. Maybe he does…But just not as attractive as Minji… The thought came to his mind before he could swat it away, suspicion creeping into his heart once more.
“Seungri having to force your boyfriend off of you isn’t a good thing. Don’t you want me to actually respect you?”
“Respect me, not reject me. There’s a difference.” Seungri stopped and tried a half hearted advance, placing his hand on Youngbae’s thigh again. “Don’t you want to- I don’t know. Be more serious.”
“We are serious. I love you.” Youngbae said earnestly.
“Then touch me. Be with me. I want to feel you against me. I want you to come upstairs with me.”
Youngbae looked reluctant but willing, allowing Seungri’s hand to began stroking his leg, moving north. The older boy started to bite his lip before shaking his head and standing up off of his stool. “Even if I wanted to I can’t. Minji has a soccer game. I promised I’d go.”
“What? How does our school even have sports?” Seungri said, the words not even making sense to him.
“You’re the worst student ever,” Youngbae smiled softly, only to meet a scowl from Seungri. “You don’t even know your school’s events.”
“So while we’re in the middle of this you’re going to walk away from me to go see Minji.”
“Don’t say it like that.”
“That’s how it is though.” Seungri stared at his plate.
“I haven’t hung out with her in a while. I promised I’d go.”
“What are you talking about!? You have time to go to the movies with her, she goes and sees you at school,” Seungri stood up, “She sees you more than I do.”
“What are you talking about Seungri?”
“You know what? Forget it. Just keep doing what you’re doing. I really don’t care. Cause I have lots of options Youngbae. I don’t have to try things with you. I could do them with anyone.”
“Try things…What do you mean try things?”
Seungri shrugged, smiling defiantly, glad to have shaken things up on his own terms between them. Glad to have asserted himself in some way as Youngbae grew angrier and angrier his brow furrowing as he stood up, following Seungri down the hall.
“What do you mean? With who?” Youngbae spoke, his voice raised for the first time in what seemed like forever before Seungri shoved past him and up the stairs.
“Just let yourself out,” he tried to sound nonchalant but his voice cracked as he ran up the stairs, trying not to cry.
“Seungri, what are you talking about? What do you mean?” Youngbae said, yelling, his voice somehow still softer and more upset all at the same time as Seungri, who had shut himself in his room, tried to figure out how to stop the tears he knew were coming.
**********
“You’re overreacting and he’s being insensitive.” Seunghyun summed up his thoughts on Seungri’s account of the last few days in a sentence before looking to him with a frown. “Stop crying.” He awkwardly placed his hand on Seungri’s shoulder before going back to reading his book on European monarchs of the fifteenth century, adjusting his square rim eyeglasses, pushing them up his nose. Seungri had gone to his hyung’s house, tired of moping around an empty house.
Jiyong lifted himself onto the counter he sat on, peeling a banana. He hadn’t been home since Seunghyun had taken him to his place, instead opting to stick around, sitting on counters and lying on tables, like a spider monkey.
“Why don’t you just forget about him for a day and have some fun with us,” he said before biting into his banana. His voice was completely casual, as if he threw the suggestion out without thought. It was strange to see him be so amicable while Seungri was there and Seunghyun stopped reading and stared at him for a minute, wondering what was getting into him.
“I should. I told him, I don’t have to stick around him. I have other options.”
“You said that?” Jiyong said through a smile, his eyebrows raised in surprise. Seungri nodded vehemently.
“You sound like a girl or something.” Jiyong said laughing. Seungri blushed in embarrassment. He was new to this whole standing up for himself thing, usually pouting or wallowing. He didn’t know how to really make a stand without being admittedly melodramatic.
“Well, I don’t care. He should know that…Right?”
“It depends,” Seunghyun said without looking up from his book. “Do you want to make him nervous or let him know you want to break up?”
Seungri felt his heart stop a minute at the thought of breaking up, “I didn’t say anything about breaking up.”
“But you’re here. As if you’re going out to find someone else.” Jiyong said, taking another huge bite of banana, kicking his legs as he sat on the counter.
“But Youngbae didn’t take it that way.”
“Feeling sorry for yourself and making assumptions. Something you and Youngbae have in common,” Seunghyun said, turning a page in his book.
“So in his eyes, you’ve all but said you want a new boyfriend,” Jiyong continued for Seunghyun as if they were linked in thought.
“I’m not going to apologize, He is cheating on me.” Seungri said the last part of his statement as if it was a secret being told in a crowded room.
“He’s probably not cheating on you,” Seunghyun said after releasing a big sigh.
“Although ditching you to go to the movies with a girl is kind of…suspicious.” Jiyong said, peeling his banana peel down further to get to the last of it.
“Going to the movies, or needing some me time is not a crime,” Seunghyun argued.
“Why are you defending him anyway? He hates you,” Jiyong answered rudely. Seunghyun looked up from his book.
“It’s not about him. It’s about Seungri.” Seunghyun stopped and turned to his dongsaeng with a small smile. It was warm. The kind of warm that had always made his palms sweat and his heart beat fast. In that moment, Seungri wished Seunghyun had been the one he liked. It would’ve been easier. They would’ve been good together. Jiyong’s penchant for drama and Youngbae’s withdrawn behavior and inability to express himself, none of that would be a problem but even now he couldn’t bring himself to even try to see anything in Seunghyun other than a friendly hyung. He smiled back, happy to have someone to fall back on no matter what, a genuine friend to always hear him out.
“Eh, are you guys really going to look at each other like that while I’m here.” Jiyong said. His voice was even but his face masked a small frown as he resolved to ignore it and move on. Seunghyun turned away immediately, closing his book and standing up, stretching.
“No, because actually I have to go to work.” He walked up to Jiyong and smiled goofily, causing Jiyong to smile a bit, his anger halfway subsiding as he tossed his banana peel towards the taller man who quickly side stepped it.
“What about having fun and forgetting Youngbae?” Seungri asked lowly.
“I have a plan,” Jiyong assured Seungri, turning his attention towards the younger boy right before Seunghyun reached him, kissing him on the cheek before whispering in his ear.
“Don’t get into any trouble,” Seunghyun whispered out of Seungri’s earshot. It was a plea. One that Jiyong didn’t know he was going to give in to or not. He could feel a little tinge of jealousy in his heart towards Seungri and he looked at Seunghyun’s face, observing every little detail of his features before finally settling on an answer. “I won’t,” Jiyong replied quietly.
Seunghyun picked up his leather jacket from the coat hook on his wall, putting it on, saying good bye to Seungri and Jiyong before leaving quickly, a silence settle between the two before Jiyong stood up from the counter, picking up his banana and turning to Seungri.
“Okay, are you ready?”
Seungri’s eyes grew wide, “Who me?”
“No, the wall behind you.”
Seungri ignored him before looking to the coffee table in the room shyly, avoiding looking at Jiyong directly. “Ready for what?”
“Well, Youngbae is supposedly cheating on you. What are you going to do about it?”
“Confront him?” Seungri answered slowly, unsure of the right answer.
“No, you do something better,” Jiyong said, sporting a mischievous smile, “You get him back.”