Day THIRTY-ONE is saved, thanks to ME
Let's start with the standard and wholly basic information shall we?
Full name and any nicknames or titles: The United States of America, Alfred F. Jones, Hero
Age (both actual and human equivalence): Almost 200, not counting my colonial days! Boss says I look about 19, so I’ll trust him on that!
Species (if more than one please list all): Country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty!
Gender (please state if hermaphrodite): I’m a dude, promise!
Height: 5’10”
Weight: That’s not important!
All done? Good! Now that that's out of the way we'll start with some simple questions!
1) What is your favorite season? I guess I like spring the best, winter’s too cold!
2) What is your favorite color? Red! Like the stripes my flag!
3) Favorite type of music? I’ve been listening to a lot of rock ‘n roll lately, if that counts
4) Favorite food? BURGERS! And fries, shakes, coffee, hotdogs, Canada’s pancakes, etc.
5) What type of shoes do you like wearing most? Whatever’s comfortable! Running shoes work great, most of the time.
6) Favorite animal (for this please use Earth animals)? Bald eagle! Dogs are awesome, too, though.
7) Chunky or smooth peanut-butter, or are you allergic? Both! I’d hate to be allergic, you know how much that would blow?
8) White or wheat bread? Both, again! White bread’s sweeter, but wheat’s healthier, and I gotta lose weight, y’know!
9) Have a lucky number? What is it? Yep! 13 and 50!
10) Jeans, skirt, pants, pajamas, or shorts? Jeans, they’re a lot more casual than my uniform pants
Alright so let's get to know you a little better!
11) Can you sing like an angel or is it like running nails down a chalk-board? My singing is awesome! [No. No, it is not. Except when he’s srs bsns singing.]
12) Do you sing along to your music around people? What about dancing to your music… in public? I don’t see why not! I’m a free country, after all.
13) Play any musical instruments, how well? I’m pretty mean with those drums we used back in the old days on the battlefield
14) If you were taken to a karaoke bar what's the first song you'd pick (you have to sing, no choice)? “Blue Suede Shoes” by the King himself! Or something like “With A Little Help From My Friends,” the Beatles are pretty awesome
15) Any good at sports? Got any sport you're amazing at? How about terrible? Baseball! No one can beat me at baseball! Soccer, on the other hand…it’s not my best, okay?
16) Even if you didn't go to school, what would have been your best subject? Your worst subject? Science, definitely! England says I’m not so hot at Geography, but I know all I need to know!
17) Hey, do you have a lot of friends or just a few, do you even HAVE friends? I’ve got lots of friends! I always do!
18) Got a best friend? FDR and I were pretty close, but I can’t just pick one!
19) So what is your ideal job (legal or otherwise)? I’ve already got it! I’m the hero!
20) Alright, so let's say you get a day off from the dream job, what do you do on your day off? Walk in the park, hit a few balls, hang out with Canada (I think that’s his name), visit Seychelles at her house...I’d live it up!
So, how about some health questions?
21) Do you smoke, do you drink, heavily on either one? I’ve been doing better about smoking, I was a fuckin’ chimney not too long ago! Not so much with the drinking, that’s England’s problem.
22) Would you say you eat healthy? A-as healthy as I need to!
23) What about your eyes? Are you blind in one of them? Both of them? Texas kind of messed my eyesight back when I annexed her, but good thing she’s right here all the time!
24) Can you hear or do you need assistance in that? I can hear just fine!
25) Is your body in good shape? Do you work out? Hell yeah, I work out! Haven’t recently, but I’m usually at the gym every chance I can get!
26) Are you missing any limbs? Have you had to replace them? Not that I know of.
27) Were you born with any health problems: asthma, high blood pressure, cancer, etc.? Nope!
28) Have you gained any health problems in your life: breast cancer, diabetes, arthritis, burns? Burns? Well, yeah, but you got England and Canada to blame for that one.
29) Is there something that is different about you mentally: split-personality, ADD, hallucinations, etc.? Nope, don’t think so! [Says Mr. I’m-repressing-a-shit-ton-of-memories-that-can-easily-get-triggered-and-cause-me-to-lapse-into-not-good-times-plus-bam-civil-war-as-a-young-nation.]
30) Is your body covered in scars? Just makes me all the more heroic, right?
I feel like I'm really starting to get to know you! I'm going to ask about your love life now.
31) First off, do you have a preference? U-uh, women, I guess? I, uh, haven’t really thought about it before…
32) So, do you like anyone in particular? Do they like you back? I’m…pretty sure I don’t, if what France told me is right.
33) Are you a virgin? Was it lost willingly? NOT ANSWERING, next one!
34) So if you were married, would you want kids? How about not getting married, I like my independence! Kids…I’ve got the best girl I could ask for, I think I’m good.
35) List ALL of your secret kinks (feet, bondage, blood, wrists, fish-net, BDSM, cat-ears, school girls/boys, etc.) My what?
36) Do you like to cuddle? Maybe when I was kid, not sure about now. I haven't since then, I don't think.
37) If you got to choose who you lost/lose your virginity too, who would it be? No one! N-no one needs to know that!
38) Who was your first kiss? …Y’know, I’m not sure.
39) Where, to you, would be a kinky place to have sex? And a romantic place? There are different kinds of places for that?!
40) How much do/would you actually LIKE having sex? I’m using my right to remain silent, thanks.
Feeling a bit uncomfortable? Well we're going into your family now. If you have children we're going to focus on your own childhood.
41) How many are in your family? Millions and millions of people!
42) How many members of your family are still alive? Well, they die a lot, can’t really help that.
43) What's the relationship you have/had with your family? Not all of ‘em know me, but I’d like to think we’d all get along!
44) Do you think your parents would/are proud of you and the way you are now? Parents…you mean like Washington? Well, uh, eh heh, I think he’d be a little mad at me. Y’know, didn’t exactly do what he said in that Address of his…
45) Since a lot of people consider pets as part of the family, did/do you have any? I’ve got a dog back home, and I guess Dinah counts, now!
46) What's a pleasant memory you have of your family? Every July 4th!
47) What's a bad memory? The Civil War, really hoping that never happens again
48) Where did you live when you were growing up? In the big house England built. Moved out pretty quick, there. The boss lets me stay with him in the White House a lot, though!
49) Ever try to run away/ get kicked out? I kicked him out.
50) Did you have your own room when you were growing up? I had the stupid house all to myself. It’d have been neat if it wasn’t so huge and empty.
Right, so we're going to get a bit dirty now, just a little bit though.
51) List seven bad-habits (you're welcome to list more than seven). Bad habits? I don't have any!
52) What are five major irritations/pet-peeves of yours? Communism, oppression, tyranny, communism, and when France and England disagree with me
53) What would make you get into a fist fight, even if you were a pacifist by nature? Communism. Forget the fists, I've got nukes.
54) Would you ever steal for fun? What? No! That's unheroic!
55) If offered, would you do hard drugs? Have you already done them? We won't talk about the 60's, man.
56) What is your deepest fear? A hero can't reveal that, sorry.
57) What is your darkest secret? The basement's pretty dark...but nope, can't tell you guys!
58) What have you done that you are ashamed of? Uh. Can't say.
59) Have you ever caused someone to break down into tears? ...I don't regret it.
60) List seven flaws, starting with your biggest (Flaw ex: racist, sexist towards either gender, procrastinator, never on time, self-deprecating, etc). What flaws? Well...that whole slavery thing was pretty bad, but it's all fixed-up now!
Alright so this part may be a little tough for you. We're going to get deep in the mud with the questions. Now answer truthfully!
61) What would cause you to murder someone? Have you murdered someone? War is war, bud.
62) Have you ever contemplated suicide? Why would I? The world needs saving, and I'm the one to do it!
63) Have you ever been arrested for something more than a misdemeanor? Countries can't get arrested, no objections!
64) Would you take pleasure in torturing someone if it was someone you absolutely despised and loathed with every fiber of your being? I wouldn't be the Hero if I did.
65) If you could take revenge on everyone who has ever hurt you, would you? Nope!
66) What action would make you unable to look at yourself in the mirror? ...It already happened.
67) Let's say you found the love of your life. You have a child with them and some unexpected life-threatening event occurs where you have to choose your child or the love of your life, whom do you choose? I would save them both! As the hero, I have to! But...I guess my kid.
68) Could you kill a child for any reason? In total-war, everything goes.
69) Would you sleep with someone to gain more power/a higher position/status? No! I'll make my way to the top on my own, I don't need anyone's help!
70) Would you kill someone for power/a higher position/status? No way!
Yeaaah I think a shower is in order, and maybe some comfort food. Alright, let's do something light and nice to make up for the depression I've induced.
71) Anyone you admire? Why do you admire them? Greece was a pretty cool guy way back when! I got a lot of ideas from him. When I was younger, I really looked up to Locke and Rousseau and all those other guys.
72) What do you do when you're upset? Burgers make me feel better no matter what! And coffee, too!
73) What would be an instant pick-me-up for you if you were having a bad day? Coming home and seeing Alice. Cup of joe would be the cherry on the whole thing.
74) List seven nervous habits (running your hand through you hair, rubbing the inside of your wrist, rubbing the back of you neck, rambling, etc.). Nervous what?
75) Do you like to sleep on a soft mattress or a stiff one? Soft with lots of cushions and pillows!
76) Do you/did you sleep with a stuffed animal? No...
77) Do you like to sleep in late or even on days off you wake up early? I like to sleep all day in the winter, it's too cold to go outside!
78) Any collections (bottle caps, masks, art, gadgets, etc.)? Planes, guns, memorials, states, territories, lots of stuff
79) Any hobbies? Inventing new stuff, archeology, finding new ways to get into space, and playing baseball
80) Would you rather play board games, video/computer games, or outdoor games (assume you have enough people for each category)? Video/computer games! Those are so cool! All I have back at home is Pong, but the ones here are amazing!
Feel a little better? Not completely? Alright so here's so more light fun questions.
81) Shower or bath? Shower, it's manly!
82) Hot or cold water for the previous question? Depends on the day
83) Favorite kind of dessert (hard candy, chocolate, jelly-beans, cake, pie, etc.)? Apple pie with vanilla ice-cream
84) What is your favorite ice-cream flavor and what is a flavor that sounds terrible to you? I like all kinds of flavors! Baskin Robbins has 32 of 'em! Anything made by England sounds gross.
85) What type of toppings do you put on your ice-cream, do you put any toppings? Switching it up every time is how I do it, that way I never get bored!
86) Driver's seat or passenger? Driver's seat!
87) Any particular place you want to visit (can be ANYWHERE, the moon, Disneyland, anywhere)? The moon! I wouldn't mind going up there again!
88) What animal would you want to be (again for ease please use animals on earth)? Bald eagle, still, then I could fly into the sky all I want
89) Favorite plant (tree, plant, flower your choice)? Oak trees and roses.
90) Favorite smell (lilacs, cinnamon, fresh laundry, blood, etc.)? The smell of freedom and justice every morning!
Feel all better now? Good! Just a few more questions!
91) Go to a play/musical, watch a movie, or read a book? Depends! I wouldn't mind sitting at home watching Star Trek or reading some of Steinbeck's stuff
92) Do you have a religion? Nope! Some of my states do, though.
93) Do you believe in karma? What?
94) If someone was broken down on the side of the road would you stop to help them? Of course! Especially if they were anti-communist!
95) What sort of super power would you want to have (you can only have one power)? To turn invisible! Seriously, I have no idea how Canada does it!
96) A genie is giving you three wishes, what do you wish for (no wishing for more wishes)? For communism to end forever, for everyone to be happy, and that all of us get the happy ending we deserve
97) Where and what's your ideal place to live? Back home, it's perfect! Don't mind it here, so much, to be honest.
98) Setting aside whether or not you fight, what is the type of weapon would you use? Guns and nukes
99) The end of existence has been announced, you have a day until it ends, what do you do? If stopping it from happening doesn't work, then I'd shake hands with everyone in my Government, call up some buddies, and chill with them until the end.
Last question
100) Do you like yourself? How could anyone not like a hero?
I think that's it! So no tagging anyone for this one, right?