an early morning cleansing
it is now 5 am. i am exceptionally tired. and yet i do not sleep. after laying in bed and finishing a book by one of my most recent-favorite authors i lay there restless, but more importantly hot.
this bothers me greatly.
i know that i'm over-privledged compared to most of the world in that if i get hot i have central air and a ceiling fan to my advantage. and i am thankful. but if i am so lucky as to have these things i want to be so lucky as to have them actually keep me cool.
i have turned down the thermostat so that my mom will undoubtedly come and yell at me, where i will promptly blame the temperature change on my brother, as he is notorious for wanting to freeze everyone out. my mom is also notorious for being able to catch cold in the fires of hell. she's freezing while others sweat bullets.
as a result of my slight fear that will ensue as i am undoubtedly ratted out as my brother sleepy professes to nothing, i can only turn it down so far and feel like it might be okay. this brings me to the celing fan.
it is on almost constantly and yet, i feel nothing. i lay here night after night hot, wondering why i have the worst celing fan/the hottest possible room ever made on a ground floor in the history of building homes. then it dawns on me, i can make the fan turn the other way.
this is a glorious revalation and after stopping the blades and inspecting their slant i realize the fan has been working against me the whole time. as the vent for the air is right next to the fan blades, and the fan blades have been tilted this ENTIRE time to blow air upwards i have been denying myself of any benefit from either, when i'd been striving so long for the benefits of both. this revalation is indeed, most glorious, and i reach to change the direction of the rotation. when i am overcome with shock, horror, and repulsion.
now i am not a fool. i know how easy it is to change said direction. it's a small little switch on the main body of the fan. but you must understand where this fan has been for the past, oh, seven years. this has been the computer room. sometimes known as the smoking lounge. while yes, every room encountered it's fair share of smoke, this one took the brunt of it all. two two-pack a day internet addicted people sat here for hours at a time, smoking. with the fan turning, slowly. and slowly, it picked up all kinds of dirt and filth you cannot possibly imagine unless you've had to do this yourself.
realizing the task at hand i equip myself with large amounts of toilet paper and wipe down the blades one by one. each blade takes about three wads of toilet paper for me to feel as though i had a satisfactory distance between myself and the filth. it's true, i may be a little OCD, but you would have wanted just as much toilet paper between yourself and the fan. there is no debating how unhealthy it would be to touch it with bare flesh.
halfway through the first blade i watch in slow horror as a giant pile of dust falls from my toilet paper safety net and onto my comforter. i know there's no saving it now, so i drape the comforter over the bed as fully as possible and vow to be more careful with the rest. after i've gotten most of it away i take a wet rag and removed all of the other smaller bits of dust. i then wrap up the comforter and took it to the laundry room and replaced it with a much loved light quit just in case the Lord hates me and this doesn't work. i have felt such satisfaction with very few things in my life. a very quick, very dramatic change brought on by a small effort of cleaning is unbelievably satisfying. don't believe me? steam blast the grout between your shower tiles. watch the dirt melt away as you do almost nothing. you'll feel as though you've just been given the best scooby snack on the planet.
i flip the switch and nervously wait. it start. instantly a rush of cool air flows over me and i come to know what i've been missing the whole time. no more rolling around in the sheets, sweating and delerious from lack of sleep for me.
i feel like i could sleep in this cooled room forever.
this bothers me greatly.
i know that i'm over-privledged compared to most of the world in that if i get hot i have central air and a ceiling fan to my advantage. and i am thankful. but if i am so lucky as to have these things i want to be so lucky as to have them actually keep me cool.
i have turned down the thermostat so that my mom will undoubtedly come and yell at me, where i will promptly blame the temperature change on my brother, as he is notorious for wanting to freeze everyone out. my mom is also notorious for being able to catch cold in the fires of hell. she's freezing while others sweat bullets.
as a result of my slight fear that will ensue as i am undoubtedly ratted out as my brother sleepy professes to nothing, i can only turn it down so far and feel like it might be okay. this brings me to the celing fan.
it is on almost constantly and yet, i feel nothing. i lay here night after night hot, wondering why i have the worst celing fan/the hottest possible room ever made on a ground floor in the history of building homes. then it dawns on me, i can make the fan turn the other way.
this is a glorious revalation and after stopping the blades and inspecting their slant i realize the fan has been working against me the whole time. as the vent for the air is right next to the fan blades, and the fan blades have been tilted this ENTIRE time to blow air upwards i have been denying myself of any benefit from either, when i'd been striving so long for the benefits of both. this revalation is indeed, most glorious, and i reach to change the direction of the rotation. when i am overcome with shock, horror, and repulsion.
now i am not a fool. i know how easy it is to change said direction. it's a small little switch on the main body of the fan. but you must understand where this fan has been for the past, oh, seven years. this has been the computer room. sometimes known as the smoking lounge. while yes, every room encountered it's fair share of smoke, this one took the brunt of it all. two two-pack a day internet addicted people sat here for hours at a time, smoking. with the fan turning, slowly. and slowly, it picked up all kinds of dirt and filth you cannot possibly imagine unless you've had to do this yourself.
realizing the task at hand i equip myself with large amounts of toilet paper and wipe down the blades one by one. each blade takes about three wads of toilet paper for me to feel as though i had a satisfactory distance between myself and the filth. it's true, i may be a little OCD, but you would have wanted just as much toilet paper between yourself and the fan. there is no debating how unhealthy it would be to touch it with bare flesh.
halfway through the first blade i watch in slow horror as a giant pile of dust falls from my toilet paper safety net and onto my comforter. i know there's no saving it now, so i drape the comforter over the bed as fully as possible and vow to be more careful with the rest. after i've gotten most of it away i take a wet rag and removed all of the other smaller bits of dust. i then wrap up the comforter and took it to the laundry room and replaced it with a much loved light quit just in case the Lord hates me and this doesn't work. i have felt such satisfaction with very few things in my life. a very quick, very dramatic change brought on by a small effort of cleaning is unbelievably satisfying. don't believe me? steam blast the grout between your shower tiles. watch the dirt melt away as you do almost nothing. you'll feel as though you've just been given the best scooby snack on the planet.
i flip the switch and nervously wait. it start. instantly a rush of cool air flows over me and i come to know what i've been missing the whole time. no more rolling around in the sheets, sweating and delerious from lack of sleep for me.
i feel like i could sleep in this cooled room forever.